isleseeya Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Senility & The Stoplight >> >> >> Two elderly women were out driving in a large car -- both could barely >> see > over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an > intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. >> >> The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it, > I could have sworn we just went through a red light." >> >> After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light > was red again... and again they went right though. >> >> This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light > had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was > getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and > the > next intersection to see what was going on. >> >> At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and > they went right through. >> >> She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just >> ran > through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!" >> >> Mildred turned to her and said "Oh, am I driving?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxfactor Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Speaking of senility, here's another: There's this woman in a senior citizen center who rides around in her wheelchair like a speed demon. So one day she's doing the usual, flying down the hall, makes a screeching turn to the right when all of a sudden an old retired police officer in his trenchcoat stops her and says" You are driving way too unsafe for conditions. I must give you a citation" The old woman reaches into her pocketbook and pulls out a couple chocolates and gives them to the old man. He says, "I guess I can let you off with just a warning". She says thanks and proceeds down the hall in her wreckless ways once again. Coming around yet another corner she runs into the ex-officer once again. He screams, "HALT!. You are once again driving too fast and wreckless. I must give you a citation!" Once again the old lady reachess into her purse and pulls out what's left of the bag of chocolates. Once again the ex-officer explains, "I guess I can let you off with a warning but you must promise to be more careful." The old woman agrees and she's once again on her merry way. She starts rolling around yet again like a mad woman and comes around the corner again only to find the retired officer minus his trenchcoat completely naked. He exclaims, "HALT!" The old woman shakes her head and says,'" Oh sh*t, not another breathalizer!" :rimshot: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 (edited) >> Mildred turned to her and said "Oh, am I driving?" It would have been a funnier joke if Mildred was dead. How come nobody gets named Mildred anymore? No joke though, two days ago when we were getting snow, I was driving out of Boulder on Broadway... two lanes on each side, and there is a car in front of me that is just drifting between the two lanes indiscriminately. The car finally gets over to one lane and I decide to pass it... but I must look over to see what this person's deal is. Drunk? Old? Retarded? It turns out the driver was a very stoned looking hippie girl (in Boulder? What?)... and she has not cleared off the snow that is on her hood which is piled literally a foot high... so she is sitting as tall as she can peering over the top of the snow pile on her hood. But, she can't possibly see anything on the road within 20 feet of her car. So I layed on the horn and swerved at her, then cut her off to make her jam on the brakes. The I got out and stole her beaded patchulli sack. Actually, I just drove on and pitied her. Edited March 2, 2007 by AtomicCEO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retrograde assault Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 People with senility don't let friends with dementia drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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