Where to live when retired ?

[isleseeya]

Not sure if posted already ..some of it is quite funny imo

 

 

Where to live in retirement?

 

 

You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where....

 

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

 

2. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

 

3. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

 

4. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the

 

face when you open your oven door.

 

5. The 4 seasons are: warm, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING

 

ME??!!

 

 

 

 

 

You can Live in California where...

 

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

 

2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

 

3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

 

4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

 

5. When someone asks you how away far something is, you relate it in

 

minutes rather than miles.

 

6. The 4 seasons are: Fire Danger, Windy, Muddy, and Drought

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can Live in New York City where...

1. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from

 

Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

 

2. You think Central Park is "nature"

 

3. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own

 

language makes you multi-lingual.

 

4. You've worn out a car horn.

 

5. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

 

 

 

 

 

You can Live in Minnesota where...

 

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

 

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

 

3. You have more than one recipe for venison.

 

4. Sexy lingerie is anything made of flannel with less than eight

 

buttons.

 

5. The four seasons are: winter is coming, winter is here, winter

 

is almost gone and road construction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can Live in Arkansas where...

 

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

 

2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

 

3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

 

5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Ray, Jim Bob, Mary Sue,

 

Betty Jean, Bobbi Jo, etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can live in Colorado where...

 

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

 

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he

 

stops at the day care center to fetch him/her.

 

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

 

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can live in Iowa where...

 

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

 

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

 

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

 

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

 

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It

 

was different!"

 

 

 

 

 

AND You can live in Florida where..

 

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

 

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and

 

cars.

 

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

 

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

 

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

 

 

 

Wherever you go, there's no place like home.

[Big John]

You can Live in Arkansas where...

 

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

 

2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

 

3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

 

5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Ray, Jim Bob, Mary Sue,

 

Betty Jean, Bobbi Jo, etc.

#4 is missing, but could be found here in the "Deep South" section.

 

The missing item from the list is: After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"

[isleseeya]

thanks BJ

[PSULions]

 

[ABearWithFurniture]

Seems a more appropriate title for this is..."Where not to live in retirement."

[isleseeya]

Seems a more appropriate title for this is..."Where not to live in retirement."

 

true but cut and pasted from an email and i am too simple to figure these things out