cliaz Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Here is a messed up series of events..... Rinsing off the dishes in the sink and putting them into the dish washer. One plate had been in the sink since yesterday when we had General Tso's chicken for din din so the sauce was really stuck on there. So i put some soap on it and start really scrubbing it when i knocked one of the kids spoons into the drain. So I turn off the water and stick my meat hook down into the drain and start feeling around for it. Its a tight fit and the whole time i'm paranoid about the garbage disposal [seen too many horror movies] and totally on edge about my hand in there. WARRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAWWWW! A cat in heat just belches forth this Banshee like scream right outside the kitchen window and made me jerk. Now i have no idea what it looks like inside the disposal but somehow my wedding ring got something metal stuck between it and my finger and it was so tight i couldn't pull my hand out. So there I am, a cat in heat screaming outside the window, my finger caught tightly on something in the disposal, and the commercial break for the Office just ended. I was, needless to say, pissed off. But in order to get the full effect of where this story is going I will enlighten those of you who do not know my little curse. I suffer from IBS. Ahhhhhh...i see all the light bulbs going off over your screen names. Yes, the fried chicken and biscuit dinner decided to wait until that very minute to come back to haunt me. So there I am, cat in heat screaming outside the window, my finger is caught in the drain, I hear Jim's voice drifting in from the living room, and my bowels decide to do the chicken dance and tighten up into a knot. So i start tugging and tugging on my hand but it isn't moving. I honestly felt that either my wedding ring or my finger was going to break. Then the biggest gas cramp hit me. It felt like two male mountain goats were bucking each other during mating season inside of me. Then the pressure built up. I'm doing only what i can describe as a mime performing the Macarana dance with one arm attempting to move everything around so the feeling would go away. I didn't want to make a noise because any change in my diaphragm wouldn't be good. then there was a big thump against our glass sliding door as two cats got into a fight. The noise was so sudden that.....well.....you can guess. after a minute of standing there in disbelief i managed to pulled my finger out without the ring on it and cleaned up. But i think i may have cracked my knuckle because it is pretty swollen and white. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chappy Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Someone paid attention during creative writing class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gonkis Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 .....well.....you can guess. Who are you? Cliaz would have spent most of the post making sure we didn't have to guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 SO...don't keep us waiting. Did you stain the whities or not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted May 16, 2008 Author Share Posted May 16, 2008 Who are you? Cliaz would have spent most of the post making sure we didn't have to guess. Well, it was only a shart but still. Its like once every 2 to 3 years i have a very strange thing happen to me where all the stars line up for a messed up situation. I'm sure BJ still has the link but about 3 years ago i had something where step out of the shower, my foot slipped under the door and ripped my toenail off, then later on that day i hit a deer with my jeep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peepinmofo Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 You know, you coulda just crapped in the sink if you were really about to blow a gasket... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Well, it was only a shart but still. Its like once every 2 to 3 years i have a very strange thing happen to me where all the stars line up for a messed up situation. I'm sure BJ still has the link but about 3 years ago i had something where step out of the shower, my foot slipped under the door and ripped my toenail off, then later on that day i hit a deer with my jeep. Thread was gunned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pope Flick Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Pics? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted May 16, 2008 Author Share Posted May 16, 2008 Pics? PM'ed to you. That Match box car was on the floor already, it didn't come from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyBalata Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 PM'ed to you. That Match box car was on the floor already, it didn't come from me. Loaf was there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gonkis Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 I'll use this story next time my wife asks me why I'm not wearing my wedding ring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Loaf was there? Loaf is for Hot Wheels, not Matchbox (And for his concern, there is a hugh difference). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyBalata Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Loaf is for Hot Wheels, not Matchbox (And for his concern, there is a hugh difference). Now I'm in trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loaf Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Someone paid attention during creative writing class. you must be new Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loaf Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Loaf is for Hot Wheels, not Matchbox (And for his concern, there is a hugh difference). there is a hugh diff but I have found that Matchbox has become the every day term for toy cars, regardless of the brand. It's like Kleenex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gonkis Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 there is a hugh diff but I have found that Matchbox has become the every day term for toy cars, regardless of the brand. It's like Kleenex My 6 year old uses "Hot Wheels" as the term for every toy car he has, but probably because of the catchy commercials... Beat That!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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