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How to speak Klingon


polksalet
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Here's How:

 

1. First, spend a few minutes thumping your chest and snarling. This language is mostly about attitude.

2. Say "Ha! Ha! Ha!" as loudly as you can to get used to forcing sounds up from your diaphragm.

3. The most important word to know is "Qapla'" (pronounced "kap-LA!"), which is a way of wishing people "Success!" Imagine five scenarios where you might say this. Practice grunting it out, putting heavy emphasis on the second syllable.

4. The second most important word to know is "putaQ" (pronounced "poo-tak"), which is a nicely general insult.

5. There, now you have a sentence, "Qapla' putaQ!" (I wish you success, you jerk!)

6. Go up to someone you don't like, thump your chest, snarl, and grunt very loudly, "Qapla' putaQ!"

7. Run.

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