Big F'n Dave Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 2006 Texans Schedule Sept. 14........................Ball High School Sept. 21........................Cub Scout Troop #101 Dickinson Sept. 28........................Houston Blind Academy Oct. 5............................Spanish American War Veterans Oct. 12..........................Houston Crippled Children's Hospital Oct. 19..........................Montgomery County Mental Hospital Oct. 26..........................Girl Scout Troop #353 Nov. 2...........................Texas Veneral Disease Clinic Nov. 9...........................Sugarland Boys Choir Nov. 16..........................Korean War Amputees Special Monday Night Game Dec. 8............................Texas City Gay Boys Club **RULE CHANGES FROM LAST SEASON** When playing polio patients, the Texans must not disconnect knee braces. When playing the Blind Academy, the Texans must not hide the football under their spamshirts. **RULES THE SAME FROM LAST SEASON** The Texans will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times. The Texans will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time. The Texans will be awarded 10 timesouts as opposed to three for the opposing team. The Texans will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards instead of the usual 10. **NAME CHANGE** The Houston Texans will now be known as the Houston Tampons, since they are only good for one period and they have no second string. **COACHING CHANGE** Dom Capers will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She will no doubt blow a few, but she certainly won't choke on the big ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpholmes Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 (edited) Very similar post came up about two months ago for the Packers. Still funny though. Edited January 22, 2006 by kpholmes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziachild007 Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 Forgive me if I fail to find the humor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 Oct. 5............................Spanish American War Veterans Sweet! We get to see Skylive5 and Rockrobn take the field!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 So the Texans are looking at another 2 win season? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 Oct. 5............................Spanish American War Veterans Sweet! We get to see Skylive5 and Rockrobn take the field!!! 1281254[/snapback] And using old time plays I predict that SAWV wins with a shutout. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 And using old time plays I predict that SAWV wins with a shutout. 1281267[/snapback] Too bad Teddy Roosevelt wont be there to coach you guys this time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FredGSanford Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 Looks like it may finally be time to start printing those playoff tickets in Houston. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark5 Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 2006 Texans Schedule Sept. 14........................Ball High School Sept. 21........................Cub Scout Troop #101 Dickinson Sept. 28........................Houston Blind Academy Oct. 5............................Spanish American War Veterans Oct. 12..........................Houston Crippled Children's Hospital Oct. 19..........................Montgomery County Mental Hospital Oct. 26..........................Girl Scout Troop #353 Nov. 2...........................Texas Veneral Disease Clinic Nov. 9...........................Sugarland Boys Choir Nov. 16..........................Korean War Amputees Special Monday Night Game Dec. 8............................Texas City Gay Boys Club **RULE CHANGES FROM LAST SEASON** When playing polio patients, the Texans must not disconnect knee braces. When playing the Blind Academy, the Texans must not hide the football under their spamshirts. **RULES THE SAME FROM LAST SEASON** The Texans will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times. The Texans will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time. The Texans will be awarded 10 timesouts as opposed to three for the opposing team. The Texans will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards instead of the usual 10. **NAME CHANGE** The Houston Texans will now be known as the Houston Tampons, since they are only good for one period and they have no second string. **COACHING CHANGE** Dom Capers will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She will no doubt blow a few, but she certainly won't choke on the big ones. 1280728[/snapback] RESULTS: SEPT 14-- 3 Texans get busted for going after the oppsing cheerleaders, underage rules apply sept 28-- David Carr STILL gets sacked 5 times OCT 5-- Davis Carr gets sacked 5 times (I see a pattern developing) OCT 12-- Houston headlines "Texans lose AGAIN, The WHEELS are falling off" OCT 19-- Bobby Beusche SP? Leads Montgomery with 5 sacks and holding Reggie Bush to 8 total yards. WATER BOY leading defensive Player of the Year award. OCT 26-- trap game, unsportsman like conduct for piling on after every play, cookies are optional. NOV 2- Can't tell the teams apart and troop #353 has filed 7 lawsuits. NOV 9-- Carl Lewis is hired to sing the National Anthem AGAIN and fills in at RB to the TUNE of 233 yards rushing and 4 TDs. NOV 16-- KWA players show up in astroturf green uni's and confuse Houston O-LINE resulting in 5 sacks, 3 coming from players who dug trenches around the 20 yard line and sacked Carr from behind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunysteelfly76 Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 4-7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flip_Side Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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