Cowboyz1

The Huddle vs Axe Elf a Grand Jury Hearing

Recommended Posts

<cry from the gallery in bad cockney-accented English>

He's a witch!!!!! Burn Him!!!!

 

:slap:

 

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think he's a witch?

Peasant 3: Well, he turned me into a newt!

Sir Bedevere: A newt?

Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.

Crowd: [shouts] Burn him anyway!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

$20 well spent IMO

 

 

Or $20 well not spent, depending on your perspective ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think he's a witch?

Peasant 3: Well, he turned me into a newt!

Sir Bedevere: A newt?

Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.

Crowd: [shouts] Burn him anyway!

 

 

I'm sure my apparently supernatural prowess at fantasy football must make it SEEM like I'm a witch, but I assure you, my prescient acumen was not beget from the black arts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My time is worth far more than the $20. I really couldn't care less about the money. Everyone who joined his league was under the assumption that we were going to be playing with a random schedule (not one created/manipulated by him). I'm not going to waste any more time interacting with him, because it really is just that... A waste of time. You can't reason with a crazy person, and he clearly fits that description to a T. I'll play out the season, but honestly, it's at the very bottom of my priority list at this point. Regardless, we're going to beat him like a rented mule, and the shady schedule-fixing isn't going to change that. This is my last post in an Axe-related thread.

 

For those who don't like the fact that this has stirred the pot, and generated a bit of discussion here, nobody is forcing you to follow along or participate in these threads. What's sort of comical is that some of the people who were interested in following the league itself (asking to see links to the draft, etc.), are the same ones who are now saying "I told you so."

 

Hindsight is 20/20.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

For those who don't like the fact that this has stirred the pot, and generated a bit of discussion here, nobody is forcing you to follow along or participate in these threads. What's sort of comical is that some of the people who were interested in following the league itself (asking to see links to the draft, etc.), are the same ones who are now saying "I told you so."

 

Hindsight is 20/20.

 

 

I think people wanted to follow the league itself in the draft and Yahoo clubhouse is to see the douchebaggery first hand of the keebler.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would also like to enter the following as an invaluable reference material for addressing the keebler elf:

http://i.imgur.com/dXCGBE0.png

 

 

I believe Tone Deaf Cock Goblin works nicely

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

I'm sure my apparently supernatural prowess at fantasy football must make it SEEM like I'm a witch, but I assure you, my prescient acumen was not beget from the black arts.

 

 

You do realize you are talking to the man that won the biggest prize in FF last year. Yes, the king of all kings...so I'd highly suggest you show a tad bit of respect or at least acknowledge the slight possibility he knows just a tad more than you do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Something about blind squirrels and nuts leaps to mind...

 

Still, I was talking about me, not him.

Edited by Axe Elf

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your honor, for my first expert witness I would like to call Dr. Sigmon Floyd to the stand. Dr. Floyd is an expert in delusional thought and Egomaniacal behaviour. He has written several books on the subject, most notably, "I am the Greatest, just ask me". He interviewed the defendant and will provide the court with his analysis.

 

I also plan to call two other witnesses from Yahoo leagues the defendant played in. They have come forward on their own volition in an effort to shed additional light on the state of mind of the defendant.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually screw it, I think DMD and WW should just ban his ass, as there aren't many things more despicable in the FF world than for a commish to manipulate a league where money is on the line to his own advantage beyond what's spelled out in the rules (the reason why I can understand some being unwillnig to let it go). Plenty have been banned here for far less, and he's shown that he wants to use this as his personal trolling playground to push buttons, get attention (and who knows, maybe to even try to scam a few bucks), not to the betterment of the forum.

 

It was amusing for a short period, but all he's doing now is trying to piss off people.

 

But either way, we'd all be best served to not feed the troll.

 

 

Thank you for that outburst. Bayliff give him a cookie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is abundantly clear at this point that he knows that this is not in any/way shape or form an acceptable way to formulate a schedule, even in a league with concessions, as this was not stated as a concession that the commish could manipulate the schedule as he sees fit, and to his own advantage. Most normal leagues would set the schedule before the draft for jsut this reason, and it would have to be stated if it would be done manually after the fact, not implied that anything goes. A commish's role is to ensure fairness, not to assume all powers not expressly prohibited to give himself an advantage.

