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Bullying or Sexual Abuse?


i_am_the_swammi
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Is there a way to get the police involved without necessarily having the jackass boys get put on a "sex offender" list? I do strongly agree that the problem needs to be addressed, I am just not sure what the full repercussions are.

 

If the parent had been much more willing to be a man and take control of his son, I am guessing that calling the police probably wouldn't have been an option that was pursued. But that wouldn't change the fact that an assault (sexual or not) had taken place. Do we choose to punish the child more harshly if the parent is an a-hole compared to if the parent had been a stand-up man? Is that just?

 

I don't know.

 

I do know that both the punk and his dad should get the crap beat out of them.

 

I think if they are a minor then their records cannot be made public, so they cant be classified on a sex offender list.

 

Although that could vary by state. :wacko:

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Is there a way to get the police involved without necessarily having the jackass boys get put on a "sex offender" list? I do strongly agree that the problem needs to be addressed, I am just not sure what the full repercussions are.

 

If the parent had been much more willing to be a man and take control of his son, I am guessing that calling the police probably wouldn't have been an option that was pursued. But that wouldn't change the fact that an assault (sexual or not) had taken place. Do we choose to punish the child more harshly if the parent is an a-hole compared to if the parent had been a stand-up man? Is that just?

 

I don't know.

 

That right there is the dilema my neighbor (and all of us, really, since our children will still be subjected to the son) is facing. He initially took the high road and tried to talk to the parents, to no avail. Then to later me confronted by the dad, saying he'd beat the sh*t out of him if he ever threatened his son....makes wanting to go to the police even more appealing. Its pretty obvious that the parents are more worried about defending their disaster of a son than actually dealing with what he did....at this point, the only option is to take it to a higher authority. But if they opt not to pursue....and all the kid gets is a talking to by the police about why this behavior is unacceptible....what are the repercussions down the road for the boy who was assaulted? Can he ever play outside again without fear? Can he walk the halls at school without the fear he is being teased and mocked? Is trying to do more, at this point, only going to do more harm?

 

pretty much sucks for everyone....family of the kid, the neighbors....ironically, everyone but the offenders.

 

I do know that both the punk and his dad should get the crap beat out of them.

 

Agreed.

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The police should be called. If there are no consequences for this type of behavior, why should anyone be surprised when it happens again in the future?

 

Agree, wrong is wrong. If this was an isolated incident and the parents of the boys that did this took action I could see not calling the police. But with the bad behavior leading up to and lack of parenting something needs to be done. Your kids should feel safe to go play in their neighborhood.

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That right there is the dilema my neighbor (and all of us, really, since our children will still be subjected to the son) is facing. He initially took the high road and tried to talk to the parents, to no avail. Then to later me confronted by the dad, saying he'd beat the sh*t out of him if he ever threatened his son....makes wanting to go to the police even more appealing. Its pretty obvious that the parents are more worried about defending their disaster of a son than actually dealing with what he did....at this point, the only option is to take it to a higher authority. But if they opt not to pursue....and all the kid gets is a talking to by the police about why this behavior is unacceptible....what are the repercussions down the road for the boy who was assaulted? Can he ever play outside again without fear? Can he walk the halls at school without the fear he is being teased and mocked? Is trying to do more, at this point, only going to do more harm?

 

pretty much sucks for everyone....family of the kid, the neighbors....ironically, everyone but the offenders.

 

 

 

Agreed.

 

 

Here's the thing. It is just "boys being boys" but it crosses the line of what is acceptable "boys being boys" behavior and has to be dealt with. Ideally the parents would have dealt with it. If I found out my son had done such a thing he would be in deep crap and I would do my best to teach him a lesson on what's appropriate. In this case since the parents obviously don't think it's that big of a deal your neighbors need to call the police to have them point out that it is a very big deal and unacceptable. If they don't then they are teaching their 11 year old son that it's ok to just cover these things up and in the future he might not even mention it when something similar happens. Worse, he could do the same thing to younger kids when he gets older because it happened to him and wasn't a big deal.

