MustOfBeenDrunk Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 ONE I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning." He said, "No, just taking a SHAM WOW!." TWO When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me. THREE My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She looked at me and yelled, "You did this to me, you bastard!" I casually replied, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, 'That would hurt too much'." FOUR I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you." FIVE I was walking down the road and saw my Afghanistan neighbor Abdul standing on his fifth-floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's wrong, Abdul? Won't it start?" SIX My girlfriend and I were making love when she looked up at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. I never saw her again after that night. I guess we don't watch the same movies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I was expecting much cruder, but I enjoyed this one: FOUR I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wildcat2334 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 SIX My girlfriend and I were making love when she looked up at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. I never saw her again after that night. I guess we don't watch the same movies. good stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Well, #6 is new. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MustOfBeenDrunk Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 Well, #6 is new. Dang BJ ,, you had to go back 1-1/2 years for that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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