spain Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She waited at the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane in a very slow fashion, she approached him for an interview. "I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?" "About 60 years" "60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship." "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?" "Like I'm talking to a f'n wall." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 ghost movie parody Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 A father walks into a market with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "No," the woman replied........... "Divorce Attorney". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 That's a good one rockn... I will have to send that on to a few friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 A father walks into a market with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "No," the woman replied........... "Divorce Attorney". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxfactor Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. He notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is interesting. It states that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill, what's yours?" Businessman replies, "Tonto Kowalski, nice to meet you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxfactor Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Did you hear Lorena Bobbit died in a car crash? Some dick cut her off. The Huddler women will love this one: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? Because their balls fall over their a-holes and they vapor-lock. How can you spot the blind guy at a nudist resort? It's not hard. A woman was very uptight that she had not had a date, let alone gotten laid, in a very long time. She was afraid there was something wrong with her so she goes to see a doctor. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, a noted sex therapist. So she did what she was told. As soon as she entered the exam room, Chang says, "OK, take off all your crose. Now get down and crawl reery fass to udder side of room." She complies. Now Chang says, "OK, now crawl reery fass to me." Again she complies. Chang shakes his hea slightly and says, " You probrem vewy bad. I afraid you have Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. That why you not have sex or dates." Petrified, te woman asks, "what's Zachary Disease?" "Dat when your face look Zachary like your ass." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. ”Who is it?”, call one of the nuns. “Blind man,” replies a voice from the other side of the door. Two nuns look at each other and shrug, and deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door. “Nice tits,” says the man, “where do you want these blinds?” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundaynfl Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 WHERE ARE ALL OF THE AMERICANS] A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!" The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East, I am not American!" He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says, "No, I am from Africa!" Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans? " The African lady checks her watch and says..."Probably at work." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. ”Who is it?”, call one of the nuns. “Blind man,” replies a voice from the other side of the door. Two nuns look at each other and shrug, and deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door. “Nice tits,” says the man, “where do you want these blinds?” A person who sells window coverings in our area.................. Checkout the URL.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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