Chargerz publishes an article

[Fatman]

If Wanting To See Vaginas Is A Crime, Then I, Your Honor, Am Guilty

 

By Alan Tripp

May 23, 2007 | Issue 43•21

 

I stand before you today accused of wrongdoing, with my reputation called into question before the entire community. But in truth, I am no more guilty of a crime than any other man in this courtroom.

 

Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I say today on behalf of all mankind: If wanting to see vaginas is a crime, then I am guilty of that crime. And if going to great lengths to find unblinded windows or drill peepholes through which vaginas may be plainly observed elevates that crime from a misdemeanor to a multi-count felony, then I plead no contest.

 

But before you pass judgment on me, look into your own hearts. Is there a man among us, here in this hall of so-called "justice," that does not also desire to see vaginas? Does any one of you not admire their natural, flowerlike perfection, or not enjoy the sexual urges they conjure deep within your being?

 

Then why drag me into this august chamber and put my future in jeopardy for wanting nothing but the same? The only difference between us is that I acted upon the conviction of my beliefs, whereas you stood by and did nothing. And, in doing nothing, missed out on seeing a lot of amazing vaginas.

 

Is not the pursuit of happiness a fundamental right promised by our nation's own Declaration of Independence? Well, what could make any man happier than to see a myriad of young vaginas, in a group shower, lovingly hand-lathered to a state of moist, soapy perfection? Is that not what our founding fathers themselves envisioned so many years ago?

 

Yet here in this courtroom, we act as if the glory of the vagina is something to be hidden from public view. And in so doing, we veil the most rapturous wonder of creation under ignorance, repression, hosiery, and outerwear. Not unlike the conservative poly-knit skirt worn by the prosecuting attorney, who, I might add, is a very attractive woman.

 

Have we as a society really come to the point where it is a crime for a man in a ski mask and black coveralls to place a simple ladder against the side of a building and climb his way to a vantage point from which the glorious beauty of the nude vagina can be gazed upon with the rapt wonderment it deserves? Where the mere act of placing hidden cameras in a dorm lavatory is to be looked down upon in hypocritical shame? Where even something so innocent as the posting of live streaming feeds on the Internet—so that all men, regardless of race, creed, or color, may share in the beauty of these vaginas—is somehow considered "wrong"?

 

As long as we're at it, why don't we put every man who desires to see the vaginas of unknown women on some kind of national database and make him go door to door telling all of his neighbors, "I like vaginas! I like vaginas!"

 

As far as I am concerned, a world that denies a man's God-given right to stare directly at the genitalia of any woman he so desires is not a world worth living in. If you are going to sit there and tell me it is illegal in America to look at women in various states of undress, without their knowledge or consent, even when one is perfectly willing to expose his own genitals to the women in return, then go ahead and lock me up. I would rather spend my life in a holding cell for Stanton County's sexual offenders than go free in a world that would punish a man for the very act of being a man.

[Chargerz]

Is there a man among us, here in this hall of so-called "justice," that does not also desire to see vaginas? Does any one of you not admire their natural, flowerlike perfection, or not enjoy the sexual urges they conjure deep within your being?

 

Well stated.

As long as we're at it, why don't we put every man who desires to see the vaginas of unknown women on some kind of national database and make him go door to door telling all of his neighbors, "I like vaginas! I like vaginas!"

 

[jaxfactor]

 

I keep picturing Tim Matheson on ANIMAL HOUSE as the speaker.

[Cameltosis]

I keep picturing Tim Matheson on ANIMAL HOUSE as the speaker.

 

 

The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests, we did.

 

fantastic line!

[DemonKnight]

Well stated.

 

 

 

I gotta ask... do you ever get wood when youre working on an especially nice bagina chargerz?

[Chargerz]

I gotta ask... do you ever get wood when youre working on an especially nice bagina chargerz?

 

Every so often a patient does make mah pants tight. That's another reason I wear a white coat at work.

[Fatman]

Every so often a patient does make mah pants tight. That's another reason I wear a white coat at work.

 

 

Your malpractice insurance must be through the roof...

[The Holy Roller]

Your malpractice insurance must be through the roof...

 

 

[Randall]

Do you have a hidden video camera you could link here?

[isleseeya]

Same token gotta be rough when chewbacca like patient hits the stirrups as well ...probably need to be on empty stomache when that happens

[DemonKnight]

Every so often a patient does make mah pants tight. That's another reason I wear a white coat at work.

 

 

While were on the subject... Whats the funkiest smellin snapper you ever had the misfortune to split? And what is it that makes some chicks get funkalicous? I've banged some of the hottest, cleanest chicks (Ya, you Whitney) and she juat had an ambient odor. Whats the deal? I mean, I like a little aroma to savor later but this chick was a bit much. Oh, and do you ever savor the aroma of a used glove after your patient leaves? TYIA Doc.

[Chargerz]

While were on the subject... Whats the funkiest smellin snapper you ever had the misfortune to split? And what is it that makes some chicks get funkalicous? I've banged some of the hottest, cleanest chicks (Ya, you Whitney) and she juat had an ambient odor. Whats the deal? I mean, I like a little aroma to savor later but this chick was a bit much. Oh, and do you ever savor the aroma of a used glove after your patient leaves? TYIA Doc.

 

Most bad "funkalicious aromas" are due to bacterial infections treatable with antibiotics.

 

Used gloves go in the trash as fast as I can get them there!!

[Ursa Majoris]

I've banged some of the hottest, cleanest chicks (Ya, you Whitney)

Ruh roh......

 

 

 

[HowboutthemCowboys]

While were on the subject... Whats the funkiest smellin snapper you ever had the misfortune to split? And what is it that makes some chicks get funkalicous? I've banged some of the hottest, cleanest chicks (Ya, you Whitney) and she juat had an ambient odor. Whats the deal? I mean, I like a little aroma to savor later but this chick was a bit much. Oh, and do you ever savor the aroma of a used glove after your patient leaves? TYIA Doc.