buddahj Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last... P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a monkey pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from monkey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 An oldie but a goodie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLAYER Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 Thanks I needed that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorcher Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 That was really funny-----Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donutrun Jellies Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 OMG ... that really hit the spot ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 P: Number 3 engine missing.S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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