yo mama Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 (edited) A very frustrating Week 14 for ol' Yo Mama. The regular season ended in both my leagues. In my local I'm in second place at 9-5. (Seven teams - SEVEN - will likely have a 6-8 record in that league, pending the results of tonight's battle. That's so weird). I'm tied for first in my Huddle league with an 11-3 record. On the plus side, I won a side bet this week with a guy, and fellow Huddler, in my local. Since he won't make the playoffs that means I'm guaranteed to go farther than him this season, even if I lose in the first round. My prize: I get to name his team next year. We had the same bet last year and I won. So, for this year, I named his team "Brown Eye For The Queer Guy." (Doesn't that pop culture reference already seem horribly dated?) I'm already trying to think of stuff for him next year. On the minus side, I'll probably lose to a team on the bubble in my local. That means I'll lose a side bet and owe someone lunch. Not a big deal, as I like having lunch with this person. But I'm very frustrated to have let her in the playoffs, as she virtually abandoned her team three weeks ago. I'd have loved to have driven a spike through her team's heart, had her buy me lunch, then lectured her on why it's so important not to quit late in the season. Instead, now she'll be able to flaunt her playoff spot to me and I pick up the tab. That is, unless Chris Brown and Trent Green can each have monster games for me tonight. I need 43 points, thanks to a "certain someone's" crappy advice on starting Marcus Robinson and the Cardinals' DEF. Oh well, let's get back down to business. Drew Bledsoe – BUF: Hmmm. 100 passing yards, 1 TD, 1 fumble, 1 INT. Why don't these stats seem to fit into the Bills 37-7 winning box score? Miss. Maurice Morris – SEA: As an Alexander owner I picked him up. I was also encouraged by his 4.3+ ypc, though he only ran the ball three times. Still, as a handcuff pick, I'm forced to call this one "not applicable." Marcus Robinson – MIN: This guy burned my like a pyromaniac. 1 freakin' reception? You're dead to me, Robinson. Dead, I say. <paging T.J. Houshmandzadeh on the white courtesy phone...> Chris Cooley – WAS: no TD but 75 yards made Cooley an alright play. He's a modest hit. Jason Hanson – DET: two field goals and an extra point means Hanson contributed. He made every kick he was called to make. A modest hit, though I did expect more attempts. Maurice Hicks – SF: Oh happy day! Hicks delivered the goods and my Niners won. Big hit. UPDATE: HICKS HAS TAKEN THE STARTING JOB AWAY FROM BARLOW. ASSUMING SOME TORN CATILEGE IN HIS RIBS WON'T LIMIT HIM, THAT IS. T.J. Houshmandzadeh – CIN: He's en fuego right now. On the plus side, he got 12 receptions yesterday. On the minus side, he isn't doing punt returns anymore. Oh well, I'll be happy to take the production on regular offense. Dennis Northcutt – CLE: The Browns looked wretched last week. Luckily Northcutt scored, but he only got 6 receiving yards and 8 punt return yards. I'm honestly not sure how to grade this pick. I guess he's a small hit due to the TD, as he outperformed a lot of other WRs, fantasy-wise. But I expected more yardage. Jaguars’ DEF: As promised, I played the Jags' DEF in my Huddle league and they made me smile ear to ear. Easily one of the top 5 defensive plays for Week 14. Hit. Cardinals’ DEF: As promised, I played the Cardinals' DEF in my local. What a colossal disappointment. I was choking on my own rage yesterday watching this game. Huge miss, as I'd have won if I'd just been brave enough to play the Jags' DEF in both my leagues. Eh, at least my Niners won. Panthers’ DEF: Seeing as they outperformed the Jags' DEF, I'd call them a hit: two sacks, two INTs, four fumbles recovered, and they limited their opponents to 14 points. Sweet. Packers’ DEF: Tied for the 10th most fantasy points of all DEFs, I'll call this one a modest hit. Only two sacks, but they did limit the Lions to 13 points. The pisser here was that the weather was so bad you'd figure the Packers - in Green Bay - would have capitalized on the many poorly thrown Lion passes. Nope. Still, they contributed, and that's all I ask. Guys I Thought About Recommending But Opted Not To Carson Palmer – CIN: He played well before he got hurt; he was a top 10 QB fantasy-wise, so maybe I was wrong. We'll see how bad his injury is, though. If it keeps him out for an extended period, maybe I was right to recommend that you not pin your fantasy playoff hopes on him. Kerry Collins – OAK: I told you to show him the bench. I hoped you listened. Billy Volek – TEN: I TOLD YOU SO... Larry