Cameltosis Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 "Do you have any baloons that blow up into funny shapes?" "Not unless circular's funny." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 Steve-O: We wanted to see if you would run! Ryan Dunn: I'm not running anywhere with a toy car shoved up my butt. Johnny Knoxville: [dazed, holding head after golf cart accident] I don't know what happened. I just remember we went in the air and the next thing I know, I'm just... f**ked. Bam Margera: Dude, you were hauling so much ass! Chris Pontius: [putting the "Muscle Stimulator" on a sensitive area] Right, let's zap my nuts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 (edited) Can't believe I haven't seen any "Meet the Parents" quotes. Probably my all-time favorite funniest line in a movie is when they're at the dinner table talking about milking cats and Stiller's character (Gaylord Fokker) says: "Oh ya, you can milk anything with a nipple." To which DeNiro's character, with contempt and sarcasm, replies: "I have nipples Greg.... Can you milk me?" Cracks me up. Edited August 8, 2007 by Cunning Runt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piratesownninjas Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 A few lines from the greatest movie ever made. Maude: What do you do for recreation? The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback. Walter: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. The Dude: Yeah, but Walter... Walter: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fing amateurs... Walter: I told those SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS !!!s down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos! Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter? Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 There's nothing like a shorn scrotum. . .it's breathtaking. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 Alright, since I got myself started. . . . Number Two: Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock markets? We could make trillions. Dr. Evil: Why make a trillion when we could make... billions? Scott: A trillion's more than a billion, numbnuts. Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something? Dr. Evil: How about, no, Scott? Okay? The President: C'mon, let me nuke that bastard. Commander Gilmour: Are you suggesting that we blow up the moon? The President: Would you miss it? [looks around the table] Would you miss it? Dr. Evil: Mini Me, if I ever lost you I don't know what I would do. [pauses] I'd probably move on, get another clone but there would be a 15 minute period there where I would just be inconsolable. Dr. Evil: Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to my underground Lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins, and yet, each of you has failed to kill Austin Powers. That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, and when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset people DIE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Plane Out Posted August 9, 2007 Share Posted August 9, 2007 Don't piss down my back and tell me it's rainin'- Outlaw Josey Wales Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoops5150 Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Uturn Claire: I love Patsy Cline, I wonder, how come she don't put out no new records? Sean: She's dead. Claire: Oh.......that's said. Don't that make you sad?? Sean: I've had time to get over it. (Enter Joaquin as Toby N. Tucker) Toby: I'm seein but I ain't believin. Mister, you tryin to make time with my girl? Sean: Make time with..............Is everyone in this town crazy? Toby: Mister, I'm calling you out!! Get up or I will beat you where you sit! Toby: The name's Toby N. Tucker, people round here call me TNT. You know why? Sean: They're not very imaginitive. Toby: No! Because I'm like dynamite boy, when I go off people get hurt! KILLS ME EVERYTIME I SEE IT!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Empress Nympho: Would you please step on the same foot at the same time?? MY TITS ARE FALLING OFF!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 "Money WON is twice as sweet as money EARNED" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 "Leave the gun...take the cannolis." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PantherDave Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 SCREEEEEEEEEECH Ya'll know me, know what I do for aliving....sharking. This shark, swallow you whole, and he aint going away neither. I'll catch for 10K, but I'll catch him and kill'em for 20K....................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Boy, you got a panty on your head. