skylive5 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Boy, did she not see it coming. And boy does she hate me. Adn boy does she live just three blocks away. And boy did she go to the same high-school as my wife. 1280115[/snapback] Given any thought to moving to france? or Quebec? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Given any thought to moving to france? or Quebec? 1280119[/snapback] He was thinking of moving to France last year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 He was thinking of moving to France last year. 1280125[/snapback] I know... but he chickened out. Maybe he should rethink that considering his quandry now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 (edited) And as far as this married too young stuff.... probably applies now, but sure didn't when I was younger. She was 16.... I was 21. And we had to wait until those ages to get state approval or we would have been married sooner. Lot of marriages are still going on from those days of most getting married at 18-21. Different times, different attitudes, different maturity, different beliefs. I will say....on a lighter side of things.... that taking into consideration posts from around these here parts.... probably a good portion of you should wait until 40 or 50, if ever, before making a committment. 1279935[/snapback] They were different times back then Sky. Back then it made sense because people were so much more conservative on the topics of sex and marriage then they are now. I think the advancing average age in which people are getting married now is one of the few good trends we have going today. While I think diviorce will still remain high in society, I think one reason for those separations not to happen will be marring at a later age. Once again, as much as the average person may not want to admit it, most people are not ready for marriage at age 21. Edited January 21, 2006 by TDFFFreak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 I know people that lived together, it turned into a marriage, and it didn't work out. I also know people that lived together and it turned into a marriage that did work out. I also know people that lived together and are still living together after several handfulls of years. However all these experiences are with couples (or non-couples) are from the late 80's to now. My wife and I didn't live together before we were married. In fact I don't know anyone that lived together prior to marriage from those years. People didn't do that back then. Personally don't understand the living together prior to marriage concept. To me you either know or you don't. Everything else is worked out over the years. And as far as this married too young stuff.... probably applies now, but sure didn't when I was younger. She was 16.... I was 21. And we had to wait until those ages to get state approval or we would have been married sooner. Lot of marriages are still going on from those days of most getting married at 18-21. Different times, different attitudes, different maturity, different beliefs. 1279935[/snapback] there's two sides to that though, sky. obviously, the "old" way a lot of people ended up happy, but a lot also ended up alienated and feeling trapped in loveless marriages. a lot more people hit their early 20s and felt like something was wrong with them if they weren't getting hitched and having kids. yeah, the greater acceptance of premarital sex, divorce, etc. has its societal downside...mostly in the form of people leading indulgent, self-absorbed lifestyles. but it has its upside as well, as far as people having greater control over their life as they grow and mature, and thus perhaps a greater chance, for some types of people, of finding a more complete romantic fulfillment. you know, if you go a little further out in the "old ways" direction, to the days and places of arranged marriages of teenagers and the like, you can see definites plusses to that way of doing it too. generational ties are stronger, the family unit is unassailable, everything is predictable and stable. and a lot of people who married in that sort of environment ended up completely happy and in love. but i think we can all see the downside to that sort of society as well. in short, i guess what i'm saying is, social mores change, and the good old days become old for a reason. the changes aren't always for the good, but far too often people wax nostalgic about the past without fully considering the problems with the old ways or why our society discarded them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 They were different times back then Sky. Back then it made sense because people were so much more conservative on the topics of sex and marriage then they are now. 1280153[/snapback] You may be right... and you may be wrong. One must remember that the Sexual Revolution started in the 1960. I'm as sure about the conservative approach on the TOPIC of sex and marriage as I am on the conservative approach TO sex and marriage. Those were 'long term' subjects not to be taken lightly. One entered into both seriously. Probably in error for the majority.... but I just get this feeling that in this day and age marriage is a contract between two people and it can be broken or it has an end date. Sorta like an NFL contract. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 You may be right... and you may be wrong. One must remember that the Sexual Revolution started in the 1960. I'm as sure about the conservative approach on the TOPIC of sex and marriage as I am on the conservative approach TO sex and marriage. Those were 'long term' subjects not to be taken lightly. One entered into both seriously. Probably in error for the majority.... but I just get this feeling that in this day and age marriage is a contract between two people and it can be broken or it has an end date. Sorta like an NFL contract. 