SayItAintSoJoe Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Seven years ago my wife and I moved to South Carolina (near Myrtle Beach). Her immediate family moved down here as well. This grand plan to move was my idea, and I sold everyone on it. Fast forward 7 years, and I'm stuck living in an area that I hate. The 2 main things (there are a lot more) I hate about it are: Public school system stinks and private schools are basically made up of classes of 6 to 10 kids in the backroom of a church. Three times this year I had to go to my oldest boy's (public) school and ask for more homework. My wife's niece who has been in the public school system here for the last 7 years is a high school senior and barely knows how to spell. High crime. Unlike Michigan where you could move the family into a nice community, here there is no such thing. What you have is nice sub-divisions like the one where I currently live. It's a golf course sub-division with nice homes and neatly manicured lawns. Leave the sub-division and right outside it's a totally different story. There's a gas station right down the road from the entrance to where I live that when I go there at night I feel like I'm right back in "the hood", which is where I grew up. You basically have to look over your shoulder while pumping gas to make sure that no one's coming up to mug you. Last week a house down the street from mine was broken into by burglars in the middle of the day. Even though my wife has also come to realize this about the area she refuses to even discuss moving away from her family. I have 3 great kids that mean everything to me so I'm not going anywhere without them. It's an impossible situation. I feel trapped and like I'm not providing my kids with the best possible upbringing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmarc117 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 she wont discuss a move and you wont move away from your kids. yea, sounds like your trapped. try to make the best of it. maybe she will come around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Make your kids smart. Don't leave it up to the school system. Push them after school and on weekends, and bond with them in the process. It's a win/win for both of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayItAintSoJoe Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Make your kids smart. Don't leave it up to the school system. Push them after school and on weekends, and bond with them in the process. It's a win/win for both of you. You're right! Often times if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10g_DBA Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Make your kids smart. Don't leave it up to the school system. Push them after school and on weekends, and bond with them in the process. It's a win/win for both of you. 1. Put the kids in private school. 2. Buy a gun. What other problems may I solve for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayItAintSoJoe Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 1. Put the kids in private school.2. Buy a gun. What other problems may I solve for you? Balding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10g_DBA Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Balding Rogaine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Make your kids smart. Don't leave it up to the school system. Push them after school and on weekends, and bond with them in the process. It's a win/win for both of you. +1. While the situation doesn't sound optimal, it's not like you live in Haiti or Rwanda. Most studies indicate that the single greatest factor in having great kids is having involved parents. You can do that wherever you live. So if you can't live in a better zip code, then redouble your efforts at being the best father you can. If that means you supplement their education with home schooling-type efforts then do so. Maybe you or the Mrs. needs to get more involved in your kids' classrooms. Spend some cash on killer summer school programs that expose them to more enlightened topics. Long story short, perhaps moving would be a preferable solution... but that's not to say its the only means you have at your disposable to give your kids the best opportunities you can. As far as the crime nearby, that sucks: no way around it. But on the flip side I'm confident that isolating your kids from reality is ideal, either. Our children are going to be out in the real world sooner than we think, and having some street smarts isn't such a bad thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpwallace49 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Is hiring a private tutor an option? Or maybe boarding school? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayItAintSoJoe Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Is hiring a private tutor an option? Or maybe boarding school? I haven't looked into hiring a private tutor. I guess my next move is going to be looking into the private schools around here. I really want this to be the last year of public education. I'm hoping that the private schools are better. If nothing else they should be safer. If we find that they do not meet our needs from an educational standpoint then we will start to look at ways of supplementing our children's education. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt770 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Seven years ago my wife and I moved to South Carolina (near Myrtle Beach). Her immediate family moved down here as well. This grand plan to move was my idea, and I sold everyone on it. Fast forward 7 years, and I'm stuck living in an area that I hate. The 2 main things (there are a lot more) I hate about it are: Public school system stinks and private schools are basically made up of classes of 6 to 10 kids in the backroom of a church. Three times this year I had to go to my oldest boy's (public) school and ask for more homework. My wife's niece who has been in the public school system here for the last 7 years is a high school senior and barely knows how to spell. High crime. Unlike Michigan where you could move the family into a nice community, here there is no such thing. What you have is nice sub-divisions like the one where I currently live. It's a golf course sub-division with nice homes and neatly manicured lawns. Leave the sub-division and right outside it's a totally different story. There's a gas station right down the road from the entrance to where I live that when I go there at night I feel like I'm right back in "the hood", which is where I grew up. You basically have to look over your shoulder while pumping gas to make sure that no one's coming up to mug you. Last week a house down the street from mine was broken into by burglars in the middle of the day. Even though my wife has also come to realize this about the area she refuses to even discuss moving away from her family. I have 3 great kids that mean everything to me so I'm not going anywhere without them. It's an impossible situation. I feel trapped and like I'm not providing my kids with the best possible upbringing. You are not alone. My solution has been to immerse myself in hobbies/projects, and my wife and I spend a lot of weekends out of town with family & friends. Recently we redid our basement -- new coat of paint, sectional sofa, big TV, PS3. My wife and I go down there and escape with Rock Band for a few hours, her on drums, me on guitar. I've also started up my old aquarium again and have gotten lost in that for hours on end. Focusing on my surroundings and getting angry was not constructive at all, to say the least. Making our home as comfortable as possible and trying to ignore the idiots around us has worked pretty well. The fact that I have come to accept living here is depressing in a way, but also freeing in another. And we know we will get out of here some day. The irony is that like