millerx Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Okay. There is this neighborhood that came up with an interesting idea for Halloween this year. They decided that because the older kids were faster than the younger ones and could get to more houses and collect more candy, it wouldn't be fair to the younger kids. So they had ALL the kids meet at the neighborhood clubhouse after trick-or-treating. They then proceeded to pile all the collected candy into one big stash and redistribute it evenly to ALL the kids, making sure that everyone got a fair share. Is this a good idea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 I thought FOR SURE that this thread would be about this: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Okay. There is this neighborhood that came up with an interesting idea for Halloween this year. They decided that because the older kids were faster than the younger ones and could get to more houses and collect more candy, it wouldn't be fair to the younger kids. So they had ALL the kids meet at the neighborhood clubhouse after trick-or-treating. They then proceeded to pile all the collected candy into one big stash and redistribute it evenly to ALL the kids, making sure that everyone got a fair share. Is this a good idea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 (edited) Candy rots your brain, apparently. so does laziness and blaming your problems on others Edited November 3, 2008 by dmarc117 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Is this a cleverly disguised metaphor? I heard another story where the houses decided to only give candy to the fastest older kids, assuming that they would have so much candy that they'd share their bounty with the younger kids. Unfortunately they didn't. So all the younger kids egged the crap out of those houses in the election of 2008. Whoops. I slipped from my metaphor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 wait, i got one........ then the houses were forced to give the young stoopid kids candy in hopes that they would pay for it later. then they didnt cause they are lazy and dont want to work. so the candy market is now in a freefall. and its the bigger kids fault somehow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Is this a cleverly disguised metaphor? I heard another story where the houses decided to only give candy to the fastest older kids, assuming that they would have so much candy that they'd share their bounty with the younger kids. Unfortunately they didn't. So all the younger kids egged the crap out of those houses in the election of 2008. Whoops. I slipped from my metaphor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Is this a cleverly disguised metaphor? I heard another story where the houses decided to only give candy to the fastest older kids, assuming that they would have so much candy that they'd share their bounty with the younger kids. Unfortunately they didn't. So all the younger kids egged the crap out of those houses in the election of 2008. Whoops. I slipped from my metaphor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millerx Posted November 3, 2008 Author Share Posted November 3, 2008 (edited) Is this a cleverly disguised metaphor? I heard another story where the houses decided to only give candy to the fastest older kids, assuming that they would have so much candy that they'd share their bounty with the younger kids. Unfortunately they didn't. So all the younger kids egged the crap out of those houses in the election of 2008. Whoops. I slipped from my metaphor. Yes, I did hear of this one. This is the one where the younger kids just stopped even going to houses because they figured why even try when some authoritative power parents would do the work for them and take it from the older, faster kids. And of course, when it didn't happen and they didn't get the candy for doing nothing, they acted out like spoiled brats and vandalized. Edited November 3, 2008 by millerx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 (edited) Yes, I did hear of this one. This is the one where the younger kids just stopped even going to houses because they figured why even try when some authoritative power parents would do the work for them and take it from the older, faster kids. And of course, when it didn't happen and they didn't get the candy for doing nothing, they acted out like spoiled brats and vandalized. Yep, I heard that as well. Only, when someone actually bothered to look into it, they realized that in a neighborhood of about 100 kids, only about 5 or so actually didn't bother to go to the houses and all they were getting was crappy kandy korn anyway. None the less, by the way they carried on, you'd have thought it was something like half the kids were sitting on their asses and ending up with more candy than the older ones. Edited November 3, 2008 by detlef Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Yes, I did hear of this one. This is the one where the younger kids just stopped even going to houses because they figured why even try when some authoritative power parents would do the work for them and take it from the older, faster kids. And of course, when it didn't happen and they didn't get the candy for doing nothing, they acted out like spoiled brats and vandalized. Your metaphor is poorly crafted and lacks punch. If anyone is being a spoiled brat right now, it's the guys with their power being taken away right now. Have to agree here, Socialism! Muslim! Untested! Terrorist! Baby killer! WAaaaaaaaaahhhh give me back my candy!