rocknrobn26 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs. The sign says: 'SEX FROGS' Only $20 each! Comes with 'complete' instructions. The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!' As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!' The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified: 1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy nightie. 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions . please call the pet store.' So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!' The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says: 'LISTEN TO ME!! I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE ... MORE ... TIME!!!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 A completely inebriated FIB was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted FIB asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the FIB said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 care of HoP from a league forum... 3 f* midgets are hangin around smokin Josh Gordon, drinkin beer and doin whatever else f* midgets do.... After HoP strolls over naked to drink and smoke with these little motherf* rs they realize how small they really are..... They are now hell bent on makin it in the guiness book of records..... The 1st midget says "Look at my little motherf* hands, I gotta win for worlds smallest, I cant even wipe my ass" !!! The 2nd f*ckin midget's feet are so f* small he trips over f* tic-tacs so he's all in.. The 3rd motherf* weeenis is so small he sits to f* pee... "My penis has to be the smallest ever" he sighed... Down the yellowbrick road these three motherf* hopefuls go to get into the record books..... After all the testing is done.......... The 1st f* midget won for hands... The 2nd aced it for feet..... The 3rd came out screaming: WHO THE F* IS Hugh 0ne !!!!!!!!!] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh 0ne Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 care of HoP from a league forum... Good Lord. F* HoP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 A Priest a Rabbi and a Monk walk into a bar and the bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke - Get the f*ck out of here." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gopher Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 This may not be considered a "joke" necessarily, but I thought it was kinda funny.... Some people are like slinkies... They don't really serve any particular purpose in life, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 This may not be considered a "joke" necessarily, but I thought it was kinda funny.... Some people are like slinkies... They don't really serve any particular purpose in life, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. I'll wait for Big John to reply to that............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gopher Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I'll wait for Big John to reply to that............. Did I hit too close to home for somebody? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Did I hit too close to home for somebody? Or an old joke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJoTheWebToedBoy Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) Congress And the Eagles...... Edited December 1, 2011 by JoJoTheWebToedBoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEC=UGA Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Congress And the Eagles...... You forgot about Oregon's chance at a BCS championship... Or, simply the BCS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTed46 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 care of HoP from a league forum... That was great Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That's us in 10 years". He said "That's a mirror, dip-chit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs. The sign says: 'SEX FROGS' Only $20 each! Comes with 'complete' instructions. The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!' As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!' The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified: 1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy nightie. 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions . please call the pet store.' So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!' The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says: 'LISTEN TO ME!! I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE ... MORE ... TIME!!!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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