ChuckB Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 My bet is that she will do one of three things: 1. Act like nothing happened and remain the same. 2. Go overboard and quit because you are all such stupid pigs (insert her insults of choice). 3. Say that she has seen the light and will try to be better and then she will remain largely the same. People are who they are and few in that situation are going to change the basic nature of their personality. It would be easier for her to reason how it is your problem and not hers. And that isn't limited to the female gender either. Wurd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avernus Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 here ya go ...that one tooth... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorcher Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 So here's the situation. I work in a partnership with two other people in my office - still within the larger company but we share resources, work together with clients, etc. Both partners are senior to me by about 10 years. One male, one female. Well the female is a very very type A personality and her aggressiveness is overall an asset to the team. The problem is in her dealings with everyone else including our two female staff. She has a very negative attitued in general and has even said things like, "How can I have a positive attitude when everything is always screwed up?" This often - and even more often lately - leads her to take out frustrations on others by dealing with things with a pretty hostile tone. My other partner and I generally just ignored it because we realize she isn't being hostile TOWARDS us though it is getting very old and isn't fun to interact that way. Well, our primary assistant this week brough up the fact that she "didn't feel like she was fitting in with the team." When we boiled down the issue yesterday it's basically that she feels like she is being belittled by the female senior partner (and rightfully so). We all end up hashing it out and letting her know that we all dislike the constant anger and hostile way she deals with even miniscule issues. She's "stunned," crys a little, then begins wondering why "asking a question about something would be considered hostile." The conversation continues and eventually she jumps down my other partner's throat for making a suggestion about what she could do to ease some frustrations. He then points out that reaction is EXACTLY what we're talking about. She crys some more, says that all she can say is she'll try to do things differently, and tells us to leave her office as she has work to do (and is basically at a loss for words). None of us spoke to her again yesterday and she didn't come in today. In the past any time we've ever made suggestions we thought might help ease her frustrations it's always come back to someone else doing something wrong from her perspective. We didn't accept that this time and told her exactly how we felt. How would you react were it you? Just wondering what to expect on Monday... I think if she comes in Monday you should ask her to go for coffee or lunch so you can rehash things in a neutral environment. It's easier to discuss things outside of the "battlefield". If she doesn't show on Mon. , then perhaps a phone call with an invite to a neutral area might be in order. She probably felt ganged -up upon at that confrontation, and remember your discussion with her came in the heat of the moment. I worked for a chain restaurant at one time, and the best thing I took away was to never make an on the spot decision as to whether or not to fire someone or have an all out confrontation,, but to just say" Leave now and come back tomorrow." Perhaps if you do this not only will you have a better result, but you will also show her a better way to vent her frustrations. Good luck no matter what the outcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pope Flick Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Lay out the "Perception Argument" on her: whether she likes it or not, the perception of her around the office is a notoriously negative one, and at some point she has to hold herself accountable for that. When one is the common denominator in a series of complaints to HR or whatever she needs to own up to her co-workers' perception of her as a result of her "Body of Work" vis a vis her own behavior. But something tells me this won't end well, given she's already ducked out on Friday and ran for cover (re, her own sense of personal responsibility). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keggerz Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 So here's the situation. I work in a partnership with two other people in my office - still within the larger company but we share resources, work together with clients, etc. Both partners are senior to me by about 10 years. One male, one female. Well the female is a very very type A personality and her aggressiveness is overall an asset to the team. The problem is in her dealings with everyone else including our two female staff. She has a very negative attitued in general and has even said things like, "How can I have a positive attitude when everything is always screwed up?" This often - and even more often lately - leads her to take out frustrations on others by dealing with things with a pretty hostile tone. My other partner and I generally just ignored it because we realize she isn't being hostile TOWARDS us though it is getting very old and isn't fun to interact that way. Well, our primary assistant this week brough up the fact that she "didn't feel like she was fitting in with the team." When we boiled down the issue yesterday it's basically that she feels like she is being belittled by the female senior partner (and rightfully so). We all end up hashing it out and letting her know that we all dislike the constant anger and hostile way she deals with even miniscule issues. She's "stunned," crys a little, then begins wondering why "asking a question about something would be considered hostile." The conversation continues and eventually she jumps down my other partner's throat for making a suggestion about what she could do to ease some frustrations. He then points out that reaction is EXACTLY what we're talking about. She crys some more, says that all she can say is she'll try to do things differently, and tells us to leave her office as she has work to do (and is basically at a loss for words). None of us spoke to her again yesterday and she didn't come in today. In the past any time we've ever made suggestions we thought might help ease her frustrations it's always come back to someone else doing something wrong from her perspective. We didn't accept that this time and told her exactly how we felt. How would you react were it you? Just wondering what to expect on Monday... i didnt read everyones responses but was going to say that I think you guys should have contacted HR...that is what they are there for...and if you still work for who i think you do then you have an excellent HR dept as well as company policies that would cover stuff like this....any company worth their salt is going to have not only a sexual harassment policy but a general harassment policy too....the one thing that you are always going to need is documentation... WIthin a larger company? Expect a call from HR Monday. And prepare to defend yourselves.. even if that call doesnt come, imo someone should call them...and I would ask them to interview team members for their views on it...this is a straight up CYA and the only way to do so is with documentation. also, what sorta partner F'n cries when confronted with an issue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atlanta Cracker Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 3. Say that she has seen the light and will try to be better and then she will remain largely the same. Ding, Ding, Ding.... So to make a long story short the conversation basically went, "Thanks for the wakeup call but.... " At the very least we established that we aren't taking the attitude any more and did finally get to some productive discussion about how to make things work better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Next time she gets lippy, kick her in the nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Like Soup Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Next time she gets lippy, kick her in the nuts. I was gonna say kick her in the box while reading through the thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolverines Fan Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Ding, Ding, Ding.... So to make a long story short the conversation basically went, "Thanks for the wakeup call but.... " What came after "but"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pope Flick Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 What came after "but"? Not umsimilar to 2:30 onwards.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w-AG_yF1Uw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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