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Mexicans and machetes


detlef
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Gotta love it. My wife and I were driving home from a dinner party last night in a nasty storm. Sort of out in the middle of nowhere, we come across a tree down in the middle of the road. It wasn't huge, so I thought there was a chance I could move it but I tried to no avail. Next thing you know, these two Mexican dudes show up and start going at the tree with a machete. One dude whacking at it, while me and the other guy were dragging limbs away. Eventually, we'd cut off enough so we could drag the tree out of the road. How rad is that? Dude just happens to have a freaking machete! Turning around would have added like 10 miles to the trip.

 

Guess I'm gonna have to keep a machete with me from now on.

Edited by detlef
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I'm kind of curious at this slip. Did you mean one guy whacking it at me? I think you did. :wacko:

Well duh, when have you ever helped a few Mexican dudes move a tree off the road that didn't involve at least one person beating off? Like you even had to ask.

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They were just doing what they are accustomed to doing. It's called landscaping, they were waiting for you to pay them when you drove off.

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You must make everyone in Georgia laugh.

 

I do, really, I do. I look at my personality and wit as a gift from god that should be shared with all of those with whom I come in contact.

 

Sometimes I think they may be laughing at me, but most often I know that this couldn't be the case, most often they are laughing with me as I bring light into their lives during otherwise dark times.

 

I know that I should be more greedy with my gift, I should get on a stage and perform shows in front of paying audiences only, but with such a gift of hughmor and insight why be greedy, ti would only serve to make the world a less joyful place.

 

So, I do what I can, I go out and mix among the public, dropping a one liner here and there making observations, hughmorous and insightful, about regular everyday events. It is much like therapy for most of those with whom I have discourse and you can just see them beaming as they walk away, their day much more joyful for having been in my presence.

 

Like I said, it is a gift and I am glad, nay, I am duty bound, to share it with as many people as possible.

 

The other day I was in Michigan and was able to share my gift with those there and I truly believe that I helped them out. The same can be said for those in Baltimore, New Orleans, Charlotte, DC, NYC, Las Vegas, Jacksonville, Miami, Buffalo and other places where I have spent time this year. I am truly one of god's special children and am intent on sharing my gift.

 

Though, I typically choose to withhold my gracious blessings from those who hail from S. Carolina as they are unworthy.

Edited by SEC=UGA
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Don't feed the tards trolls, dammit! :wacko:

 

I was just commending him on his humor, because I know many people in the South would laugh at his jokes.

 

Though, I typically choose to withhold my gracious blessings from those who hail from S. Carolina as they are unworthy.

 

You'd have to waste money on gas to meet them in person, because I don't think they can read the internet.

Edited by WaterMan
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:wacko:

 

If there were only two of them, no way they were Mexicans.

 

:tup:

 

These days it is difficult to find more than two Mexicans. Seriously, I've been trying.

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do all hawt mexican girls get fat?

 

Define "fat". I want a pretty face and an hourglass. It can be a 2 minute hourglass or a 2 hour hourglass as long as the proportions are there (and the face MUST be pretty). I usually draw the line around 180 or so, but a woman doesn't have to be skinny imo. :wacko:

 

But yes, if Gainesville GA is any indication (and we have tons of latinos working at chicken plants up here) then nearly all latino women put on a few by mid-30's or so.

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Define "fat". I want a pretty face and an hourglass. It can be a 2 minute hourglass or a 2 hour hourglass as long as the proportions are there (and the face MUST be pretty). I usually draw the line around 180 or so, but a woman doesn't have to be skinny imo. :wacko:

 

But yes, if Gainesville GA is any indication (and we have tons of latinos working at chicken plants up here) then nearly all latino women put on a few by mid-30's or so.

 

Reminds me of a drunk conversation one time...

 

I was having dinner with a friend of mine and a girl she worked with. The girl was cute, hispanic, mid 20's... So I asked, "Whet the hell is up with hispanic women once the hit about 30? Take you for example, your cute, nice body, but I can see it coming, by the time your 32 you will have shrunk 3 inches, you'll have a 36 inch wait, 45 inch hips and your thighs will be the size of tree trunks, nothing you can do about it, it's just genetics."

 

Her - :bow:

:tup:

:rofl:

 

My Friend - :lol:

 

I - I'm not saying you won't still be attractive, but I'm just trying to figure out what type of dramatic transformation takes place, how does this happen.

 

My Friend - :rofl:

 

And so it went for the next hour or so with me being lectured by two angry women...

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Reminds me of a drunk conversation one time...

 

I was having dinner with a friend of mine and a girl she worked with. The girl was cute, hispanic, mid 20's... So I asked, "Whet the hell is up with hispanic women once the hit about 30? Take you for example, your cute, nice body, but I can see it coming, by the time your 32 you will have shrunk 3 inches, you'll have a 36 inch wait, 45 inch hips and your thighs will be the size of tree trunks, nothing you can do about it, it's just genetics."

 

Her - :bow:

:tup:

:rofl:

 

My Friend - :lol:

 

I - I'm not saying you won't still be attractive, but I'm just trying to figure out what type of dramatic transformation takes place, how does this happen.

 

My Friend - :rofl:

 

And so it went for the next hour or so with me being lectured by two angry women...

 

This is nearly the same conversation you had with the wife (re: butch haircut and spare tire, IIRC) isn't it? I'm thinking you shouldn't drink around wimmens, at least if yer trying to lay some pipe. Just sayin'... :wacko:

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This is nearly the same conversation you had with the wife (re: butch haircut and spare tire, IIRC) isn't it? I'm thinking you shouldn't drink around wimmens, at least if yer trying to lay some pipe. Just sayin'... :wacko:

 

At no point did I say I didn't end up in a threeway at the end of the night.

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