 

Sure, there will be some effects on the dynamics of the kids and parents in the neighborhood. Use it as an opportunity to get together with other parents and kids that aren't part of this group to establish safe places for them to hang out together where a parent will be around and talk to your son and others about looking out for each other and not accepting this kind of behavior. I am willing to bet that if every parent of every kid who witnessed this was made aware there would be at least a couple who were disturbed by it and would forbid their kids from going back to that house again. If the bullies start to see that this is causing them to lose friends then maybe, just maybe they will think about it next time. Typically with bullies I remember there were one or two in the group and everyone else just went along with them but when it came right down to it everyone else was just as scared of being a victim. Nip it now before it gets more serious!

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Have a garage poker party. Have the fathers of the other bullied kids come over. Invite the parent that was confronted but thought it was no big deal. When he shows up swarm him. Hold him down. Subject him to the same behavior his son dished out. Tell him its just boys being boys and then send him on home.

 

Try to have a bad case of mud butt before begining.

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This is actually a good point. My fear with boxing is that the sparring means the children will actually take repeated blows to the head whereas martial arts (at least I think) is a more passive sparring - at least when hits to the head are concerned. But I do think you're right in that boxing holds a little more real-world relevance in terms of self defense.

 

as long as they are wearing head gear, they should be alright and it would make them fear getting hit a little less as it would toughen them up - but I really mean on a light level of contact....

 

once they know they can take a few hits and get some repetition under their belts, they won't be so quick to fold....but even that may not be enough to overcome a bully as I think some kids end up building it up psychologically over time and end up freezing when the time comes....I don't know what the best method is, I just know martial arts is over-rated...

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Have a garage poker party. Have the fathers of the other bullied kids come over. Invite the parent that was confronted but thought it was no big deal. When he shows up swarm him. Hold him down. Subject him to the same behavior his son dished out. Tell him its just boys being boys and then send him on home.

 

Try to have a bad case of mud butt before begining.

 

this is actually genius....

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Do we choose to punish the child more harshly if the parent is an a-hole compared to if the parent had been a stand-up man? Is that just?

 

Is it "just"? Perhaps not. Unfortunately, assbag dad needs to learn that if HE doesn't discipline his kid, this is what happens.

 

You might say "it isn't fair to the kid" but he DID just rub his dick all over someone's face without consent. This isn't a poor Li'l Johnny kinda thing.

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at that point, two of the older kids dropped their pants, and started rubbing themselves (front and back) on the 11-year olds face. This went on for about 1 minute while the rest of the group was laughing, and while the younger kids was crying and yelling "stop".

Whoa, on initial reading I thought this was just an atomic situp type thing where they basically mooned the kid. If you got kids putting their naked peppers on another kids face that is way past the line of boys being boys "grab ass" type stuff. Anybody that glosses over that as a parent is a retard and the kids deserve to get whatever they get. It's probably not a crime but what if it is? There isn't any doubt they did it. No reason not to report it in any case. Just in case there are other things going on in the future it'd be better to show that they'll get in trouble if they cross the line in the community. But Ditkaless has the best suggestion so that could be a plan B.

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Whoa, on initial reading I thought this was just an atomic situp type thing where they basically mooned the kid. If you got kids putting their naked peppers on another kids face that is way past the line of boys being boys "grab ass" type stuff. Anybody that glosses over that as a parent is a retard and the kids deserve to get whatever they get. It's probably not a crime but what if it is? There isn't any doubt they did it. No reason not to report it in any case. Just in case there are other things going on in the future it'd be better to show that they'll get in trouble if they cross the line in the community. But Ditkaless has the best suggestion so that could be a plan B.

 

In the full story coming out in recent days, the kids didn't intentionally rub their peppers on the kid....they basically did the atomic situp thing, but by losing their balance while cornering him on the couch, they did indeed have their units up against his face.

 

Does that change anything? In the mind of the father of the kid who it happened to, it doesn't. I'm not so sure, since the intent to "get off" in some way by rubbing on his wasn't there. But then again, it doesn't change that fact that some kid had the peppers of two other kids rubbed on him.

 

BTW, so far, nothing has been done...other than the whole neighborhood getting wind of what happened, and their being a wierd pall over things...it was a beautiful weekend here, and hardly any kids were playing outside :wacko:

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