 

But there is no point in trying to reason with him, when he knows damn well this is the case, and is just being intentionally obtuse.

 

I thought before that he might just be one of those owners who think that anything that's not expressly spelled out is allowed (which is despicable enough in itself), but it's clear he's just doing this to get off on the attention he receives, whether it be positive or negative. Trolling 101. Don't give him what he wants.

 

The prosecution rests it's case, and will not be seeking penalty unless site administration sees it fit to remove this unneeded distraction. We move that all members just ignore him, rather than validate his ridiculousness and sad excuse of an ego.

 

 

Exhibit C

 

This stands on its own your honor.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't mind some of the misguided name-calling and such, but it is rather irksome when you people speak about things that you don't seem to even care to understand. I have already said many times that I would return everyone's money, if they so wished--or even contribute my OWN money to the prize pool without being eligible for prizes, if they so wished--and nobody, not one, NONE of the axual league members have elected to request either of those options.

 

So to keep saying that it's a ploy to extract money from my students unfairly is, well, unfair.

 

What someone needs to do--if they really want to make a case here--is to demonstrate that the randomization of the schedule would somehow change the overall results--that different teams would get into the playoffs, and once in the playoffs, the outcome of the playoffs would be affected. In the absence of any evidence to substantiate that claim...

 

 

 

Exhibit D

 

The most DAmning evidence to date.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The fact he won't or can't acknowledge Henry Muto really bothers me. He won the grand poo-bha of FF titles last year...over $100k...but hey, lets take Axe"s word for it :oldrolleyes:

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BTW, for those wondering how to ignore a member, click on your username on the top bar, and "Manage Ignore Prefs". There you can enter the name of the sad pathetic troll you wish to ignore.

 

 

D.O.G.

 

Thanks for the info. I never had a reason to do this and had no clue. I can now go back to enjoying this forum.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DA Dr. Floyd you had a chance to speak to the defendant, in your professional opinion, what's wrong with the boy?

 

Dr This sort of things starts in the home. His behavior suggests that his parents neglected to teach him simple life tools. Moreover, the patient seems to have no real grasp on reality. He/she was most likely ignored in the home and was rarely spoken too in school. Most parents look upon their child with pride but in this case, they rarely even looked his way. I suspect something traumatic happened early on in childhood. He/she was bullied in school to the point that other weaker kids troubled him. This created what I like to call "Hero Envy".

 

DA please continue doctor

 

You see, when you're nothing and everyone knows you're nothing, there is a real desperation to become something. To break out and just once have the ability to be strong, smart, popular............a winner. The desperation is so great that the patient seeks any venue, any chance, no matter how slight, to become what he has never been. The internet provides a perfect opportunity for this patient to achieve this. His "Hero construct", began in the Yahoo leagues where there are many many lost and weak individuals looking for answers. His ego grew strong among the weak. He seeked out the weakest leagues and immersed himself in them.

 

The individual now emboldened by his early novice success, attempts to venture out into more challenging circles, where he soon finds himself over his head and overwhelmed. However, his ego will not allow for such reality acceptance, thus must resort to childish even devious tactics to achieve similar success. These individuals have patterned and predictable behaviour.

 

First the individual creates what I call an "oxymoron" persona. Typically choosing names that embody Power (ego driven) while at the same time reflect the true weakness in the individuals mind and psyche. Thus Baby Jane is a perfect depiction of this behaviour.

 

DA.....So Dr. in your professional opinion, what is your recommendation on treatment.

 

Dr.......There is but one effective treatment of this mental disorder and that is avoidance. You must avoid any and all attempts to engage. In this case, there is no rationalizing with him. You must isolate and ignore. There is no other way. Once the individual finds himself alone and isolated, then and only then will he consider his own actions and possibly change his/her behavior. It's the only way. I understand this to be somewhat harsh but In interviewing Baby Jane I found their to be an absolute denial to accept that fact that the individual shuffled into my office with his pants around his ankles. I asked a simple question, do you realize that your pants are around your ankles and your A$$ is showing? Baby Jane response, you like it, it's a good look huh!

 

Needless to say I was troubled, troubled indeed.

 

Thank you Dr. you may step down now.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lastly I would like to call Johnny D to the stand. Johnny is 12 your honor has was given permission to appear here by his parent.

 

Johnny, please take the stand.

