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Huddle Fist Fight #6


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Who wins?  

48 members have voted

  1. 1. Who wins?

    • Twiley
      38
    • JJ
      10


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Since this fight wasnt officially sanctioned by the HTFFA(Huddle Tailgate Fist Fight Association) I was simply going to decline comment. I especially avoided this thread after it devolved into a "My Dick is Bigger than Yours Thread" by Blitz and SeattleLawDog. But since it has been moved over to the Huddle Fights Thread, I thought I would go ahead and take a quick stab at it.

 

I find Twiley and JJ to be an unlikely matchup on a number of levels. First, these 2 are fraternity brothers who would rather be at frat house Keg party watching porno movies and have jackoff races rather than fighting. Secondly, neither one strikes me as a particularly fight prone sort. Twiley moreso than the class clown JJ. Twiley is the Otis Campbell of the Huddle. The Foster Brooks if you will. You see, Twiley is a drunk. A happy drunk. A fun drunk. A drunk that you will always invite back to all of your parties. A drunk who doesnt mind everyone gawking at his wife's enormous set. A drunk who has no problem making an ass out of himself at a couples shower or a dinner party. But a drunk non the less. And with all drunks, I can assure you, his drunken ass was slapped off of more than 1 bar stool after saying something incredibly stupid or offensive. And after a steady stream of risque bordering on obscene comments, the random chick, or 500, has thrown a drink on him causing some other dude to come over and defend her honor against the drunk and disorderly Twiley. So, this bar fly obviously knows what its like to be beaten to a bloody pulp. And I bet he has woken up innumerable a days wondering how the heck he got that black eye, bruised jaw, and completely dishelved appearance while wondering how he got home and where he left his car. My best guess is that Twiley, while not a real impressive fighter, can actually defend himself from blows raining down upon him. He wouldnt embarass himself in the ring. Unfortunately, he would under no circumstances be able to fight sober. But thats ok since he hasnt had a sober night since 1987.

 

JJ is also the fun guy at the party. He is the kid growing up who could always sneak out his dads latest Playboy Mag and bring it to the tree house for viewing. Good guy to know if you wanted to see a whisker bisquit. He was a good ole boy, never meanin no harm. Went off to college and partied like a rockstar. Was on the 7 year plan, trying to hit on incoming freshmen chicks when he was 25. Again, nothing malicious, he just never wanted to grow up and accept responsibility. The man is just not serious enough to have a mean streak. Just not much fight in this dog. Not that there is anything wrong with that, he just aint wired that way. He wants to make sure everyone is happy, not dead. The chance of him getting into a scuffle, while not of St Amantian neglibility, is still incredibly small. I am guessing he never really had a fist fight. Ever.

 

So, even though we have 2 happy go lucky frat rats with drinking, commitment, and pron problems, I dont really believe this outcome would be close. Yes, Twiley has attempted to shed his barfly image and become respectable and even snooty since he got married. But being a wine snob, still doesnt mean you arent a drunk, your just drinking better spirits! That said, I am going to have to say that Twiley takes JJ down in the 3rd round with JJ actually taking a dive so he can go get the 35 mm projector started with the Ass Masters II movie rolling.

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Since this fight wasnt officially sanctioned by the HTFFA(Huddle Tailgate Fist Fight Association) I was simply going to decline comment.  I especially avoided this thread after it devolved into a "My Dick is Bigger than Yours Thread" by Blitz and SeattleLawDog.  But since it has been moved over to the Huddle Fights Thread, I thought I would go ahead and take a quick stab at it.

 

I find Twiley and JJ to be an unlikely matchup on a number of levels.  First, these 2 are fraternity brothers who would rather be at frat house Keg party watching porno movies and have jackoff races rather than fighting.  Secondly, neither one strikes me as a particularly fight prone sort.  Twiley moreso than the class clown JJ.  Twiley is the Otis Campbell of the Huddle.  The Foster Brooks if you will.  You see, Twiley is a drunk.  A happy drunk.  A fun drunk.  A drunk that you will always invite back to all of your parties.  A drunk who doesnt mind everyone gawking at his wife's enormous set.  A drunk who has no problem making an ass out of himself at a couples shower or a dinner party.  But a drunk non the less.  And with all drunks, I can assure you, his drunken ass was slapped off of more than 1 bar stool after saying something incredibly stupid or offensive.  And after a steady stream of risque bordering on obscene comments, the random chick, or 500, has thrown a drink on him causing some other dude to come over and defend her honor against the drunk and disorderly Twiley.  So, this bar fly obviously knows what its like to be beaten to a bloody pulp.  And I bet he has woken up innumerable a days wondering how the heck he got that black eye,  bruised jaw, and completely dishelved appearance while wondering how he got home and where he left his car.  My best guess is that Twiley, while not a real impressive fighter, can actually defend himself from blows raining down upon him.  He wouldnt embarass himself in the ring.  Unfortunately, he would under no circumstances be able to fight sober.  But thats ok since he hasnt had a sober night since 1987.