1280176[/snapback] Sex is different then relationships, love and marriage. Most men know this distinction and wish women could understand that better perhaps. I do believe you need to work to earn a divorce, that said I think we are seeing a lot more early divorces now (ones that happen before people have kids or the early years of marriage) as opposed to mid-life ones where the people have been so unhappy for so long. I'm not entirely sure which is better, but I am fairly certain getting out of a bad marriage and bad home before you bring kids into the picture is a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 there's two sides to that though, sky. obviously, the "old" way a lot of people ended up happy, but a lot also ended up alienated and feeling trapped in loveless marriages. a lot more people hit their early 20s and felt like something was wrong with them if they weren't getting hitched and having kids. yeah, the greater acceptance of premarital sex, divorce, etc. has its societal downside...mostly in the form of people leading indulgent, self-absorbed lifestyles. but it has its upside as well, as far as people having greater control over their life as they grow and mature, and thus perhaps a greater chance, for some types of people, of finding a more complete romantic fulfillment. you know, if you go a little further out in the "old ways" direction, to the days and places of arranged marriages of teenagers and the like, you can see definites plusses to that way of doing it too. generational ties are stronger, the family unit is unassailable, everything is predictable and stable. and a lot of people who married in that sort of environment ended up completely happy and in love. but i think we can all see the downside to that sort of society as well. in short, i guess what i'm saying is, social mores change, and the good old days become old for a reason. the changes aren't always for the good, but far too often people wax nostalgic about the past without fully considering the problems with the old ways or why our society discarded them. 1280174[/snapback] Hey look at that. I posted my response to sky's last post before reading your response Azazello. I agree with you whole heartedly. Things change for a reason, sometimes good, sometimes not so good, but there is often a reason for the change and often it can be for the better. Sometimes we mistake "simple" for "better." But life and love are very complicated as many of you would have to agree... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 "And as far as this married too young stuff.... probably applies now, but sure didn't when I was younger. She was 16.... I was 21. And we had to wait until those ages to get state approval or we would have been married sooner. Lot of marriages are still going on from those days of most getting married at 18-21. Different times, different attitudes, different maturity, different beliefs." I get quoted but not understood.... I don't wax nostalgic for the old days. I give credit to the changing of the times, morales, and beliefs. I may, once in awhile, wax nostalgic about a simpler time and a time when you knew where everyone stood. When a handshake was as a persons bond and as good, or better, than any written contract. When hidden motives were usually out in the open and not hidden. But heck.... I'm old. Yes... the majority of arranged marriages... shotgun weddings... and the like, probably ended up unhappy. But that wasn't the subject. Living together prior to marriage (or separation) and don't get married 'too young' were. And even now I don't agree with either subject... though I am fully aware that I am outmoded. Maybe the problem is that everyone is in such a hurry they miss waiting to come upon the right person to live their life with. Heck, I donno. I do know, though, that when love comes up and hits you right between the eyes you should pay attention when you get back up off the ground. And it only happens once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 (edited) And then again maybe I am completly off base and missed the point. Edited January 21, 2006 by skylive5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 it's a documented fact that the divorce rate is higher among the most strict religious groups (i.e., people who think "living in sin" is absolutely scandalous and would not do it), yeah, thats a bold faced lie you pulled outa your asz. Do people live together and actually evaluate the relationship, and sometimes back out? I lived with a chick for a couple years, I was working full time, she was going to school. She was getting 'mature' she thought, and didn't like me going out, she finally said it's her or the booze. I helped her pack. Her family really liked me, my family didn't like her at all. It was the best thing to ever happen to me. Now I am happily married with a great kid, she is living by herself, going to law school, aging, gaining weight, and has a bunch of cats. Think crazy cat lady in simspons. She was great in the sack at first though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Yes... the majority of arranged marriages... shotgun weddings... and the like, probably ended up unhappy. But that wasn't the subject. Living together prior to marriage (or separation) and don't get married 'too young' were. And even now I don't agree with either subject... though I am fully aware that I am outmoded. Different strokes for different folks; personally, I don't necessarily subscribe to the "soulmate" theory of love - some people find true love with the girl next door in 7th grade, some travel far and wide and never find it; don't get me wrong, I'm thoroughly happy and love the crap out of my wife (our friends regard us as some sort of super-couple for whatever reason ), but if I'd gone to a different school or in the military or whatever, I'm pretty sure I would have ended up married to a woman equally as wonderful and compatible (or maybe not, who knows). But as far as age at marriage, I don't think there's any magic pill - some people married straight out of HS can have a long and fulfilling marriage, some will not. I just think it's better, as a rule of thumb, to get a little life experience and see new places and things before you settle down and start poppin' out kids. But again, JMHO. Maybe the problem is that everyone is in such a hurry they miss waiting to come upon the right person to live their life with. Heck, I donno. I do know, though, that when love comes up and hits you right between the eyes you should pay attention when you get back up off the ground. And it only happens once. 1280196[/snapback] Don't know if you recall my story of my first (actually second, but we didn't realize it at the time) meeting of my wife, but that was about it; I walked into a kitchen, saw her, she smiled at me, and I just about walked into a wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonorator Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 I'm as sure about the conservative approach on the TOPIC of sex and marriage as I am on the conservative approach that TO takes on sex and marriage. 1280176[/snapback] please sky, not another thread about TO ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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