Cliaz Redskins Fantasy Value Input

[cliaz]

Now I know what you all are thinking: “Beside Clinton Portis as a 2nd back who in the H.E. double hockey sticks is there?” Lucky enough I am here to clear this up for everyone.

 

Fantasy Value from the Redskins:

 

#1. David Robertson – Water Boy:

 

This amazing kid can do it all, unwrap the cups, fill the squeeze bottles and mix the perfect batch of Gatorade. Last year many Fantasy Owners went out on a limb and drafted Robertson in the 8th round and ended up with mud in their face. During the Monday Night Redskins – Cowboys game, Robertson twisted his ankle while rushing over to Patrick Ramsey on the side lines, forcing this kid to sit out the next two game. Don’t worry one bit and feel comfortable in drafting him. If he falls back to the 8th round or lower you have a steal.

 

#2. Tony Capron - Assistant Janitor

 

Many people feel that Tony has hung around the game for 2 years too many but nothing could be further than the true. Though talks of him retiring after 35 years of cleaning puke and pee covered toilets after each home game, Tony has decided to give it one more year. Last year the 61 year old managed to clean the whole 2nd tier bathrooms during the Redskins/Eagles game and still took out all of the trash from hot dog stand. Simply amazing to see this man at work, no one pushes a broom as well as he does. Feel confident in drafting him in the mid to late rounds this year.

 

#3. Rachel Dwight – Security Guard

 

Now before any of you get your panties up in a bunch about a security guard making this list, check this out. In 2003 season she managed to catch 71 people sneaking bottles of jack and rum into the stadium and still kept the ticket scalpers out from in front of the club level entrance. Still not convinced? In 2004 she single handedly caught and removed six college kids from the Uv. of Maryland selling Josh Gordon in the bathroom. Of course the Josh Gordon never turned up at the security shack in the lower levels but hey, can you blame her? After all Dan Snyder refused to restructure her contract forcing her to take a night job at Home Depot.

 

#4 Mookie – Crack Dealer

 

In a surprise move to most in the fantasy football circle a drug dealer has climb the ranks and secured his spot among the mid round picks. Most of you know that on any given Sunday, if you go outside of gate E and look for the pimped out looking Honda Accord blasting fiddy cent you can get either some rock, a dime bag or a little water (a cigarette dipped in embalming fluid for the white folks reading this.) What really impressed me was during his 2004 campaign Mookies not only out ran stadium security but also confused Maryland State Troopers when they tried to arrest him and couldn’t find any of his stash. Needless to say the hookers that were standing near his Accord began to sweat and shake a bit. I know you may think that drafting him before the 15th round is a risk but trust me on this, with T.O. likely out for the season and the Giants still unsure of their Offense you can trust on Mookie to get anyone the good to enjoy their Sunday afternoon.

 

There is it folks, the cream of the crop from Redskins park. Be on the look out for my review of Washington Wizards when their pre-season starts.

 

God the skins are going to suck this year.

Edited August 14, 2005 by cliaz

[rhippens]

nice work cliaz. great insight there. i'm glad you snuck it in before my first draft tomorrow.

[skins]

yer vile....

[muck]

yer vile....

 

926291[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

I didn't realize Skins ever left the sidelines...

 

[T_bone65]

There is some definte good info in this thread Cliaz. We will have to do a sig line bet when the Boys play the Skins this year. Let me know if you are interested.

[Jimmy Neutron]

 

Nice work, Cliaz.