 

JJ is also the fun guy at the party.  He is the kid growing up who could always sneak out his dads latest Playboy Mag and bring it to the tree house for viewing.  Good guy to know if you wanted to see a whisker bisquit.  He was a good ole boy, never meanin no harm.  Went off to college and partied like a rockstar.  Was on the 7 year plan, trying to hit on incoming freshmen chicks when he was 25.  Again, nothing malicious, he just never wanted to grow up and accept responsibility.  The man is just not serious enough to have a mean streak.  Just not much fight in this dog.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, he just aint wired that way.  He wants to make sure everyone is happy, not dead.  The chance of him getting into a scuffle, while not of St Amantian neglibility, is still incredibly small.  I am guessing he never really had a fist fight.  Ever. 

 

So, even though we have 2 happy go lucky frat rats with drinking, commitment,  and pron problems, I dont really believe this outcome would be close.  Yes, Twiley has attempted to shed his barfly image and become respectable and even snooty since he got married.  But being a wine snob, still doesnt mean you arent a drunk, your just drinking better spirits!  That said, I am going to have to say that Twiley takes JJ down in the 3rd round with JJ actually taking a dive so he can go get the 35 mm projector started with the Ass Masters II movie rolling.

 

1275833[/snapback]

 

 

 

Dam Spain, that's pretty funny. That's a pretty close description of me. :D

 

For the record, I've never been beaten to a bloody pulp though.

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Since this fight wasnt officially sanctioned by the HTFFA(Huddle Tailgate Fist Fight Association) I was simply going to decline comment.  I especially avoided this thread after it devolved into a "My Dick is Bigger than Yours Thread" by Blitz and SeattleLawDog.  But since it has been moved over to the Huddle Fights Thread, I thought I would go ahead and take a quick stab at it.

 

I find Twiley and JJ to be an unlikely matchup on a number of levels.  First, these 2 are fraternity brothers who would rather be at frat house Keg party watching porno movies and have jackoff races rather than fighting.  Secondly, neither one strikes me as a particularly fight prone sort.  Twiley moreso than the class clown JJ.  Twiley is the Otis Campbell of the Huddle.  The Foster Brooks if you will.  You see, Twiley is a drunk.  A happy drunk.  A fun drunk.  A drunk that you will always invite back to all of your parties.  A drunk who doesnt mind everyone gawking at his wife's enormous set.  A drunk who has no problem making an ass out of himself at a couples shower or a dinner party.  But a drunk non the less.  And with all drunks, I can assure you, his drunken ass was slapped off of more than 1 bar stool after saying something incredibly stupid or offensive.  And after a steady stream of risque bordering on obscene comments, the random chick, or 500, has thrown a drink on him causing some other dude to come over and defend her honor against the drunk and disorderly Twiley.  So, this bar fly obviously knows what its like to be beaten to a bloody pulp.  And I bet he has woken up innumerable a days wondering how the heck he got that black eye,  bruised jaw, and completely dishelved appearance while wondering how he got home and where he left his car.  My best guess is that Twiley, while not a real impressive fighter, can actually defend himself from blows raining down upon him.  He wouldnt embarass himself in the ring.  Unfortunately, he would under no circumstances be able to fight sober.  But thats ok since he hasnt had a sober night since 1987.

 

JJ is also the fun guy at the party.  He is the kid growing up who could always sneak out his dads latest Playboy Mag and bring it to the tree house for viewing.  Good guy to know if you wanted to see a whisker bisquit.  He was a good ole boy, never meanin no harm.  Went off to college and partied like a rockstar.  Was on the 7 year plan, trying to hit on incoming freshmen chicks when he was 25.  Again, nothing malicious, he just never wanted to grow up and accept responsibility.  The man is just not serious enough to have a mean streak.  Just not much fight in this dog.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, he just aint wired that way.  He wants to make sure everyone is happy, not dead.  The chance of him getting into a scuffle, while not of St Amantian neglibility, is still incredibly small.  I am guessing he never really had a fist fight.  Ever. 

 

So, even though we have 2 happy go lucky frat rats with drinking, commitment,  and pron problems, I dont really believe this outcome would be close.  Yes, Twiley has attempted to shed his barfly image and become respectable and even snooty since he got married.  But being a wine snob, still doesnt mean you arent a drunk, your just drinking better spirits!  That said, I am going to have to say that Twiley takes JJ down in the 3rd round with JJ actually taking a dive so he can go get the 35 mm projector started with the Ass Masters II movie rolling.

 

1275833[/snapback]

 

 

 

You've got me pegged pretty good as well except for one thing. I've been in a lot of fistfights. Not many in the last 6 years but a bunch in high school and college. I was still going after college freshman when I was as old as 22 and I was on the 5 year plan not 7. twiley and I are both Sig Eps so the frat thing is dead on. Pretty funny analysis though.

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You've got me pegged pretty good as well except for one thing.  I've been in a lot of fistfights.  Not many in the last 6 years but a bunch in high school and college.  I was still going after college freshman when I was as old as 22 and I was on the 5 year plan not 7.  twiley and I are both Sig Eps so the frat thing is dead on.  Pretty funny analysis though.

 

1275894[/snapback]

 

 

 

For a sheep fawker, he's pretty good at profiling. :D

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