Puddy Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I signed up to do this at work and am looking forward to it. The corporate program is very structured and I'll meet with my 'little' twice a month at lunch time. They have programs where I could mentor on my own which I assume would be less structured, more time. I think yomama used to do some type of mentoring but not sure if it was this program. Anyone else have any similar experiences? What did you think about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Kudos to you Puddy. I had a Big Brother when I was a kid as I grew up without a father figure. Took me to UofO football/basketball games and took the time out of his college studies to visit me at least once a week for almost 2 years. I still keep in touch with him to this day. You will be forever rewarded by this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I signed up to do this at work and am looking forward to it. The corporate program is very structured and I'll meet with my 'little' twice a month at lunch time. They have programs where I could mentor on my own which I assume would be less structured, more time. I think yomama used to do some type of mentoring but not sure if it was this program. Anyone else have any similar experiences? What did you think about it? I did mentoring for 3 or 4 years back in Houston, but it was a program through my employer. My understanding is that Big Brother/Big Sister is more about life in general mentoring. The kids in my program came looking for academic help and assistance in navigating a path to higher education. It was very rewarding. And very time consuming. The problem is that the more connected you get to your 'little' the more involved you become in their personal lives. There is some deeply messed up stuff happening to kids out there, and its easy to care a little too much. Next thing you know you're helping them out with very real problems a lot more often than twice a month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Kudos to you Puddy. I had a Big Brother when I was a kid as I grew up without a father figure. Took me to UofO football/basketball games and took the time out of his college studies to visit me at least once a week for almost 2 years. I still keep in touch with him to this day. You will be forever rewarded by this. Agree I had one too and still keep in touch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaumont Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I did it for a year until I left Chattanooga. I was young and I think I made a mistake of making it all about super fun time instead of just hanging out sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuke'em ttg Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 My daughter had a little sister for 2 years and enjoyed it for the most part..One cool thing was that they could eat for free at olive garden....they bowled,mini golf,bake, arts and crafts stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpholmes Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SayItAintSoJoe Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Very cool. You can make a difference in that young person's life and since you've posted about it here you may inspire others to do the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Footballjoe Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 My sister did this for a while. My wife and I have actually talked about foster parenting now that we are empty nesters. Not sure if we will persue it though but are considering it. I am sure it will be a rewarding expierence for you Puddy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gopher Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I did this a few years ago... The school we went to was in a pretty rough part of town, relatively speaking. Met with the same kid (a 2nd grader named Cole), once a week, at lunch time. We would eat lunch together, read a book, do an activity, or just talk about what was going on in his life. Dad was in prison, mom worked, and he and his sister were in the same school. He never said much, so I had to be really persistent to get him to tell me about himself. Partially becuase he was shy (I assumed), but I also got the impression that he was more "troubled" than I realized. Not in the sense that he was a bad kid, or anything, but it just seemed like he had more on his mind than any 2nd grader should. The strange part about that first year was that I never really got the impression that it meant that much to him. In other words, he seemed to go through the motions... whether it be reading, talking, doing an activity, or whatever. I honestly didn't get the impression that he cared who his "Big Brother" was. It seemed like he would have behaved the same, no matter who came to see him. After the first year, I decided that I would return for another school year. Unfortunately, Tuesdays worked best for my schedule, and in order to stick with Tuesdays, it meant that I would have to meet with a new kid (another 2nd grader). A few days before I was scheduled to go meet my new little brother, I got a call from Cole's teacher. As it turned out, he had been through a rough summer, and she was wondering if I would consider switching days, in order to continue to be Cole's big brother. Apparently, he had been getting into quite a bit of trouble, in the short time since school had resumed... fights, visits to the principle's office, etc. This all caught me very much by surprise... Like I said, I never got the impression that our time together meant much to him. But, after thinking it over very briefly, I agreed to switch to Wednesdays. I'll never forget my first visit with Cole, that second year. I asked him how his summer had gone, and he told me that it had been bad. Then, he told me that his dad had killed himself in prison. How do you respond to that? I'm not even sure what I said, in response, but I just remember feeling extremely sad for Cole. He was having to grow up way too fast, and deal with things that nobody should have to deal with, much less an 8-year-old. The good part about that year was that Cole's behavior changed for the better, once we started meeting. I hope that I had a part in helping him through that tough time. Today, I have no idea where Cole is, or how he's doing. I don't even remember his last name. I wish that I would have kept in touch with him. Hopefully, he's all right. If you have the opportunity to participate in a program like this, I would strongly recommend it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I did this a few years ago... The school we went to was in a pretty rough part of town, relatively speaking. Met with the same kid (a 2nd grader named Cole), once a week, at lunch time. We would eat lunch together, read a book, do an activity, or just talk about what was going on in his life. Dad was in prison, mom worked, and he and his sister were in the same school. He never said much, so I had to be really persistent to get him to tell me about himself. Partially becuase he was shy (I assumed), but I also got the impression that he was more "troubled" than I realized. Not in the sense that he was a bad kid, or anything, but it just seemed like he had more on his mind than any 2nd grader should. In my experience, its a natural self-defense mechanism. What's the point in caring about someone when everyone in your life consistently hurts you or lets you down? Better to protect yourself by building up emotional defenses. Plus, caring about people can be seen as a sign of weakness. In the 'hood, being weak means getting picked on. It is also very likely that your little guy had some legit psych issues and/or emotionally developmental issues. How is a kid supposed to know what "normal" is when everything around them is insane? One of my kids had a mom who was literally a crack whore would let her illegal alien pimp/drug dealer get after the daughter. She never knew her dad, big bro was in prison, little bro was a gangster, both sisters were illiterate - one had six (6) kids by her mid 20s. So my mentee opted to be homeless instead... yet still kept a near 3.8 GPA in high school *and* got damn near a full ride to college. There is some very bad things happening to some very good kids. Being a mentor can make the difference, though you may never get to see the difference you've made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 The problem is that the more connected you get to your 'little' the more involved you become in their personal lives. There is some deeply messed up stuff happening to kids out there, and its easy to care a little too much. Next thing you know you're helping them out with very real problems a lot more often than twice a month. I admit this is what stopped me. Props to those who do though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bushwacked Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I admit this is what stopped me That and the fact everything in the world pisses you off may have been a obstacle after the screening process Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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