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Your metaphor is poorly crafted and lacks punch. If anyone is being a spoiled brat right now, it's the guys with their power being taken away right now. Have to agree here, Socialism! Muslim! Untested! Terrorist! Baby killer! WAaaaaaaaaahhhh give me back my candy!!!!! Fine form, fine form. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bird Dog Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 (\__/) (>'.'<) (")_(") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 I heard that there was this neighborhood where a Community Organizer came in and killed all of the kids that weren't dressed up as a tree-hugging, vegan, hippie, pinko, commie, liberal, socialist, marxist, leftist, atheist, muslim, redistributionist. Needless to say, all of the children died. But the kids were obviously redneck racists, and there was a lot of left over candy, so not everyone was sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 I heard that there was this neighborhood where a Community Organizer came in and killed all of the kids that weren't dressed up as a tree-hugging, vegan, hippie, pinko, commie, liberal, socialist, marxist, leftist, atheist, muslim, redistributionist. Needless to say, all of the children died. But the kids were obviously redneck racists, and there was a lot of left over candy, so not everyone was sad. Don't tease me. Where is this nirvana you speak of? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Don't tease me. Where is this nirvana you speak of? Um... the Moon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 I heard that there was this neighborhood where a Community Organizer came in and killed all of the kids that weren't dressed up as a tree-hugging, vegan, hippie, pinko, commie, liberal, socialist, marxist, leftist, atheist, muslim, redistributionist. Needless to say, all of the children died. But the kids were obviously redneck racists, and there was a lot of left over candy, so not everyone was sad. Listen, children, to a story That was written long ago 'Bout a kingdom on a mountain And the valley folk below On the mountain was a treasure Buried deep beneath a stone And the valley people swore They'd have it for their very own Go ahead and hate your neighbor Go ahead and cheat a friend Do it in the name of Heaven You can justify it in the end There won't be any trumpets blowing Come the judgment day On the bloody morning after who... One tin soldier rides away So, the people of the valley Sent a message up the hill Asking for the buried treasure, Tons of gold for which they'd kill Came an answer from the kingdom, "With our brothers, we will share All the secrets of our mountain, All the riches buried there" Now, the valley cried with anger, "Mount your horses, draw your sword!" And they killed the mountain people So, they won their just reward Now, they stood beside the treasure On the mountain dark and red Turn the stone and looks beneath it... "Peace on Earth" was all it said Go ahead and hate your neighbor Go ahead and cheat a friend Do it in the name of Heaven You can justify it in the end There won't be any trumpets blowing Come the judgment day On the bloody morning after who... One tin soldier rides away Go ahead and hate your neighbor Go ahead and cheat a friend Do it in the name of Heaven You can justify it in the end There won't be any trumpets blowing Come the judgment day On the bloody morning after who... One tin soldier rides away Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Then some of the kids decided to pick a poorly spoken bald one from among the group named Joe to speak on their behalf and explain why spreading the candy around was such a bad idea. So Joe starts going on and on about how dividing up the candy is socialism and basically welfare. Then it is discovered that Joe himself once actually got candy for free from the other kids when he and his parents were down on their luck. Only now he's pissed because he may someday have to help out others. So, it seems Joe is pretty much a dork, but he got a record deal so I suppose that's cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pope Flick Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 This captures the hysteria much better: I am Governor Jerry Brown My aura smiles And never frowns Soon I will be president Carter power will soon go away I will be Fuhrer one day I will command all of you Your kids will meditate in school California Uber Alles Uber Alles California Zen fascists will control you 100% natural You will jog for the master race And always wear the happy face Close your eyes, can't happen here Big Bro' on white horse is near The hippies won't come back you say Mellow out or you will pay! Mellow out or you will pay!! California Uber Alles Uber Alles California Now it is 1984 Knock knock at your front door It's the suede/denim secret police They have come for your uncool neice Come quitely to the camp You'd look nice as a drawstring lamp Don't you worry, it's only a shower For your clothes here's a pretty flower Die on organic poison gas Serpent's egg's already hatched You will crack, you little clown When you mess with President Brown California Uber Alles Uber Alles California Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Um... the Moon. "It's the moon man, it's like... deserted. Ain't nothing up there. It's like f%&*ing Kansas!