Spain: Live From the Other Side of the Pond

[spain]

Sounds like you are having an awesome trip....

 

I sent you a PM about the upcoming Hannibals draft and some people are concerned about your status prior to starting the draft on Monday 8/27. Can your let me know via PM or stop by the MB to let the guys know? Thanks and Ciao!

I am in there like swimwear. Just got back from across the pond but will post more of my exploits when I can. Definitely in there for the draft.

[spain]

Ok, I got behind in finishing this trip report and will write some now that I am home as things come back to me. After Malta, we had a day at sea crusing around. And we needed it with such a port intensive cruise. It was SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS !!!in brural. We hung out at the pool and drank most of the day. The night before we were hanging out at the pool and I somehow bet a couple of people that I would jump off a rail about 15 feet above the jacuzzi into the pool the next day when it was packed with FOP's. The next day the pool was so packed that you couldnt get another person in there without a giant shoe horn and some axle grease. Of course, they reminded me of my drunken wager from the night before, so I climbed up atop this rail above the jacuzzi. My wife was giving me that "oh Sega!, you arent really doing this are you?" look. Just as I was about to jump, the captain sounds the obnoxiously loud horn. I took it as a Q for me to go ahead and do my cannonball. My form wasnt great but it acheived the desired result. I was simultaneously applauded and hated by everyone there. The assistant cruise director came right over and gave me that look, and said, "I dont think that I need to tell you not to do that again and that we do have a brig on this ship". In my best George Costanza accent I said, "Was that wrong? I didnt know that was wrong. If you had only told me that that sort of thing was wrong". He bust out laughing and told me no more jumping and that he had never seen anyone ever do that before.

 

I mentioned that old Jewish people love me. Well, that night, I guess after seeing my diving prowess, this FOP Jewish Doctor from NYC, his wife who is a Cantor, and one of their close friends who is richer than God, invited us to join them for dinner. We drank so much expensive wine that I have been Sega!ting grapes and pissing vinegar ever since. We all became fast friends and they decided that they wanted to hang with us when we got to Athens since we were both staying over an extra day. They even switched to our hotel. I have a great New York Jewish accent so whenever anyone of them would complain I would use it and say stuff like, 'And for this, I should be penalized?" or "And for this, I paid $90". Whether it applied or not, but it sounded funny and they laughed all night over this old redneck making fun of them. I think I am going to go Sam Davis Jr and become a Jew. Even a Cantor in the synagogue gets to get loaded and talk nasty all night. Plus she was hot and had one of the best boob jobs I have ever seen. You dont see that in the Baptist Church, thats for sure.

 

I really enjoyed my first experience aboard Oceania. As a matter of fact, I think I will give a quick review of the various cruise lines in the different categories:

 

Luxury Cruise Lines:

Crystal: Never been on it but have heard it is very stuffy and snooty but with a top quality product. The morbidly pretentious aboard will destest me almost as much as I loathe them. I would make a huge ass out of myself on this line so the wife forbids me from even looking at them. But I got friends in low places where the wiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away.

 

Seaborn: Heard nothing but good things but it is expenesive. Small ships. You better have won the lottery to sail them.

 

Regent: Formally Radison Seven Seas. This is my dream cruise line. When I hit the lottery this is where I will be cruising. They have a ship called the Paul Gaugan that crusies around Taihiti that I desperatly want to get on. Very expensive but everything including booze is included. This line doesnt have the stuffiness of other Luxury lines but offers arguebly the best product. Small ships. Wonderful clientel. Lots of boob jobs and other successful plastic surgery patients aboard. I get a 3/4 chub just thinking about it.

 

Premium Lines:

Holland America: This is the "Morgue at Sea". Lots of FOP's. Actually, all lines have lots of FOP's but it seems particurlarly so with Holland America. They do offer a good product, but too formal for my taste. My Aunt and Uncle who have probably 50 cruises under their belts love HA. I do not but you wont be disappointed with them particuarly of you love old people, mall walkers, and dressing up for dinner while on vacation.

 

Celebrity: I really like this line. Food is excellent. Similar product to HA but not as formal and a little younger crowd. Ive heard that they have slipped as of late but I personally love these guys. I MUCH prefer them over HA.

 

Cunard: I only sailed them once when I took the QE II from Copenhagen, Denmark to NYC. They are very nice and classy as hell. This is old school cruising. Not my style but you wont be disappointed.

