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Washington Post's Mensa Invitational


Big Country
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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's {2005} winners:

 

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

 

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole.

 

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

 

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

 

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

 

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

 

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

 

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

 

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

 

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

 

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

 

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody i! s sending off all these really bad vibes, right? An! d ! then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

 

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

 

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

 

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

 

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

 

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

 

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

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