This is so hot

[cliaz]

What Does an Ideal Bowel Movement Look Like?

 

An ideal bowel movement is medium brown, the color of plain cardboard. It leaves the body easily with no straining or discomfort. It should have the consistency of toothpaste, and be approximately 4 to 8 inches long. Stool should enter the water smoothly and slowly fall once it reaches the water. There should be little gas or odor.

[Hugh 0ne]

There should be little gas or odor.

 

[Kramer]I'm out!!![/Kramer]

[bpwallace49]

W

T

F

[evil_gop_liars]

John Kellogg?

[matt770]

So if I'm laying down thick black bricks that hit the water like Chris Farley belly flopping into a kiddie pool, and smell like death, is there a potential issue here?

[tazinib1]

That means every chick I have ever known has some serious issues.

[Dutch Oven]

That means every chick I have ever known has some serious issues.

 

Cleveland Steamer

[matt770]

Dammit, I was so looking forward to this turkey sandwich.

[i_am_the_swammi]

It should have the consistency of toothpaste

 

I think I am good on checking on this trait, thanks very much.

[cliaz]

So if I'm laying down thick black bricks that hit the water like Chris Farley belly flopping into a kiddie pool, and smell like death, is there a potential issue here?

 

 

Stool That Sinks Quickly

 

Rapidly sinking stool can indicate that a person isn't eating enough fiber-rich foods, such as vegetables, fruits, and whole grains, or drinking enough water. This stool is often dark because they have been sitting in the intestines for a prolonged time.

[peepinmofo]

So what if you are pissing out of your ass, and it burns like hell?

[cliaz]

So what if you are pissing out of your ass, and it burns like hell?

 

Use a thicker, water based lubricant

[paulzale]

So what if you are pissing out of your ass, and it burns like hell?

Less Asian/Mexican food!

[peepinmofo]

Use a thicker, water based lubricant

Thanks!

 

Less Asian/Mexican food!

I think it was buffalo wings and BBQ. But yeah, less might be the answer.

[whomper]

Had a bout with roids back in the day. Had an asian woman Dr. that was my surgeon. She described the ideal log as having the consistency of a cigar. She recomended taking fiber pills every day but when you take it you should do so with very little water which solidifies everything in there . While she was telling me this all I can think of was her giving me the rusty trumbone while she was back there

[redrumjuice]

No, this is hot. I can't stop touching myself.

[cliaz]

No, this is hot. I can't stop touching myself.

 

 

That kid will be doing the

when he gets older

[buddahj]

No, this is hot. I can't stop touching myself.

This is more disturbing than this thread on "your ideal poop".

Edited December 10, 2010 by buddahj

[JoJoTheWebToedBoy]

Less Asian/Mexican food!

 

Nope, definately Indian Food..... That stuff produces some of the foulest material ever to leave a human body

[JoJoTheWebToedBoy]

Oh, and by the way...... This thread is Comedy Gold.

[SEC=UGA]

No, this is hot. I can't stop touching myself.

 

Ok, I'm not reading that, the first picture ran me off... Why has her husband/child's dad not beaten the holy living sh!t out of her. What she is doing is criminal and child abuse. That, and she looks like a freaking cave woman with that large sloping forehead.

[i_am_the_swammi]

Spent the day out with some buds watching the games, and enjoying some beverages & wings. I should have been good with the wings, but I had to go ahead and try the house specialty, its Sunday Prime Rib Sandwich, though while spectacular, had a thick cheese on top. I knew it would be trouble.

