whitem0nkey Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the Chicago White Sox Fan Club. Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing only fan conversion registrations for Chicago Cub fans. Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Cub requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based on the current backlog of requests. Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to recover from your previous fan experience. Name: ______________________________ Last First MI (Please Print) Address: _________________________________________________________ # Street __________________________________________________________ City State ZIP 1. Please indicate the last time you watched the Chicago Cubs win the Pennant: [ ] 1945 (Please leave this form at the front desk of your nursing home) [ ] Have never witnessed this event 2. Please indicate your favorite moments in Cubs history: (Check all that apply) [ ] Carmen Falzone trumpeting the National Anthem [ ] Lou Brock traded to the Cardinals for Ernie Broglio in 1964 [ ] The College of Coaches in the early 60’s [ ] Lee Smith grooving a fastball to Steve Garvey in game 4 of the 1984 NLCS. [ ] Brant Brown dropping a fly ball in 1998 which forced a 1 game playoff with the Giants. [ ] Grounder goes between Leon Durham’s legs during game 5 of 1984 NLCS [ ] Fan interfering with Foul Ball during game 6 of 2003 NLCS (Should have blown up Alex Gonzalez’s mitt). [ ] Leo Durocher’s AWOL visit to his sons Military School during 1969 pennant run. [ ] A Black Cat running in front of Ron Santo during critical 1969 series in Shea Stadium. [ ] Future Hall of Famer Greg Maddox not tendered offer and signs with Atlanta Braves. [ ] Atlanta Braves featuring Greg Maddox sweep Cubs out of 1989 playoffs [ ] Don Young dropping the fly ball in 1969 [ ] Mark Grace not tendered offer by Cubs, signs with Diamondback and wins World Series. [ ] Manager Lee Elia’s profanity filled tirade at beginning of 1983 season. [ ] Sammy Sosa getting caught using a corked bat during 2003 season. [ ] Cubs blow 8 game late August lead and finish 8 games behind 1969 Mets. [ ] Cubs reliever Dickie Noles drinks case of beer and attacks Cincinnati police after game. [ ] Michael Jordan follows through on his sixth inning RBI double against the Chicago Cubs April 7, 1994 to tie the score. 3. Reasons you believe the Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908: (Check all that apply) [ ] The curse of the goat [ ] Lack of managing [ ] The curse of the goat [ ] Lack of pitching [ ] The curse of the goat [ ] Lack of hitting [ ] The curse of the goat [ ] Lack of Defense [ ] The curse of the goat [ ] Bad Calls by umpires [ ] The curse of the goat 4. Have you experienced any of the following after another inevitable Cubs loss: (Check all that apply) [ ] Headache [ ] Uncontrollable anger [ ] Heartache [ ] Holes punched in doors or walls [ ] Nausea [ ] Smashed TV Screens [ ] Depression [ ] Avoided White Sox Fans for days 5. Is October your least favorite time of year [ ] Yes [ ] No 6. Are You tired of saying “Wait til next year”? [ ] Yes [ ] No 7. Are you ready to admit that: a. Harold Baines was better than Keith Moreland? [ ] Yes [ ] No b. Jon Garland is better than Matt Karchner? [ ] Yes [ ] No c. Ozzie Guillen was better than Shawon Dunston? [ ] Yes [ ] No d. Harry Caray was better with the White Sox? [ ] Yes [ ] No e. The next Cub century will be no better than the last? [ ] Yes [ ] No f. The Ivy on the outfield walls serves no purpose other than housing annoying pests (like the rest of the place)? [ ] Yes [ ] No Once you have completed this form, please forward to The Cell. Then burn all of your remaining Cub clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the White Sox Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection. If accepted, you will receive: A recommended recuperation program which includes a recording of Go Go White Sox over and over again; An opportunity to obtain tickets to the 2005 World Series at US Cellular Field; Posters of Steve Stone and Jon Garland in White Sox uniforms; A Dart board sporting the picture of Sammy Sosa; A copy of our popular handbook, Harassing Cub fans for fun and profit; A one year subscription to a weekly support group for ex-Cub fans in your area. If rejected, you will receive: Our pity and condolences, plus a 10 second video capturing the past years of Cub highlights in head-to-head competition against the White Sox narrated by George Bell. I hereby renounce the Chicago Cubs for all eternity on this the ________ day of _____________________, 200____ ___________________________________ (Signed) ____________________________________________________________ (OfficeUse only) [ ] Approved [ ] Declined ____________________ Jerry Reinsdorf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhinsFan13 Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 Anyone can copy and paste! The question is, is this: How did you get out of the way of your mullet to copy and paste this? And where did you get the electricity to your trailer to boot up your recently bought Commadore 64? Funny post though, too bad you didn't think of it.......Oh that's right, that would require an education to do so.....! Enjoy the Series! I will. Being a Sox fan gives you bragging rights, but you've won NOTHING yet. Perhaps you'll get props in a couple of weeks, but for now, NOTHING!!! Go ASTROS! Man I hate saying that! But it's the lesser of 2 evils! