A question of ethics

[Grits and Shins]

And before you say "if you have to ask" read my question (it is a long one).

 

My daughter has been playing softball for more than several years now. Back when I was coaching her I developed her at the catcher position and she was pretty good. A couple of years ago it was time for both of us to take a break and we took a season off. I really expected that it was our last season of softball.

 

She started missing softball and decided she wanted to play again, but at the recreational level. Played a couple of seasons there and decided that her softball career was over because recreational ball was drying up.

 

UNTIL the coach of her last recreational team called her and invited her to join a select team they were forming.

 

Here is where the problems began. Head coach's daughter, call her Jamie, was a catcher with no ability to play anywhere else on the field. At first my daughter split time with her behind the plate until eventually my daughter was phased out at catcher. They tried my daughter at 2nd and SS but she is not a very good infielder. They tried her in the OF but she wasn't very good out there either, not having a very good eye for the ball. This team never did very well (okay it sucked) and my daughter refused to leave because of her loyalty to her friends (including the coach's daughter). The time finally fell apart last fall.

 

Both my daughter and Jamie made the JV team as freshmen. Jamie started the year as the catcher but only lasted 5 games before being permanently benched from the catcher position. Did I mention that Jamie is not a very good catcher and that my daughter is a much better catcher? When trying out for the high school team my daughter tried out for the OF and did not mention that she was a catcher because she didn't want to cut into her friend's play time.

 

So my daughter has been starting in CF and her friend finally starting playing 1B when our original starting 1st basemen failed to qualify academically for the team. My daughter has been improving in CF and seems to play much better in LF but could certainly use more reps in the OF.

 

Fast forward, HS season is over and both girls are looking for a select team to play on. Jamie found a team and Jamie's dad gave me the coach's name telling me that the team was still looking for OFs. I take my daughter to open try outs on Sunday. Interestingly enough the coach has 2 teams 16U and an 18U and is trying out for both teams.

 

My daughter tried out for OF but ALSO tried out for catcher.

 

Yup, we got the call today. The team wants her to be the primary catcher for the 18U team. Jamie is on the 16U team. Is it wrong for my daughter to take the catcher position on this team when Jamie's dad gave us the tip for the team and he wants his daughter to be a catcher? Does it make a difference if we already know in advance that the 16U team won't exist next year?

[chiefjay]

No, of course not and I'm surprised you had to ask.

[skins]

no

 

next

[dmarc117]

NO

[Footballjoe]

I don't see anything wrong with it. I think your daughter should make any coach she plays for aware of the positions she can play. Its a team game and everyone should be willing to play the position they are best at or are needed.

[Azazello1313]

i think she needs a new bat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Grits and Shins]

i think she needs a new bat.

 

 

Well ... since she just got one ... you are likely wrong.

[irish]

 

Yup, we got the call today. The team wants her to be the primary catcher for the 18U team. Jamie is on the 16U team. Is it wrong for my daughter to take the catcher position on this team when Jamie's dad gave us the tip for the team and he wants his daughter to be a catcher? Does it make a difference if we already know in advance that the 16U team won't exist next year?

 

No. and No.

 

It's not your problem that your daughter is the better catcher and was selected for the position she plays best regardless of who gave you the tip.

 

And it's certainly not your fault that you know the 16U team will be gone next year, taking with it Jaime's PT.

 

I'm shocked that you care about this stuff as your daughter is and should come first in your eyes and get what she's earned and you shouldn't be worrying where the chips fall for others, especially if they're competing with your daughter at the same position. Showing weakness to your daughter because you feel bad for the other girl will only set a bad example in terms of competitiveness for her.

 

Best of luck to your daughter and continue to support her as you have in the past. End of story.

Edited April 18, 2007 by irish

[Bier Meister]

not wrong for anyone to go for the position they want/are best at. also nothing wrong with saying "hey, my preference is for C, but i am willing to play another position if it's in the best interest of the team"

[dmarc117]

to hold your daughter back only becasue you dont want to hurt her friend's feelings is doing a huge disservice to her.

[Grits and Shins]

Did I mention that my daughter is 14?

[godtomsatan]

No......as a matter of fact, if I read this correctly, they aren't even playing on the same team. Let Jamie play U16 and improve her skills. Let your daughter play U18 and improve hers.....

[irish]

Did I mention that my daughter is 14?

 

 

Doesn't matter. All that means is that she has an even greater opportunity at a younger age. Good for her in beating out older kids for the spot she truly enjoys playing.

[Grits and Shins]

Here they are, Jamie on the left, my daughter on the right

 

I couldn't pass on this opportunity to show off my daughter

Edited April 18, 2007 by Grits and Shins

[irish]

Here they are, Jamie on the right, my daughter on the left

 

I couldn't pass on this opportunity to show off my daughter

 

 

So not only is your daughter the better catcher but she's prettier as well. Wow, that's gotta suck for the other girl!! By the way how tall is you daughter?

