whomper Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 (edited) Below is the letter I left my Nieces boyfriend who is taking care of my house while we are away next week Garden and Watering instructions By Chris Dear Jimmy, I would like to formally walk you through caring for my garden and flowers but first , a brief synopsis. We are trusting you with the care of our dogs. As you know we have 2 dogs. If something were to happen to one of the dogs we would no doubt be upset but then again Jimmy we do have 2 of them which would still leave us with one. Upset ? Of course but hey what are you going to do ?..Life goes on. We are also trusting you to look after our birds. As you know we have 2 birds one of which has just entered our family. Should anything happen to one of the birds we would surely be upset. Then again we do have 2 and we are really just getting to know one of them so. Would we be upset ? Of course ..But Hey what are you gonna do ? Life goes on. That brings us to my Garden. Before you read the rest of this I want you to go to the living room window and just look at it. Do you see how the red tomatos cascade ever so slightly into the beautiful purple eggplant ? Do you see the big cherry tomato plants in the back that hover over the rest of the garden like a big bear nurturing its cubs ? James, this is my prized possession. If my garden and Marilyn were hanging from a building and I was holding them both and could only save one who would I save ? Marilyn of course but would it be a no brainer ? I don’t think so.. Jimmy you have been an impressive young lad as you court my Niece. I like what I see. I have called on you in the past and tested your will and gumption. The night me and Marilyn got drunk at the wedding and needed a ride home I said I am gonna call Jimmy and without hesitation you jumped in your car and did me justice . Its things like that that will get you places Jimmy. Me returning to a beautiful garden will be another feather in your cap..Another stripe on your sleeve . I have faith in you Jimmy..Please don’t disappoint me.. Water the garden every day unless it rains hard. There are a bunch of tomatos that will be ready to be picked while we are away. When they are nice and red just pluck them off. Eat as much of them as you would like but if there are too many just give them away to a good home. Don’t let those glorious fruits of my loins go to waste. As far as the flowers there is a bucket on the chair by the washer and dryer. The flowers are right in front of the family room window. That’s the only ones you need to water. Fill the bucket and water them .You will probably have to make 2 trips. If we get no rain all week then also water the small tree in front of those flowers but you only have to do that like 3 times the whole week. So there you have it Jimmy. My plea to you .Mano y Mano. Take care of my babies Jimmy..Godspeed. Sincerely, Chris Edited August 11, 2007 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Pics please. (of your niece, not your garden... ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoopazz Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 You're screwed. Lucky if he splashes em once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted August 11, 2007 Author Share Posted August 11, 2007 You're screwed. Lucky if he splashes em once. I have faith in Jimmy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puddy Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I have faith in Jimmy Some funny stuff in that letter. Now I remember house sitting when I was a strapping lad of 18 years for a friend of my wife (girlfriend at the time). My ONLY purpose during that glorious week was to have sex as much as possible. I do remember that they had a cat. Well they left a similar type of request letter (albeit not funny at all). The 'special' request was to not give the cat her food right out of the can. Please put it in a bowl and microwave it for 15 seconds first, then move it to the kitty dish for her enjoyment. Guess how many times that happened during the week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Some funny stuff in that letter. Now I remember house sitting when I was a strapping lad of 18 years for a friend of my wife (girlfriend at the time). My ONLY purpose during that glorious week was to have sex as much as possible. I do remember that they had a cat. Well they left a similar type of request letter (albeit not funny at all). The 'special' request was to not give the cat her food right out of the can. Please put it in a bowl and microwave it for 15 seconds first, then move it to the kitty dish for her enjoyment. Guess how many times that happened during the week. Agree 100%..that kid is SO having sex in your garden now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted August 11, 2007 Author Share Posted August 11, 2007 Agree 100%..that kid is SO having sex in your garden now. I hear its good for the soil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 I hear its good for the soil At least you won't have to salt the tomatos now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted August 11, 2007 Author Share Posted August 11, 2007 (edited) At least you won't have to salt the tomatos now. How do you know its salty ? Edited August 11, 2007 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefjay Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Make sure you change your sheets when you get home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Pics please.(of your niece, not your garden... ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJoTheWebToedBoy Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 And burn the Mattress...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 How do you know its salty ? This is the point where I use a witty comment about your wife but I'll refrain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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