Johnson – KC: DITTO... Travis Minor – MIA: He didn't do squat, and he's back to splitting carries with Morris. I advised you to keep Minor on your bench (not that it took much convincing), but it looks like that's where he should stay. Tatum Bell – DEN: I said, "I’m not sold… yet." And right as I was about to eat some crow homeboy went off and got himself hurt. He'd have made a nice one-week start, but it doesn't look like he'll be anyone's playoff savior. Antonio Bryant – CLE: Ooooo: 37 yards. You'd have been better off with Northcutt. Doug Gabriel – OAK: 19 receiving yards. Bleck. Good thing I didn't recommend him. Though, query as to whether the Raiders' passing game will rebound. John Kasay – CAR: Okay, he did a little better than Hanson (1 extra, extra point) so I can't bash on Kasay. But I'm still not all that jazzed on him as a playoff solution. Okay, so here's how I did: - 3 misses (Bledsoe, Robinson, Arizona) - 1 not applicable (Morris); and - 8 hits. While the stat line looks great, it's deceptive because so many of the hits were modest. Still, the goal here is to find value; players who will contribute. And all the hits did so, relative to the other available options at their positions. The biggest nut-cruncher is that of the three misses, I started two of them and it cost me big time. If you were similarly hosed by the Cards or Robinson all I can say is (and in my best Clinton voice) "I feel your pain." Well, back to the drawing board for next week. And good luck to everyone one who needs production tonight. Trent Green, if you're listening, something in the neighborhood of 300 yards, 3 passing TDs, and no turnovers would be appricated. Chris Brown, think you can gut out 100 combined yards and 2 TDs? If you can, lunch is on me. Edited December 14, 2004 by yo mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msaint Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Not a big deal, as I like having lunch with this person. But I'm very frustrated to have let her in the playoffs, as she virtually abandoned her team three weeks ago. 608138[/snapback] Ahhh, the ol' "If you beat me I'll take you out to lunch, hottie co-worker" trick. I bet your staring lineup was: QB: Luke McCown RBs: Fred Lane, Corey Schlesinger WRs: Todd Pinkston, Rae Carruth TE: Boo Williams K: Martin Gramatica D/ST: Martin Van Buren High School Junior Varsity, Piscataway, NJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted December 13, 2004 Author Share Posted December 13, 2004 Ahhh, the ol' "If you beat me I'll take you out to lunch, hottie co-worker" trick. I bet your staring lineup was: QB: Luke McCown RBs: Fred Lane, Corey Schlesinger WRs: Todd Pinkston, Rae Carruth TE: Boo Williams K: Martin Gramatica D/ST: Martin Van Buren High School Junior Varsity, Piscataway, NJ 608175[/snapback] LOL! Hardly. Her husband, also a league member, is a well-armed good ol' boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinL Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 LOL! Hardly. Her husband, also a league member, is a well-armed good ol' boy. 608180[/snapback] Karl Malone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msaint Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Well, for your own safety, you'd better take her to the more discreet Motel 6 out on Route 75 instead of the Ramada near your office. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msaint Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Karl Malone? 608186[/snapback] Nah, he's only interested in Kobe's wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffian Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 (edited) Ahhh, the ol' "If you beat me I'll take you out to lunch, hottie co-worker" trick. I bet your staring lineup was: QB: Luke McCown RBs: Fred Lane, Corey Schlesinger WRs: Todd Pinkston, Rae Carruth TE: Boo Williams K: Martin Gramatica D/ST: Martin Van Buren High School Junior Varsity, Piscataway, NJ 608175[/snapback] Van Buren brings the heat. You should score some points there. Excellent work, YM. As always, good insight. Edited December 13, 2004 by Ruffian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hitman Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Nah, he's only interested in Kobe's wife. 608188[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted December 14, 2004 Author Share Posted December 14, 2004 Bump for updates on Maurice Hicks, who has been named the new starting RB for the 49ers, as well two quick "I told you so" comments on Volek and Larry Johnson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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