 

Oceania: Love it! Great food. Enthusiastic Crew. Limited smoking. No kids. Small ships. Plus alot of alcoholics to keep my company. Cabins are small but well appointed. The whole Butler thing blew me away. Afternoon tea and lots of small touches added alot to this line. Frank Del Rio is one of the most well respected CEO's in the business. I will definitely be back on Oceania, BELIEVE THAT!

 

Mass Marke Linest:

Princess: I have always enjoy "The Love Boat". Big ships. Lots to do. Not formal. Clean and nice. Kids programs are 2nd to none. Food is decent and plentiful. Probably my favorite of the big mass market lines. Lots of college chicks to ogle wearing dental floss for bathing suits. These guys were one of the first on the Inward Passage bandwagon to Alaska. Good value and not stuffy. This is like hanging out in Vegas for a week without the casino's and hookers.

 

Royal Carribean: Fairly similar to Princess. Huge Ships. Lots of people and families. Lots to do. Not real impressed with their latest itineraries. Food is not bad and is plentiful. Long lines sometimes drive me crazy. Lots of drunk people and not pretentious at all. This ship is like going to Walmart, for 7 days and 6 nights.

 

Norwegian: No No No NO No! He11 No! Any questions? Good, Next!

 

Carnival: Entry level cruise for cheap. This was the original "booze cruise". Food sucks. But lots of beer and it was cheap. Your odds of catching a venereal disease are extremely high on this ship. Pack plenty of condoms and some valtrax.

 

I will post more about our last two stops, Santorini in the Greek Isles and then Athens, our last stop later. Stop suffering jet lag...

[rocknrobn26]

Ok, I got behind in finishing this trip report and will write some now that I am home as things come back to me. After Malta, we had a day at sea crusing around. And we needed it with such a port intensive cruise. It was SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS !!!in brural. We hung out at the pool and drank most of the day. The night before we were hanging out at the pool and I somehow bet a couple of people that I would jump off a rail about 15 feet above the jacuzzi into the pool the next day when it was packed with FOP's. The next day the pool was so packed that you couldnt get another person in there without a giant shoe horn and some axle grease. Of course, they reminded me of my drunken wager from the night before, so I climbed up atop this rail above the jacuzzi. My wife was giving me that "oh Sega!, you arent really doing this are you?" look. Just as I was about to jump, the captain sounds the obnoxiously loud horn. I took it as a Q for me to go ahead and do my cannonball. My form wasnt great but it acheived the desired result. I was simultaneously applauded and hated by everyone there. The assistant cruise director came right over and gave me that look, and said, "I dont think that I need to tell you not to do that again and that we do have a brig on this ship". In my best George Costanza accent I said, "Was that wrong? I didnt know that was wrong. If you had only told me that that sort of thing was wrong". He bust out laughing and told me no more jumping and that he had never seen anyone ever do that before.

 

I mentioned that old Jewish people love me. Well, that night, I guess after seeing my diving prowess, this FOP Jewish Doctor from NYC, his wife who is a Cantor, and one of their close friends who is richer than God, invited us to join them for dinner. We drank so much expensive wine that I have been Sega!ting grapes and pissing vinegar ever since. We all became fast friends and they decided that they wanted to hang with us when we got to Athens since we were both staying over an extra day. They even switched to our hotel. I have a great New York Jewish accent so whenever anyone of them would complain I would use it and say stuff like, 'And for this, I should be penalized?" or "And for this, I paid $90". Whether it applied or not, but it sounded funny and they laughed all night over this old redneck making fun of them. I think I am going to go Sam Davis Jr and become a Jew. Even a Cantor in the synagogue gets to get loaded and talk nasty all night. Plus she was hot and had one of the best boob jobs I have ever seen. You dont see that in the Baptist Church, thats for sure.

 

I really enjoyed my first experience aboard Oceania. As a matter of fact, I think I will give a quick review of the various cruise lines in the different categories:

 

You are freakin' crazy! Funny Chit!

I'm waiting to hear your accent in Vegas. Order some Matzo Ball soup @ the Flamingo. It really is good.

"Oy! I been vaitin' on dis soop for an hour and now it's cold (accent on cold)? You putz! "

Edited August 25, 2007 by rocknrobn26