 

Fast forward to this AM...couple cups of coffee to get things going, kids leave for school, and I troll in to visit my maker, newspaper in hand. I thought sure it would be a quick satisfying visit, especially with the coffee rejuvenating the wing sauce from late yesterday afternoon. 5 minutes, and things begin to stir. I could tell it was going to be larger than usual, as my internal gurgling was north of my sternum. I braced myself. Nothing. I put forth a better effort by leveraging myself on the adjacent wall, feet firmly planted. I could feel the head of the beast push forth. One more strain, I thought, should do the trick. With a mighty effort, I bore down, face red, beads of sweat forming at the brow. After several seconds, an explosion not unlike those described to me by my grandfather who fought in both WWII was experienced. I was frightened to look, as the relieved pressure on my lower abdomen could likely only be matched by the destruction that awaited me in the bowl below. I worked up my courage, feeling a bit like a passerby witnessing a car accident: while I knew it would be bad, I just had to see. I wish I hadn't Below was a softball-sized lump, surrounded by an orangey froth likely made that way from the hot sauce. The odor was more than I could bear..in cartoon-like fashion, I could almost see it emitting from the bowl. I quickly composed myself, as I had to clean-up and get as far away as possible. Knwoing that I couldn't risk a clog by adding paper to the demon already in the bowl, I flushed first. Trouble. A formidable foe, he wasn't going anywhere. As the water slowly made its way beneath the obstruction, the orangey froth was now coating the side of the bowl. I needed to flush again quickly before risking corrosion to the sidewall, but I knew the more I prolonged clean-up the crusiter things would become. I flushed, hoping for the best, and in shocking fashion, the oceans parted, and I waved goodbye to my little friend. While it took several minutes of dedicated scrubbing to get myself back together, I can honestly say it might have been the most satisfying session of my adult life.

 

Had I only allowed myself time for a well-deserved nap, my day would be complete.

[The Holy Roller]

Spent the day out with some buds watching the games, and enjoying some beverages & wings. I should have been good with the wings, but I had to go ahead and try the house specialty, its Sunday Prime Rib Sandwich, though while spectacular, had a thick cheese on top. I knew it would be trouble.

 

Fast forward to this AM...couple cups of coffee to get things going, kids leave for school, and I troll in to visit my maker, newspaper in hand. I thought sure it would be a quick satisfying visit, especially with the coffee rejuvenating the wing sauce from late yesterday afternoon. 5 minutes, and things begin to stir. I could tell it was going to be larger than usual, as my internal gurgling was north of my sternum. I braced myself. Nothing. I put forth a better effort by leveraging myself on the adjacent wall, feet firmly planted. I could feel the head of the beast push forth. One more strain, I thought, should do the trick. With a mighty effort, I bore down, face red, beads of sweat forming at the brow. After several seconds, an explosion not unlike those described to me by my grandfather who fought in both WWII was experienced. I was frightened to look, as the relieved pressure on my lower abdomen could likely only be matched by the destruction that awaited me in the bowl below. I worked up my courage, feeling a bit like a passerby witnessing a car accident: while I knew it would be bad, I just had to see. I wish I hadn't Below was a softball-sized lump, surrounded by an orangey froth likely made that way from the hot sauce. The odor was more than I could bear..in cartoon-like fashion, I could almost see it emitting from the bowl. I quickly composed myself, as I had to clean-up and get as far away as possible. Knwoing that I couldn't risk a clog by adding paper to the demon already in the bowl, I flushed first. Trouble. A formidable foe, he wasn't going anywhere. As the water slowly made its way beneath the obstruction, the orangey froth was now coating the side of the bowl. I needed to flush again quickly before risking corrosion to the sidewall, but I knew the more I prolonged clean-up the crusiter things would become. I flushed, hoping for the best, and in shocking fashion, the oceans parted, and I waved goodbye to my little friend. While it took several minutes of dedicated scrubbing to get myself back together, I can honestly say it might have been the most satisfying session of my adult life.

 

Had I only allowed myself time for a well-deserved nap, my day would be complete.

 

I am now an Eagles fan. We salute you!

[Hugh 0ne]

Spent the day out with some buds watching the games, and enjoying some beverages & wings. I should have been good with the wings, but I had to go ahead and try the house specialty, its Sunday Prime Rib Sandwich, though while spectacular, had a thick cheese on top. I knew it would be trouble.

