Commitment in youth sports

[Ziachild007]

So, some of you know that I have gotten pretty involved over the past couple of years in coaching my kids soccer teams. I currently coach all four (U9, U6, & U5, but the youngest girls are only a year apart so play on the same team). My oldest daughter's team has played for standings the past two years and has finished pretty well every season (6 points out of first last season). I never played soccer, but have put a lot of time into learning so I am sure to teach them the right things going forward. We have a pretty good team that returned 12 of 13 players from last season. I feel pretty good about this because that means that the parents and kids are happy enough with what I am doing that they have not asked to be re-pooled to a new team when given the chance.

 

Until this season we have not really had a problem with attendance at practice or games. There was one girl that came out, didn't enjoy it and stopped showing up. I also had one girl that had some issues last season, but after talking to the parents it was all resolved and she made all of the practices for the rest of the season. We practice two days a week (Monday and Friday) and I have always been pretty laid back as long as they tried their best to make at least one. But this year we are having a lot of girls missing. There was one death in the family and one case of a girl being sick, but most of the rest of absences have been due to the girls participating in other activities. I think it is great that kids try different things growing up, but also feel that if they make a commitment to one thing they should follow through with that obligation first before taking on other activities. I have always told my own kids they didn't have to play soccer, but must finish the current season and give 100% commitment until the season was done.

 

Our association requires all players to play at least 50% of the game, unless there is any sort of disciplinary action:

 

2.6.4 Playing Time per Player

*We conform to NTSSA 3.14.3.3

“Each recreational player, when present at a game, shall be required to play the minimum of 50% of the time, unless the player’s time has been reduced for medical or disciplinary reasons, in which case the coach must notify the player, and the opposing coach prior to the beginning of the game that the minimum time has been reduced (non-attendance at practice and non-payment of fees may cause for disciplinary action.)

 

So now, I am just trying to decide what if anything should be done to those not making practices. On one hand I think, yes it's rec soccer so I shouldn't be so hard on them. But in the other hand I thing that this is a good opportunity to teach them about responsibility, commitment and consequences.

 

I am thinking of writing up a letter to have the parents and player sign that shows the above bylaw and states the following for practice/playing time.

 

0 practices - Player will play no more than 25% of the upcoming game.

1 practice - Player will play at least 50% of the upcoming game.

2 practices - Player will play 50% or more of the upcoming game.

 

Is this too harsh or not harsh enough? Opinions or ideas welcome!

[untateve]

You will find in rec soccer, that you will have seasons where your teams are stronger and more committed and seasons where you look forward to it being over.

 

I will bet a large part of the reason the kids aren't at practice has to do with the parents. I have also coached in leagues where the kids must play 50%. In those leagues, the kids who come to practice start both halves and get more of the available playing time.

[Perchoutofwater]

Billy, my daughter plays U10 on a very, very good team. They are the hands down favorite to win the league, and honestly it would be a disappointment if they lose a game. Last year we played up, and came in second place, beating the first place team but losing out on points by one point. We also played up in every tournament we played in and won every one. We lost one game the entire season, which cost us the league championship. Our coach is very hardcore, and demands commitment from the girls an the parents. Most of the other coaches do not like our coach, and most people that don't know him or the team would think he is an Adam's Apple, but he is a great coach and just wants to get the most out of the girls. The only time my daughter misses practice is if she is sick or we are out of town. There have been times when we have gone out of town, but have left her with the coach so she would not miss a game. We have one or two players on our team that miss more than the others, and their playing time and skill level reflects that. I think you are being too easy on those that miss one practice. I'd revise what you are doing to read the following:

 

0 practices - Player will play no more than 25% of the upcoming game.

1 practice - Player will play more than 25% of the upcoming game, but no more than 50% unless he/she is needed to rest a player or fill in for an injured player.

2 practices - Player will play 50% or more of the upcoming game.

 

I also think I'd put in something to the affect that obviously there may be extenuating circumstances where missing a practice will be forgiven such as a death in the family or a legitimate illness, but that is up to your discretion based on the circumstance and the player's history of attending practice.

[Ziachild007]

Billy, my daughter plays U10 on a very, very good team. They are the hands down favorite to win the league, and honestly it would be a disappointment if they lose a game. Last year we played up, and came in second place, beating the first place team but losing out on points by one point. We also played up in every tournament we played in and won every one. We lost one game the entire season, which cost us the league championship. Our coach is very hardcore, and demands commitment from the girls an the parents. Most of the other coaches do not like our coach, and most people that don't know him or the team would think he is an Adam's Apple, but he is a great coach and just wants to get the most out of the girls. The only time my daughter misses practice is if she is sick or we are out of town. There have been times when we have gone out of town, but have left her with the coach so she would not miss a game. We have one or two players on our team that miss more than the others, and their playing time and skill level reflects that. I think you are being too easy on those that miss one practice. I'd revise what you are doing to read the following:

 

0 practices - Player will play no more than 25% of the upcoming game.

1 practice - Player will play more than 25% of the upcoming game, but no more than 50% unless he/she is needed to rest a player or fill in for an injured player.

2 practices - Player will play 50% or more of the upcoming game.