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 This captures the hysteria much better: I am Governor Jerry Brown My aura smiles And never frowns Soon I will be president Carter power will soon go away I will be Fuhrer one day I will command all of you Your kids will meditate in school California Uber Alles Uber Alles California Zen fascists will control you 100% natural You will jog for the master race And always wear the happy face Close your eyes, can't happen here Big Bro' on white horse is near The hippies won't come back you say Mellow out or you will pay! Mellow out or you will pay!! California Uber Alles Uber Alles California Now it is 1984 Knock knock at your front door It's the suede/denim secret police They have come for your uncool neice Come quitely to the camp You'd look nice as a drawstring lamp Don't you worry, it's only a shower For your clothes here's a pretty flower Die on organic poison gas Serpent's egg's already hatched You will crack, you little clown When you mess with President Brown California Uber Alles Uber Alles California Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 California Uber Alles Come gather 'round people Wherever you roam And admit that the waters Around you have grown And accept it that soon You'll be drenched to the bone. If your time to you Is worth savin' Then you better start swimmin' Or you'll sink like a stone For the times they are a-changin'. Come writers and critics Who prophesize with your pen And keep your eyes wide The chance won't come again And don't speak too soon For the wheel's still in spin And there's no tellin' who That it's namin'. For the loser now Will be later to win For the times they are a-changin'. Come senators, congressmen Please heed the call Don't stand in the doorway Don't block up the hall For he that gets hurt Will be he who has stalled There's a battle outside And it is ragin'. It'll soon shake your windows And rattle your walls For the times they are a-changin'. Come mothers and fathers Throughout the land And don't criticize What you can't understand Your sons and your daughters Are beyond your command Your old road is Rapidly agin'. Please get out of the new one If you can't lend your hand For the times they are a-changin'. The line it is drawn The curse it is cast The slow one now Will later be fast As the present now Will later be past The order is Rapidly fadin'. And the first one now Will later be last For the times they are a-changin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 Listen, children, to a storyThat was written long ago 'Bout a kingdom on a mountain And the valley folk below On the mountain was a treasure Buried deep beneath a stone And the valley people swore They'd have it for their very own Go ahead and hate your neighbor Go ahead and cheat a friend Do it in the name of Heaven You can justify it in the end There won't be any trumpets blowing Come the judgment day On the bloody morning after who... One tin soldier rides away So, the people of the valley Sent a message up the hill Asking for the buried treasure, Tons of gold for which they'd kill Came an answer from the kingdom, "With our brothers, we will share All the secrets of our mountain, All the riches buried there" Now, the valley cried with anger, "Mount your horses, draw your sword!" And they killed the mountain people So, they won their just reward Now, they stood beside the treasure On the mountain dark and red Turn the stone and looks beneath it... "Peace on Earth" was all it said Go ahead and hate your neighbor Go ahead and cheat a friend Do it in the name of Heaven You can justify it in the end There won't be any trumpets blowing Come the judgment day On the bloody morning after who... One tin soldier rides away Go ahead and hate your neighbor Go ahead and cheat a friend Do it in the name of Heaven You can justify it in the end There won't be any trumpets blowing Come the judgment day On the bloody morning after who... One tin soldier rides away Love this tune Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DemonKnight Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 "It's the moon man, it's like... deserted. Ain't nothing up there. It's like f%&*ing Kansas!" "People, we have a chance to make change. Okay, if we can put a man on the moon, We can put a man with Aids on the moon. And then someday, We can put everyone with Aids on the moon." Sarah Silverman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millerx Posted November 4, 2008 Author Share Posted November 4, 2008 "People, we have a chance to make change.Okay, if we can put a man on the moon, We can put a man with Aids on the moon. And then someday, We can put everyone with Aids on the moon." Sarah Silverman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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