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Wednesday joke thread


dabuffbills
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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me? 'To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids. ' Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???' She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

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A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later,

a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom.

 

A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.

 

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is

screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the

customers!"

 

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something

comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles."

 

With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says..."You idiot! You're

sitting on the mop bucket!"

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