 

I also think I'd put in something to the affect that obviously there may be extenuating circumstances where missing a practice will be forgiven such as a death in the family or a legitimate illness, but that is up to your discretion based on the circumstance and the player's history of attending practice.

 

I know your coach and I too think he is not a very sporting fella.

[Perchoutofwater]

I know your coach and I too think he is not a very sporting fella.

 

 

Honestly the first year we played for him, had we not viewed soccer as a commitment, we probably would have pulled our daughter off the team after the first game or two. Then we realized that he is just loud and animated, it's his personality and while if you don't know him it may seem as though he is being too rough on the girls, he is just trying to be heard over the screams from the sidelines. There is only one time I've seen him be what I considered too hard on a player, and that was his own daughter. He is a great teacher and makes the practices a lot of fun, but he expects the girls to play up to their potential. I've never seen him get upset when a players gets beat because of an athletic mismatch, but he will get upset if a player is loafing, and not giving it her all. He's really a good guy, and I don't know anyone I'd rather have coaching my daughter. He's just very animated, excitable, and loud, but you won't find anyone willing to do more for the kids on his team.

[dmarc117]

i coached my son in tball this year. i told people that i wouldnt enforce the rules as they were written, our team would have some leeway. of course, people took advantage of that. so next year, it will be by the book.

[Ziachild007]

Honestly the first year we played for him, had we not viewed soccer as a commitment, we probably would have pulled our daughter off the team after the first game or two. Then we realized that he is just loud and animated, it's his personality and while if you don't know him it may seem as though he is being too rough on the girls, he is just trying to be heard over the screams from the sidelines. There is only one time I've seen him be what I considered too hard on a player, and that was his own daughter. He is a great teacher and makes the practices a lot of fun, but he expects the girls to play up to their potential. I've never seen him get upset when a players gets beat because of an athletic mismatch, but he will get upset if a player is loafing, and not giving it her all. He's really a good guy, and I don't know anyone I'd rather have coaching my daughter. He's just very animated, excitable, and loud, but you won't find anyone willing to do more for the kids on his team.

 

That could very well be the case, but IMO he has no consideration for other teams/coaches. The first time we played y'all both teams were wearing red. Home team (which was your daughter's team) was responsible for changing uniforms or wearing practice spamshirts. I went to him and asked him if his team has other uniforms or practice spamshirts. He told me no, that he didn't keep any. I told him I had some I could get for him. So I walked over to my bag across the field and came back with my practice spamshirts in hand, only to find his team had already put on practice vests. So I asked him, "Did you find some scrimmage vests?" His reply......"Yeah I already had some some in my bag, I was just waiting to see if I waited long enough if you would change your team's."

 

Last time we played he kept trying to pound in goals already up 9-0 with about a minute left in the game.

 

Our team is not the only one here he has done that too, so I think that speaks volumes about his personality.........not necessarily his game demeanor.

[Ziachild007]

i coached my son in tball this year. i told people that i wouldnt enforce the rules as they were written, our team would have some leeway. of course, people took advantage of that. so next year, it will be by the book.

 

I think this is exactly what has happened to me. I try to be freindly with all of the parents and players and I think it's come back to bite me in the ass because I don't have their respect now.

[Perchoutofwater]

That could very well be the case, but IMO he has no consideration for other teams/coaches. The first time we played y'all both teams were wearing red. Home team (which was your daughter's team) was responsible for changing uniforms or wearing practice spamshirts. I went to him and asked him if his team has other uniforms or practice spamshirts. He told me no, that he didn't keep any. I told him I had some I could get for him. So I walked over to my bag across the field and came back with my practice spamshirts in hand, only to find his team had already put on practice vests. So I asked him, "Did you find some scrimmage vests?" His reply......"Yeah I already had some some in my bag, I was just waiting to see if I waited long enough if you would change your team's."

 

Last time we played he kept trying to pound in goals already up 9-0 with about a minute left in the game.

 

Our team is not the only one here he has done that too, so I think that speaks volumes about his personality.........not necessarily his game demeanor.

 

The thing with the jersey's is a prick move, that I was unaware of. I've only seen him intentionally run the score up one time, and that was because the opposing coach was a total ass and was bad mouthing our kids. It was another Tyler team. Once we get up by 4 he starts moving people around out of position. We only have two subs, three if we have a guest player, so it isn't like we can sub out all the good players, as most of our team is pretty good. It is hard for him, and us as parents as well not to get excited when a player scores, particularly a player that usually plays fullback or goalie.

[driveby]

Could you guys just go hash this out over a beer or something?

[Ziachild007]

Could you guys just go hash this out over a beer or something?

 

Funny story......I was at our local soccer fields after our last tournament and heard someone say my name. I turned around and it was Perch and his family. Our girls had just played against each other in the last game. We had talked about meeting up over the years, but never put anything together. And we finally meet at a youth soccer tournament of all places.

[Chief Dick]

Funny story......I was at our local soccer fields after our last tournament and heard someone say my name. I turned around and it was Perch and his family. Our girls had just played against each other in the last game. We had talked about meeting up over the years, but never put anything together. And we finally meet at a youth soccer tournament of all places. Perch then drew down on me. I thanked him and bought him a Dos Equis. It was great.