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 (edited) Classic Rodney from Caddyshack: "OOOOH, orange balls! I'll have a box of those, give me a box of those naked lady tees, give me six of those give me two of those...oh this is the worst looking hat I ever saw. What do you buy this hat and they give you a free bowl of soup. It looks good on you though!" "You're a lot of woman you know? How'd you like to make ten bucks the hard way?" "Hey Wang it's a parking lot...let's go already!" "You scratched my anchor!" "Hey everybody...we're all gonna get laid!!!" Edited August 11, 2007 by The Wolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted August 12, 2007 Share Posted August 12, 2007 (edited) "You're gonna eat lightning, and you're gonna crap thunder!" "What's your prediction for the fight?" "Prediction?" "Yes, prediction. . ." "PAIN" Edited August 12, 2007 by SheikYerbuti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted August 12, 2007 Share Posted August 12, 2007 Germany was having trouble, what a sad, sad story Needed a new leader to restore its former glory Where, Oh where was he? Where could that man be? We looked around and then we found The man for you and me. And now it's.. Springtime for Hitler and Germany Deutschland is happy and gay We're marching to a faster pace Look out, here comes the master race Springtime for Hitler and Germany Winter for Poland and France Springtime for Hitler and Germany Come on, Germans, go into your dance I was born in Dusseldorf, and that is why they call me Rolf Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi party Springtime for Hitler and Germany Goosestep's the new step today bombs falling from the skies again Deutschland is on the rise again Springtime for Hitler and Germany U-boats are sailing once more Springtime for Hitler and Germany Means that soon we'll be going We've got to be going You know we'll be going to war! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thews40 Posted August 12, 2007 Share Posted August 12, 2007 (edited) More Army of Darkness... Duke Henry: You're not one of my vassals... who are you? Ash: Who wants to know? Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples. Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shlt... and Jack just left town. Ash: Groovy. Note that anyone who ever played Duke Nukem' may not know he was based on Ash, and this game was one of the first to use the shotgun out in front (as seen by the vidoe game character). Doom and every other game followed ths. Ash: Clatto Verata N... Necktie... Nickel... It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word! Old Woman: I'll swallow your soul! Ash: Come get some. Ash: [voiceover] Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I *am* king. [Ash grabs girl close] Ash: Hail to the king, baby. [Ash kisses the girl] Ash: What are you? Are you me? Evil Ash: Whad are do? Are do be? HAHAHAHAHAH! You sound like a jerk! Ash: Why ya doin' this, huh? Evil Ash: Oh, you wanna know? 'Cause the answer's easy! I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! You're a goody little two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! [begins to sucker-punch Ash] Evil Ash: Goody little TWO-SHOES! Goody little TWO-SHOES! HEHEHEHEHE! [honk honk honk] Evil Ash: GOODY LITTLE TWO-SHOES! GOODY LITTLE... Ash: [cocks shotgun and points it under Evil Ash's nose] Ash: Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun [nods head and shoots him] Ash: I ain't that good. . Ash: Oh you little bastards! All right, I'll crush each and every last one of ya! I'll squash you so hard you'll have to look down to look up! Mini Ash: Hey dumba$! Ash: Maybe. Just maybe my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot. Ash: [as a soldier blocks his way, he pushes him aside] Get the fok out of my way! Edited August 12, 2007 by Thews40 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunder Chicken Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Can't believe no Ghostbusters: Winston: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES! ***************** Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. mass hysteria. ***************** Ray: I think we better split up. Venkman: Yeah... we can do more damage that way. ***************** Ray: Listen.................... do you smell something? ***************** Dana: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there. Peter: What a crime. ***************** Ray: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here. Mayor: Is this true? Peter: Yes it's true...............This man has no dick. ***************** Peter : I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers... FOUR FEET above her covers. She barks, she drools, she claws! John Wayne Quotes: True Grit: Rooster: Fill your hands, you SonofaBitch Mclintock: Somebody ought to belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't. The hell I won't." Rio Bravo: Sorry don't get it done, Dude She wore a yellow ribbon: Don't apologize—it's a sign of weakness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skilly Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Classic Eastwood. HEARTBREAK RIDGE Highway : "Say what?" Guy in prison : "You wanna pop that puppy's can, you don't gotta grease him so hard jar head." Highway : "Sounds like your a man of experience." Guy in prison : "What the f**k's that mean grunge sh*t?" Highway : "It means be advised -- that I'm mean, nasty, and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm. And I can put a round through a flea's ass at 200 meters. So you go hump somebody else's leg mutface before I push yours in!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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