Big Country Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: "what in the world are you doing? The daughter replied: "mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone. The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing? The daughter said: "dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone." A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked: "What the F#$@ are you doing?" The husband replied: "I'm watching football with my son-in-law." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 i thought the wife was somehow gonna burn the husband with a trip to BC's Adult Emporium Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I thought this was about the daughter with the octuplets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made passionate love on his desk right then and there!" The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only had sex all night. He wants to move up our wedding date!" The married woman put her glass down and said, "I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Kid goes into the local drug store, he is up in the aisle where the condoms are. The kid has a confused look on his face so the Pharmacist seeing the perplexed lad comes over to help. Pharmacist goes "Can I Help you" Kid stammers and says " I need to buy some ah uh ah uh" The Pharmacist goes " Rubbers..condoms...safes..." The kid goes " yes that's it" The pharmacist goes " well kid we have ribbed, lubricated, extra large, coloredones, even flavored ones... what do you have in mind?" The kid goes "ahhhh" The pharmacist goes " OK we have 3 packs and 6 packs" The kid goes " ahhhhhh" The Pharmacist goes " the 3 packs are for the high school kids.. one for friday, one for saturday, one for sunday. The 6 packs are for the Jocks and the College guys... 2 for friday 2 for saturday 2 for sunday" The kid goes " well what about the 12 packs there I want those!" The Pharmacist goes " Kid those aren't for you, those are for the married guys. One for January, one for February, one for March....." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made passionate love on his desk right then and there!" The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only had sex all night. He wants to move up our wedding date!" The married woman put her glass down and said, "I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Okay CN, I laughed. Gonna forward the Batman one to my wife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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