 

DA.. Johnny can you tell me the first time you met the defendant Baby Jane.

 

Johnny...I really didn't know him all that well he just showed up from nowhere. He seemed to know a lot about stuff so most of the guys agreed to let him play.

 

DA...Play? what do you mean play.

 

Johnny...well me and some of the guys started a fantasy football league last year and one of the guys couldn't play cause of his grades so we had to find another player. We never had anyone outside of our troop before.

 

DA...Outside your troop son? What does that mean your group or circle of friends?

 

Johnny...No our troop. The league is our boy scout troop 119 league.

 

DA...I see. So let me understand this. Your Fantasy Football league consists of your boy scout troop members.

 

Johnny... Yes

 

DA...So if the league consists of only boys scouts how did Baby Jane get invited.

 

Johnny... Well we........well.......he really wasn't invited. He told us that if we let him in he would show us........well he would show us how to be better fantasy football players. And at first he did. He showed us how to draft RB RB first. He showed us how to do a live draft. I mean at first he was really helpful and seemed to know a lot more than we did. So we lied to our Scout Master and told him Baby Jane was a friend in another troop.

 

DA...So what happened next.

 

Johnny...He said he should be the commissioner and set up the league on Yahoo. He said that's where all the really good players play. So after the first two weeks and my best friend was 2-0, Baby Jane started to change all the rules. He told us the commissioner job is to make the league better. But after Baby Jane lost to my best friend he started to change everything. First he changed the scoring and the schedule and then told us it would cost 2 dollars for every player we wanted to pick up off waivers. He had more money than any of us so he got the best players always. When we got mad and said that wasn't fair he said we better get used to this kind of stuff cause that's the way the leagues are when we get older. He even made us take our dues and send them to him for a pot at the end. He said the top 5 players would win something but at the end, he changed the rules again and said we had to score a certain amount of points to get any part of the $10 pot. I didn't think that was fair either.

 

DA...I am so sorry that happened to you guys son. Can you tell me happened then.

 

Johnny...Well most of the guys just stopped playing by the end of the year cause we couldn't win. He had all the good QB's, RB's and WR's. since he changed the maximum number of players you could have to 28.

 

DA...28 players per team

 

Johnny.. Yeah, we thought that was kinda a lot but he said it was the best thing and that's how all the other leagues do it.

 

DA... Johnny, how old did you think Baby Jane was?

 

Johnny.. I think he was old now that think about it. Prolly 20 i guess. He said he was an Eagle Scout and was going to work at scout camp next year, but I think he was lying cause he didn't know what scouts honor was. I think he was lying the whole time. Big fat liar.

 

DA...Thank you Johnny. you may step down.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Given the expert testimony by Dr. Floyd and the heart wrenching account detailed by young Johnny. It is obvious that there is but one remedy in this case.

 

You honor I move to Eschew one Baby Jane and all aliases.

 

Proceed

 

Thank you your honor.

 

Baby Jane you have been found guilty of all counts. From this day forth and until further notice, Baby Jane shall be ignored.

 

Be advised all huddle members need only to submit ignore request sited in an aforementioned post to comply with this court order.

 

Unless there be any other pleadings or calls for mercy, this hearing is adjourned.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Judge Rayford: Mr. Kirkland you are out of order!

Arthur Kirkland: You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, beat $20 out of FFL people, and he'd like to do it again! He *told* me so! It's unspecified draft rules! It's a show! It's "Let's Make A Roster"! "Let's Make A Roster"! Hey Frank, you wanna "Make A Roster"? I got an insane judge who likes to beat the chives out of drafters! Whaddya wanna gimme Frank, 3 weeks of not starting my studs?

Edited by Joessfl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First, this thread is GOLD

 

Second, cowboys.... You have WAAAY too much time on your hands. :lol:

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Judge Rayford: Mr. Kirkland you are out of order!

Arthur Kirkland: You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, beat $20 out of FFL people, and he'd like to do it again! He *told* me so! It's unspecified draft rules! It's a show! It's "Let's Make A Roster"! "Let's Make A Roster"! Hey Frank, you wanna "Make A Roster"? I got an insane judge who likes to beat the chives out of drafters! Whaddya wanna gimme Frank, 3 weeks of not starting my studs?

 

 

That's the video clip I was trying to post way back in Post #5!

 

Well, sort of...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.