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Friday night hughmor


BillyBalata
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1 . What do you call a pantry full of lesbians?

 

 

A licker cabinet.

 

 

2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? ...

 

A Klondyke.

 

 

3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? ...

 

Militia Etheridge.

 

 

4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?

 

 

Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.

 

 

5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? ...

 

Fur Traders.

 

 

6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? ...

 

A Lickalotapuss.

 

 

7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? ..

 

Well Hung.

 

 

8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned? ..

 

She was found face down in Ricki Lake

 

9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? ...

 

Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

 

 

10. What do you call lesbian twins? ...

 

Lick-a-likes.

 

 

11. What's the definition of confusion? ..

 

Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

 

 

12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?

 

 

One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker

 

 

 

 

 

 

13. What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 state workers?

 

 

100 people that don't do dick.

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Tennessee Home Security System

 

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

 

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine, and several NRA magazines.

 

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

 

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

 

Hey Bubba! Big Jim, Duke, Slim, and me went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

 

PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

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