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gilthorp Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 Sounds like PhinsFan got a little excited in his reply. I'll bet he spilled his wine cooler all over his keyboard when responding and asked his boyfriend to clean it up for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pope Flick Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 What's so funny about this is that White Sox fans here are using this occasion to NOT talk about how great their team is but using the WS appearance to take shots at the Cubs....some of you guys define yourself as White Sox fans by how much you dislike the Cubs, not how much you like your team. There are very few Cub fan rants against the Sox on these boards. In fact poke through the thread and there are more WS fans talking about the Cubs than about the White Sox. Did you send that application to all the October fans who suddenly began providing sellouts of Cellular when they weren't even hitting 30,000 through much of September? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Swerski Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 Enjoy the Series! I will. Being a Sox fan gives you bragging rights, but you've won NOTHING yet. Perhaps you'll get props in a couple of weeks, but for now, NOTHING!!! 1089275[/snapback] Um, actually that's not true. We won a pennant. And that's a hell of a lot more than the Cubs can claim at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhinsFan13 Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 Sounds like PhinsFan got a little excited in his reply. I'll bet he spilled his wine cooler all over his keyboard when responding and asked his boyfriend to clean it up for him. 1089552[/snapback] It was a wine spritzer, and it was YOUR boyfriend that helped me clean it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 You actually want bandwagon fans? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Swerski Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 You actually want bandwagon fans? 1089701[/snapback] Jerry Reinsdorf doesn't. John Cusack (supposedly a Sox fan) showed up at the Cubs playoff games in '03 and declared himself a Cubs fan to the media. A few weeks ago, his agent called the Sox front office to try to score playoff tickets. Jerry told him to step. That was one of the few intelligent PR decisions that Reinsdorf has made over the past decade. Sox fans don't want to associate themselves with Hollywood weenies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 Classic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitem0nkey Posted October 22, 2005 Author Share Posted October 22, 2005 Anyone can copy and paste! The question is, is this: How did you get out of the way of your mullet to copy and paste this? And where did you get the electricity to your trailer to boot up your recently bought Commadore 64? Funny post though, too bad you didn't think of it.......Oh that's right, that would require an education to do so.....! Enjoy the Series! I will. Being a Sox fan gives you bragging rights, but you've won NOTHING yet. Perhaps you'll get props in a couple of weeks, but for now, NOTHING!!! Go ASTROS! Man I hate saying that! But it's the lesser of 2 evils! 1089275[/snapback] Cheese lay off the coke dude. Its just a funny thing a ran across. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhinsFan13 Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 I was just playing, I was a little intoxicated when I wrote it, so it seemed funny to me... Sorry if I upset you. And a quick thing about the story about John Cusak, it was bulls**t. His sister is the spokesperson for US Cellular and SHE took him to the game with HER tickets. That story was bogus. Just so you know....AND.... He IS a Cubs fan! Enjoy the game tonight!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitem0nkey Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Swerski Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 And a quick thing about the story about John Cusak, it was bulls**t. His sister is the spokesperson for US Cellular and SHE took him to the game with HER tickets. That story was bogus. Just so you know....AND.... He IS a Cubs fan! 1090227[/snapback] You're talking about something completely different. Cusack's agent called the Sox front office BEFORE John's horse-faced sister took him to the game. You sore-loser Cubs fans crack me up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seminoles Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 What's so funny about this is that White Sox fans here are using this occasion to NOT talk about how great their team is but using the WS appearance to take shots at the Cubs....some of you guys define yourself as White Sox fans by how much you dislike the Cubs, not how much you like your team. There are very few Cub fan rants against the Sox on these boards. In fact poke through the thread and there are more WS fans talking about the Cubs than about the White Sox. Did you send that application to all the October fans who suddenly began providing sellouts of Cellular when they weren't even hitting 30,000 through much of September? 1089569[/snapback] just to comment on this: from what i have seen locally in the past five years, there are about 10 times more Cubs-to-Sox rants than Sox-to-Cubs rants. i'm just saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pope Flick Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 just to comment on this: from what i have seen locally in the past five years, there are about 10 times more Cubs-to-Sox rants than Sox-to-Cubs rants. i'm just saying. 1093281[/snapback] Where are they here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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