AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

[cliaz]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

 

1.

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.

Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat

and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly

removed.

 

2.

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing

vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while

you chop away.

 

3.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the

toilet seat by simply using the sink.

 

4.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut

yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing

the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

 

5.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,

will prevent you from rolling over and going back to

sleep after you hit the snooze button.

 

6.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of

laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

 

7.

Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a

hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

 

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of

life really are:

 

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape

 

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

 

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

 

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

 

And finally, be really nice to your family and

friends; you never know when you might need them to

empty your bedpan.

[junebugz]

good info here

[Hugh 0ne]

AMAZINGLY  SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

 

3.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the

toilet seat by simply using the sink.

 

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That one's funny.

[Caveman_Nick]

8) If you're looking to commit suicide, dress up like a Viet Kong and jump out of bushes at a Navy Seal Vietnam Vet.

 

[The Irish Doggy]

AMAZINGLY  SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

 

3.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the

toilet seat by simply using the sink.

 

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"I take a whiskey drink.

I take a vodka drink.

And when I need to pee,

I use the kitchen sink!"

 

- Homer J.

[CowboysDiehard]

"I take a whiskey drink.

I take a vodka drink.

And when I need to pee,

I use the kitchen sink!"

 

                          - Homer J.

 

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Ha! Sigline material there!!!

 

 

On #1--how are you supposed to boil water before you choke to death?

[CowboysDiehard]

Oh...i get it...