MojoMan Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Huddlers, Let us say you have a houseguest. It could be a friend or a family member but, let's say it's a family member. It's kind of an usual situation but let's just say the person has no definite time when they will leave...kinda semi-retired. The person has a car though. The person is an adult in great health so this is not a visit to convelesce. I consider myself a good host so,if a friend or relative comes to visit, I bend over backwards, take them around, cook for them, take them out to dinner, do all the housecleaning, etc. Basically act like a B&B. After awhile, this innkeeper role gets old and expensive. I know that if I stayed with a friend or relative more than a few (like 3) days, I would definitely start contributing to the situation. Cook a few meals, buy a few meals. Do a little cleaning. Generally make myself useful. Do you agree that, at a certain point, the guest has a responsibility to act like a contributing member of the "household" instead of a guest? If so, at what point in the stay does that line get crossed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fingfootball Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 fish and house guests stink after 3 days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Huddlers, Let us say you have a houseguest. It could be a friend or a family member but, let's say it's a family member. It's kind of an usual situation but let's just say the person has no definite time when they will leave...kinda semi-retired. The person has a car though. The person is an adult in great health so this is not a visit to convelesce. I consider myself a good host so,if a friend or relative comes to visit, I bend over backwards, take them around, cook for them, take them out to dinner, do all the housecleaning, etc. Basically act like a B&B. After awhile, this innkeeper role gets old and expensive. I know that if I stayed with a friend or relative more than a few (like 3) days, I would definitely start contributing to the situation. Cook a few meals, buy a few meals. Do a little cleaning. Generally make myself useful. Do you agree that, at a certain point, the guest has a responsibility to act like a contributing member of the "household" instead of a guest? If so, at what point in the stay does that line get crossed. I think all situations are unique and it's hard to talk in generalities. That being said, after a few days, the guest should either offer to make dinner or take his/her host out for dinner. Cleaning is a given. You don't stay in someone's home and not clean up. Of course, any good house guest also offers oral gratification. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MojoMan Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 "Cleaning is a given." Does cleaning mean (figuratively) wiping up a few drops of pee if you miss a little or pulling out the vacuum cleaner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
untateve Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 "Cleaning is a given." Does cleaning mean (figuratively) wiping up a few drops of pee if you miss a little or pulling out the vacuum cleaner? I'm assuming if we're talking about a family member as a guest, there is a certain comfort level there. As such, grabbing the vaccuum cleaner or mop, taking out the garbage, doing dishes, etc. should start to take place--or at least be sincerely offered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randall Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 "Cleaning is a given." Does cleaning mean (figuratively) wiping up a few drops of pee if you miss a little or pulling out the vacuum cleaner? I think it depends on your relationship and definition of visiting but things above are just common courtesy. If it were me I would contribute some from the start or find out what the rules are by checking reactions. Everyone has a different definition of what visiting means. I usually offer to do dishes after a meal or ask if i can do anything to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riffraff Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 (edited) 3 days was the first thing to come to mind about house guests before reading the original post. If you are going out of state to visit someone, probably a week (unless it's a wedding, birth, or funeral, then as long as it takes). Maybe up to a month if it's a good friend or an inner relative. Time to get on their feet, learn the local area, and start pumping out resumes. Time to definitely help out on the chores between interviews. Vacation time is over. Edited March 29, 2008 by Riffraff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Does cleaning mean (figuratively) wiping up a few drops of pee if you miss a little or pulling out the vacuum cleaner? I don't care if the person stopped over for 5 minutes to say hello. . .if you miss the bowl in someone else's house, you take care of it. That's just rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Dude, pissin on your stuff? You need to get this straight now. Go pee all over them when they are sleeping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyBalata Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Has he been there long enough to change his name yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 fish and house guests stink after 3 days Sums it up neatly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 Dude, pissin on your stuff? You need to get this straight now. Go pee all over them when they are sleeping. +1? As for the question at hand. First off, I don't recall ever staying at somebody's place for any amount of time and not offering to at least buy them a meal (though in my case we usually spend one of the nights at the house cooking up a big dinner and getting trashed on wine). However, I certainly don't expect the same from anyone who visits for a few days or even perhaps a week. However, anyone who continues to allow you to wait on them and doesn't start acting like a contributing member of the house even in little ways after a week (especially if the length of stay is not defined) is extremely rude. At that point, I would have no problem saying something. Courtesy is a two way street. You owe your guests the courtesy of being a fine host but they owe you the courtesy of not being a freaking lazy ass and abusing your hospitality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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