kpholmes Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 (edited) Link Rain Wilson responded on Jay Leno with the following: My fellow Americans and select Canadians, My name is Dwight K. Schrute. Recently it was brought to my attention that a Presidential Candidate has selected me as his Vice President, or as I prefer to call it 'Assistant President of the United States.' I was not surprised by this information because I am the only suitable choice. As for Mr. Jonathan McCain, I will accept your offer old man, but before I do certain terms must be agreed upon. 1. I may pilot Air Force One whenever I want, and while doing so I'm only to be addressed as Ice Man. 2. Effective immediately, Jack Bauer is promoted to Secretary of Defense. 3. I demand full government financing of research programs into the beet as an alternative energy source. Beet juice is cheaper than gasoline and better tasting. 4. My bunker must contain a foos-ball table and be zombie proof. 5. Secret Service members are to be armed with nunchucks, throwing stars and flame throwers. 6. I would like a flame thrower. 7. I would like an Iron Man Outfit. 8. My current employer Michael Scott has asked to be Ambassador to Hawaii or Governor of Florida, or King of Tahede. Which ever. All of the above items are negotiable except the flame thrower. Basically if you give me a flame thrower I'm on board. In conclusion I will display complete loyalty to my President and America. At 3 AM when my phone rings in the White House, I won't even hear it. I'm a very sound sleeper. Vote Schrute. Dwight K. Schrute. Good stuff. Edited May 15, 2008 by kpholmes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Menudo Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 King of Tahede. I miss Yukon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 (edited) Here are your options: You can sell it for parts, drive it off a cliff, you can donate it to a person who you'd like to see die in a car crash, or you can sell it to me and I'll use it as I would a wagon on my farm. It will be towed by a donkey. -Dwight Edited May 15, 2008 by TimC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpholmes Posted May 15, 2008 Author Share Posted May 15, 2008 Dwight's Reply on Leno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 Dwight's Reply on Leno at the shoddy video camera and TV technology used for that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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