McNabb is Doomed

[kpholmes]

Hehe thought this was pretty humerous,

No Way Eagles Will Survive 2005 Season

 

Friends and family hate watching games with me. Yes, I'm the guy who will sit on the same spot of the same couch for three straight hours as long as my team is winning. I saw absolutely nothing wrong with the 1991 Minnesota North Stars (remember them?) when they refused to change their underwear throughout a dazzling playoff run. Wade Boggs' pregame chicken routine struck me as obvious, not bizarre. And I didn't have to watch Games 4, 5, 6 and 7 of the ALCS last year. The second my buddy Patrick asked me, "Who's it going to be for the Yankees in the World Series — the Astros or the Cardinals?" during the Game 3 blowout at Fenway, I knew all three teams were doomed.

 

So when I witnessed Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb appear in Sports Illustrated, grace the cover of Madden 06 and show up in a Campbell's Soup commercial — all in a seven-day span — I immediately deemed the Giants NFC East champions. There was no way — no chance — the Eagles were going to survive the 2005-06 season.

 

You see, the Madden cover curse, the Campbell's soup commercial curse and the Sports Illustrated cover curse (though McNabb merely appeared in the mag and was not actually on the cover) are like the holy trinity of sports hexes. Imagine seeing a black cat, walking under a ladder and saying "candyman" three times into a mirror all at once. That's what Donovan McNabb did this week. Eagles fans better get ready for the Mike McMahon era. Not to be a doom-and-gloomer, but there's simply no possible way McNabb lasts at quarterback for the entire season. You can overcome team conflict, major injuries and a divided lockerroom; you can't overcome the hands of fate.

 

For those of you unfamiliar with the three curses, let me enlighten you.

 

 

An appearance on the cover of SI could only further doom Donovan McNabb. (Miles Kennedy / Associated Press)

 

The Madden cover curse dates back to 2000, the first year the Electronic Arts video game featured a player instead of John Madden on its cover. Coming into the season, Eddie George was the most consistent running back in the NFL, ready to take the Tennessee Titans to their second straight Super Bowl. Instead, he was the Madden cover boy, suffered an injury-plagued season and saw the Ravens manhandle the Titans three times en route to a Super Bowl trip of their own.

 

In 2001, Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper graced the game's cover. Sure enough, he suffered a season-ending injury in Chicago. 2002's cover boy? Coming off seven straight 1,000 yard seasons, Marshall Faulk rolled his ankle, missed six games and failed to carry the Rams deep into the playoffs. 2003? With the "Madden curse" already of great legend, Michael Vick stood up and assumed the role. As a result, he got hurt, missed most the season and saw the Falcons stumble to a losing record. Last year, Ray Lewis was the game's face. Though he avoided any major injuries, the Ravens went 9-7 and missed the playoffs.

 

The Campbell's Soup commercial curse, though less publicized, is just as damaging. Over the past few seasons, Chunky soup commercial victims tend to either suffer major injuries or blow big games in clutch situations. After appearing in a few of these ads with an actress playing his mother, Pittsburgh Steelers running back Jerome Bettis battled with injuries throughout the 2002 and 2003 seasons. Kurt Warner, a virtual lock for the Hall of Fame after record-breaking seasons in 1999-2001, has had a disastrous NFL career since his inspiring cameos in the soup commercials. I'm convinced Terrell Davis' early retirement can be directly linked to his involvement in these ads. Neil Smith? Done. Out of the league altogether. Brian Urlacher? The guy's like the Allan Houston of football — apparently really talented, but always in street clothes, injured on the sidelines. After Michael Strahan became the face of the soup ads, the New York Post discovered that he had been guilty of foul play, messing around with the nanny behind his wife's back. He also spent most of last season out with an injury.

 

And then there's Donovan McNabb. Lest we forget the fourth quarter of last year's Super Bowl? Yes, Andy Warhol or not, there's something "funky" linked to these soup cans.

 

The granddaddy of sports curses, though, has to be the Sports Illustrated cover jinx. Granted, McNabb only appeared in last week's issue, not on the magazine's front cover. Nevertheless, the coincidence of any article focused on McNabb (this one on his workout routine) and his tumultuous week in the headlines can not be ignored. Some of the famous Sports Illustrated cover hexes? Here's just a few from the past 15 years:

 

 

Sept. 30, 1991: Ramon Martinez graces the cover with the Dodgers up two games in the National League West. Martinez subsequently loses his next two starts, and the Dodgers finish the season a game behind the Braves.

