alexgaddis Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK... I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggs A quart of orange juice A head of lettuce A 2 lb. can of coffee A 1 lb. package of bacon As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, ''You must be single.'' I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: ''Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?'' The drunk replied, ''Cause you're ugly.'' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh 0ne Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 :chuckle: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 6th time posted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted April 22, 2009 Author Share Posted April 22, 2009 6th time posted WOOOHOOOO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh 0ne Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 6th time posted I knew I shouldn't have taken him off ignore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTed46 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I knew I shouldn't have taken him off ignore. Taken who off of ignore? He must still be on mine since I can't see AG's post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted April 22, 2009 Author Share Posted April 22, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Sid lives in an assisted living community. He's walking around the community center. He approaches Estelle and asks "Can you guess how old I am?". Estelle has no idea. "I'm 84" he tells her. Sid walks up to Marjorie. "Marjorie, can you guess how old I am?". Marjorie says "I don't know. . .79?". "No, I'm 84." Sid sits down next to Claire and says "Guess how old I am". Claire reaches over and starts feeling around Sid's junk. After about 20 seconds she says "You're 84". Sid says "You could tell how old I am by touching my privates??" "No, I heard you tell Estelle" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loaf Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 loaf! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 True story: A friend of mine was in line at the convienence store and there was a college kid in frony of him. (Him telling it) "I knew this kid had his whole night planned out because he was buying a huge burrito, a 40oz of beer and one roll of toilet paper" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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