Edited April 18, 2007 by irish

[Grits and Shins]

Father & daughter

[irish]

Father & daughter

 

 

Sh!t!!!! You're gigantic and that pic looks nothing like some of the other photos I've seen of you. No wonder where she gets her height. You look like you're 6'6" and she's like 5"8"/9". How close am I?

 

By the way your fingers look like premio sausages.

Edited April 18, 2007 by irish

[geeteebee]

What would Coach Julio do?

[Grits and Shins]

What would Coach Julio do?

 

 

Coach Julio has "daddy eyes" for his son (even though he likes to pretend that he doesn't) ... there never would have been a question that his son should play where he wants. As a matter of fact he would probably coach a team to ensure that his son gets a "fair shake" ... oh wait, that's exactly what he did.

[Brentastic]

I can't imagine holding back my child based on the feelings of someone else. Granted, I don't have kids..........yet. IMO, the main problem with our society is people failing to see the truth. If this other family can't see it, then they need to. It's your duty to do what's best for your daughter, IMO.

[Brentastic]

Father & daughter

 

Damn, you're a lot thicker than I pictured. I always picture you as a late 70s Chuck Norris. I hope your daughter kicks some asse this summer

[Grits and Shins]

I can't imagine holding back my child based on the feelings of someone else. Granted, I don't have kids..........yet. IMO, the main problem with our society is people failing to see the truth. If this other family can't see it, then they need to. It's your duty to do what's best for your daughter, IMO.

 

 

Don't get me wrong. After the try out it was apparent to me that my daughter would not likely make the cut as an out fielder but might as a catcher ... so we talked about many of these things. While she is a little uncomfortable with potentially unseating her friend her response was "perhaps it is better for the team if Jamie doesn't catch". I think she is tired of not playing the position she most enjoys so that Jamie can struggle at that position. Her and Jamie are fairly close friends so it will be interesting to see how this impacts their relationship.

 

She said she would take a position as catcher.

 

When I got the call tonight the thing that made me most uncomfortable is that she is 14 and will be playing on an 18U team. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that ... but my daughter was very excited about the prospect of catching, especially when the coach thought her good enough for the 18U team. I'm also wondering how my 14 (15 in august) year old daughter will fit in with 17-18 year olds. And, yes, I did wonder how Jamie's dad would respond.

 

The other thing that crossed our mind is that we were hoping to get her OF reps in an effort to improve her chances at making next year's varsity team as an OF. Well, obviously, she won't be getting those reps so she might have put herself back on the JV team. But that is for the future, she is just excited to be playing again.

[Grits and Shins]

Damn, you're a lot thicker than I pictured. I always picture you as a late 70s Chuck Norris. I hope your daughter kicks some asse this summer

 

 

I was skinnier in the "Chi-Lites" picture as that was quite a few years ago. While I don't really think of myself as a "big" apparently everybody else does. I never really think I hit anybody hard either, but they whine about that too.

[Brentastic]

Don't get me wrong. After the try out it was apparent to me that my daughter would not likely make the cut as an out fielder but might as a catcher ... so we talked about many of these things. While she is a little uncomfortable with potentially unseating her friend her response was "perhaps it is better for the team if Jamie doesn't catch". I think she is tired of not playing the position she most enjoys so that Jamie can struggle at that position. Her and Jamie are fairly close friends so it will be interesting to see how this impacts their relationship.

 

She said she would take a position as catcher.

 

When I got the call tonight the thing that made me most uncomfortable is that she is 14 and will be playing on an 18U team. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that ... but my daughter was very excited about the prospect of catching, especially when the coach thought her good enough for the 18U team. I'm also wondering how my 14 (15 in august) year old daughter will fit in with 17-18 year olds. And, yes, I did wonder how Jamie's dad would respond.

 

The other thing that crossed our mind is that we were hoping to get her OF reps in an effort to improve her chances at making next year's varsity team as an OF. Well, obviously, she won't be getting those reps so she might have put herself back on the JV team. But that is for the future, she is just excited to be playing again.

 

I gotta say, I do applaud the thoughtfulness expressed by you and your daughter, that's something else lacking in our society. I think she will do fine with the older girls, if anything she will be toughned up (in a social sense) if the kids treat her bad. Nothing like an athlete feeling they have something to prove. Basically, I see nothing but good happening from this experience, she'll either get along fine or be toughened and more motivated if not.

[jaxfactor]

I was skinnier in the "Chi-Lites" picture as that was quite a few years ago. While I don't really think of myself as a "big" apparently everybody else does. I never really think I hit anybody hard either, but they whine about that too.

 

 

 

You're gonna be, if you haven't already, hitting the young dudes off of your daughter. She's a pretty one. Your not so bad lookin' yourself there Grits. Remember, this is coming from a ghey cat owner.

I wish your daughter the best of luck on her new team and hope she kicks some serious ass. I wouldn't worry about the best friend thing. If they're truly best friends, then her friend has to realize that she's not very good and hope that your daughter succeeds.