you, it was my idea to leave Atlanta and move closer to both of our families. Not doing better research on this area has been the biggest mistake of my life, as the housing crash has us trapped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayItAintSoJoe Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Not doing better research on this area has been the biggest mistake of my life..... Matt, you said it all in a nutshell. My research before moving to the Myrtle Beach area was based mostly on the summers we spent here on vacation. Vacationing somewhere and living somewhere are two totally different things. If I would have done some real research I would have never moved. Thanks for the great advice on how to learn to live with my decision rather than just regret it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Moving is always a shot in the dark to an extent unless you're going somewhere you're very familiar with. Research will get you so far but things change over time too. Neighborhoods and neighbors come and go.....the trick is to do like Matt and focus on yourselves because there is little you can do to change the other stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 there are good schools near any place people are willing to pay for them. I assume that applies even to south carolina. sometimes you just have to work harder to find them. as far as the other reasons you hate the place... sounds like you're stuck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moneymakers Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Hey at least the cigerettes are cheap. winter not near as cold as Michigan. Life to short to be trapped just move u can always move back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 It's been pointed out that the lack of education you can supplement with learning at home, tutors, private education, etc. The security of your neighborhood though is another issue altogether. If you are on the edge of the hood, then you might have to take some extra precautions for your family. Do you have a home alarm/security system? Might be a good investment. And while it may have been in jest, the earlier suggestion of a firearm is probably not a bad idea either. Do you have a coop or neighborhood association or anything like that which you belong to? If so, you should attend the next meeting and bring up the subject of increasing security in your neighborhood (even if you all have to fund a private watch or something like that). If you don't have an association, then maybe send out some flyers and ask to have a meeting with your neighbors to discuss it. You might be surprised at the positive response you'll get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pig devilz Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 hire somebody from the hood to break in to your house when nobody's home. might scare the wife all the way back to Mich..... ps....you already got all the GOOD advice I would have mentioned. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaman Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Really Good Advice already given. I just looked up the crime rate for Myrtle Beach at city-data , you are not kidding. Sorry about that. Would Charleston, SC or Savannah, GA be off the table for the Mrs? Savannah is still a manageable 4 hrs away and you'll cut the crime rate by 66%. Just a thought. Good Luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 With all due respect I think in light of, in your words, "High Crime" and an education system that you arent happy with for your children, id be a little pissed at the Mrs. for staunchly choosing staying near her family over what is best for yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoopazz Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Whomper's right. The kids come first and your wife is being unreasonable. How about the wilmington area? Couple hours away and NC public schools are pretty good. Myrtle Beach is a poopy hole. Move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayItAintSoJoe Posted February 2, 2010 Author Share Posted February 2, 2010 Whomper's right. The kids come first and your wife is being unreasonable. How about the wilmington area? Couple hours away and NC public schools are pretty good. Myrtle Beach is a poopy hole. Move. I can see where you and Whomper are coming from. Believe me I feel the same way. However one thing I haven’t stressed enough that is definitely part of the equation is how great my wife’s family is. We spend a lot of time together and they are such a big part of my children’s lives. The mother-in-law babysits our youngest child while my wife and I work. The whole family attends birthdays, sporting events, graduations, etc. As a parent it’s a great feeling when you are around other people who really love your kids. One of my wife’s favorite things to do (and mine too I must admit) is to just go over to her mom’s house and sit around and talk. We have a lot of laughs. If we move I’m afraid that it will leave a huge void in a lot of people’s lives. I appreciate the advice I’m getting here. I especially like the idea of moving somewhere that is still close enough to her family to allow for frequent visits. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I can see where you and Whomper are coming from. Believe me I feel the same way. However one thing I haven’t stressed enough that is definitely part of the equation is how great my wife’s family is. We spend a lot of time together and they are such a big part of my children’s lives. The mother-in-law babysits our youngest child while my wife and I work. The whole family attends birthdays, sporting events, graduations, etc. As a parent it’s a great feeling when you are around other people who really love your kids. One of my wife’s favorite things to do (and mine too I must admit) is to just go over to her mom’s house and sit around and talk. We have a lot of laughs. If we move I’m afraid that it will leave a huge void in a lot of people’s lives. I appreciate the advice I’m getting here. I especially like the idea of moving somewhere that is still close enough to her family to allow for frequent visits. Thanks! More complex than it first appeared. Once the kids are old enough to not need sitting, might want to move then. Until that time, at least you have a nice safety net of people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Hey Joe, Perhaps this will cheer you up: http://www.woodtv.com/dpp/news/local/kent_...or-announcement Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpwallace49 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Why does your wife's family put up with the crime rate and area? Is it possible to encourage a mass migration? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayItAintSoJoe Posted February 2, 2010 Author Share Posted February 2, 2010 Why does your wife's family put up with the crime rate and area? Is it possible to encourage a mass migration? My wife's mother and step-father love it here. They are both retired. They are both part of the neighborhood social scene. They are constantly going out with friends, attending parties, and the step-dad plays golf 3 times a week. It's not a bad area for retirees. They don't have to worry about raising kids here and the sub-division keeps them fairly isolated from the outside. Though I must tell you that they had their garage broken into about 3 years ago. Either way, it's not enough to make them want to leave. They're old and it was quite a big deal to get them to move down here. Trying to convince them to pack up and move again at this stage of their lives would be next to impossible. I could probably convince my wife's sister to move after the school year, but only if her mother were to agree to move, which she won't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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