 

Scott Bentley struggled after appearing on the cover of SI's college football preview. (Scott Halleran / Getty Images)

 

 

Aug. 30, 1993: Florida State kicker Scott Bentley is the face of the college football preview. He goes on to miss seven extra points that season.

 

April 25, 1994: Dan "Big Daddy" Wilkinson headlines the NFL Draft Preview. Ten years later, it is safe to say "Big Daddy's" NFL career was nothing more than a "Big Bust."

 

Jan. 13, 1997: Kerry Collins and Mark Brunell appear on the cover after leading their expansion teams to the NFC and AFC championship games. Sure enough, both teams lose the next week.

 

Oct. 20, 1997: After upsetting top-ranked Florida, LSU's football team gets the cover. They lose the next week to Ole Miss 36-21.

 

Aug. 13, 2001: Sports Illustrated preseason No. 1 Oregon State is on the cover of the College Football Preview. They go 5-6 and fail to play in a bowl game.

 

Nov. 26, 2001: Nebraska quarterback Eric Crouch is the SI cover boy. His next game, Colorado upsets the Huskers 62-36.

Combine these three jinxes, and it should be to absolutely no one's surprise that Donovan McNabb was front and center in the week's biggest sports controversy. At this point, Eagle fans might want to stop reading (if they haven't already). Unfortunately, it seems as though things are only going to get worse.

 

Todd Pinkston's season-ending injury? Hmm…

 

Freddy Mitchell got injured too. Though he's not even an Eagle anymore, it seems as though anyone ever linked with McNabb is going down.

 

If I were an Eagle player, I probably wouldn't leave the house this preseason. Bad things will undoubtedly happen.

 

Ugh, and now Rush Limbaugh wants to get involved. It's only August, and already these curses are overlapping, producing disastrous results. Run for the hills, Eagles fans. Run for the hills. Watch the Phillies blow the NL wild card now too. Yes, hexes such as these are so powerful, that they carry over to different sports too.

 

All in all, I'm rooting for Donovan McNabb. If he defies the football gods and leads the Eagles to a Super Bowl victory, he will free me from my many strange superstitious rituals. He will also put to rest three of the most powerful sports jinxes.

 

I just don't have much faith. It's one thing to win an argument with Terrell Owens. It's another to defy destiny.

 

Lleme know what ya think,

kyle.

[kpholmes]

bump.

[Todd1]

Vick was the cover girl last year right? I would say the Madden Curse skipped a year.

 

I think TO's crap is going to have a huge effect on McNabb being a semi-'bust' this year. I wouldn't take him over Favre, Green or Hasselbeck this year.

 

When is the last time a SB loser has had a good year? 1991-93 Buffalo?

[pedroz13]

Vick was the cover girl last year right?  I would say the Madden Curse skipped a year.

 

I think TO's crap is going to have a huge effect on McNabb being a semi-'bust' this year.  I wouldn't take him over Favre, Green or Hasselbeck this year. 

 

When is the last time a SB loser has had a good year?  1991-93 Buffalo?

 

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Wrong...Ray Lewis was the cover last year. Ray played in 15 games last year, but clearly had a very mediocre year by his standards. Two years ago was Vick (and we all know how that year panned out for him).

[Bill Swerski]

Wrong...Ray Lewis was the cover last year.  Ray played in 15 games last year, but clearly had a very mediocre year by his standards.  Two years ago was Vick (and we all know how that year panned out for him).

 

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A mediocre year with 15 games played and a 9-7 record seems to suggest that the "Madden Curse" is a bunch of BS. Ray and his team may have been just plain good, but they certainly weren't "cursed" last year.

[pedroz13]

A mediocre year with 15 games played and a 9-7 record seems to suggest that the "Madden Curse" is a bunch of BS.  Ray and his team may have been just plain good, but they certainly weren't "cursed" last year.

 

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I agree...the 'curse' in the years before Ray was on the cover meant missing significant time to injury. Now the curse just means whatever is convenient, like Ray Lewis having a mediocre year. I don't buy into it either. That being said, I am not drafting McNabb this year unless its late in the 3rd round. Of course, I know he won't be there.