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Old School Rudolph


isleseeya
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Not a big "Christmas" guy but this and the Grinch (the original, with Boris Karloff narrating) are two Christmas specials that shouldn't be qualified under the "Christmas" banner, they're just flat-out GOOD.

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In the Old School Rudolph, explain to me why Santa is not a racist?

 

Let's see, Rudolph flies better than the rest of the other bucks and Santa thinks that impressive. Suddenly, Santa discovers that Rudolph has a red nose and he tells Santa's father (Donner, I believe) that he should be ashamed. Santa, who sets policy at the North Pole, allows Rudolph to be excluded from all the reindeer games simply because he has a red nose. He allows all of the other reindeer to taunt Rudolph and call him derogatory names simply because he was born with a red nose. Only Clarice is nice to Rudolph (A little known fact--Clarice is into the bizarre and the kinky when it comes to sexual relations)

 

Then, there is a huge blizzard. Santa decides he will have to cancel Christmas. Hey, did anyone tell Santa that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of our Lord and I'm pretty sure that a fat elf has no say in whether Christmas is canceled? Quite by accident, Rudolph's nose goes off, illuminating the entire area and apparently also illuminating Santa's exploitative powers. He convinces Rudolph that it was all just a big misunderstanding and Santa really loves that nose of Rudolph's. If I was Rudolph, I'd have led that sleigh right into a mountain.

 

And here's something else to consider--We all know that Santa comes down the chimney when he delivers toys. Yet, at the end of Rudolph, we see an elf handing an umbrella to the Misfit Toys and throwing them over the side as they supposedly float gently down to a waiting child's arms. I assert that Santa was over the ocean and in his mind, he had found a perfect home for those fn misfits!

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In the Old School Rudolph, explain to me why Santa is not a racist?

 

Let's see, Rudolph flies better than the rest of the other bucks and Santa thinks that impressive. Suddenly, Santa discovers that Rudolph has a red nose and he tells Santa's father (Donner, I believe) that he should be ashamed. Santa, who sets policy at the North Pole, allows Rudolph to be excluded from all the reindeer games simply because he has a red nose. He allows all of the other reindeer to taunt Rudolph and call him derogatory names simply because he was born with a red nose. Only Clarice is nice to Rudolph (A little known fact--Clarice is into the bizarre and the kinky when it comes to sexual relations)

 

Then, there is a huge blizzard. Santa decides he will have to cancel Christmas. Hey, did anyone tell Santa that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of our Lord and I'm pretty sure that a fat elf has no say in whether Christmas is canceled? Quite by accident, Rudolph's nose goes off, illuminating the entire area and apparently also illuminating Santa's exploitative powers. He convinces Rudolph that it was all just a big misunderstanding and Santa really loves that nose of Rudolph's. If I was Rudolph, I'd have led that sleigh right into a mountain.

 

And here's something else to consider--We all know that Santa comes down the chimney when he delivers toys. Yet, at the end of Rudolph, we see an elf handing an umbrella to the Misfit Toys and throwing them over the side as they supposedly float gently down to a waiting child's arms. I assert that Santa was over the ocean and in his mind, he had found a perfect home for those fn misfits!

 

I think you need a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Future.

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