 

Fast forward to this AM...couple cups of coffee to get things going, kids leave for school, and I troll in to visit my maker, newspaper in hand. I thought sure it would be a quick satisfying visit, especially with the coffee rejuvenating the wing sauce from late yesterday afternoon. 5 minutes, and things begin to stir. I could tell it was going to be larger than usual, as my internal gurgling was north of my sternum. I braced myself. Nothing. I put forth a better effort by leveraging myself on the adjacent wall, feet firmly planted. I could feel the head of the beast push forth. One more strain, I thought, should do the trick. With a mighty effort, I bore down, face red, beads of sweat forming at the brow. After several seconds, an explosion not unlike those described to me by my grandfather who fought in both WWII was experienced. I was frightened to look, as the relieved pressure on my lower abdomen could likely only be matched by the destruction that awaited me in the bowl below. I worked up my courage, feeling a bit like a passerby witnessing a car accident: while I knew it would be bad, I just had to see. I wish I hadn't Below was a softball-sized lump, surrounded by an orangey froth likely made that way from the hot sauce. The odor was more than I could bear..in cartoon-like fashion, I could almost see it emitting from the bowl. I quickly composed myself, as I had to clean-up and get as far away as possible. Knwoing that I couldn't risk a clog by adding paper to the demon already in the bowl, I flushed first. Trouble. A formidable foe, he wasn't going anywhere. As the water slowly made its way beneath the obstruction, the orangey froth was now coating the side of the bowl. I needed to flush again quickly before risking corrosion to the sidewall, but I knew the more I prolonged clean-up the crusiter things would become. I flushed, hoping for the best, and in shocking fashion, the oceans parted, and I waved goodbye to my little friend. While it took several minutes of dedicated scrubbing to get myself back together, I can honestly say it might have been the most satisfying session of my adult life.

 

Had I only allowed myself time for a well-deserved nap, my day would be complete.

 

Cliaz will probably rub one out to this.

[slambo]

Spent the day out with some buds watching the games, and enjoying some beverages & wings. I should have been good with the wings, but I had to go ahead and try the house specialty, its Sunday Prime Rib Sandwich, though while spectacular, had a thick cheese on top. I knew it would be trouble.

 

Fast forward to this AM...couple cups of coffee to get things going, kids leave for school, and I troll in to visit my maker, newspaper in hand. I thought sure it would be a quick satisfying visit, especially with the coffee rejuvenating the wing sauce from late yesterday afternoon. 5 minutes, and things begin to stir. I could tell it was going to be larger than usual, as my internal gurgling was north of my sternum. I braced myself. Nothing. I put forth a better effort by leveraging myself on the adjacent wall, feet firmly planted. I could feel the head of the beast push forth. One more strain, I thought, should do the trick. With a mighty effort, I bore down, face red, beads of sweat forming at the brow. After several seconds, an explosion not unlike those described to me by my grandfather who fought in both WWII was experienced. I was frightened to look, as the relieved pressure on my lower abdomen could likely only be matched by the destruction that awaited me in the bowl below. I worked up my courage, feeling a bit like a passerby witnessing a car accident: while I knew it would be bad, I just had to see. I wish I hadn't Below was a softball-sized lump, surrounded by an orangey froth likely made that way from the hot sauce. The odor was more than I could bear..in cartoon-like fashion, I could almost see it emitting from the bowl. I quickly composed myself, as I had to clean-up and get as far away as possible. Knwoing that I couldn't risk a clog by adding paper to the demon already in the bowl, I flushed first. Trouble. A formidable foe, he wasn't going anywhere. As the water slowly made its way beneath the obstruction, the orangey froth was now coating the side of the bowl. I needed to flush again quickly before risking corrosion to the sidewall, but I knew the more I prolonged clean-up the crusiter things would become. I flushed, hoping for the best, and in shocking fashion, the oceans parted, and I waved goodbye to my little friend. While it took several minutes of dedicated scrubbing to get myself back together, I can honestly say it might have been the most satisfying session of my adult life.

 

Had I only allowed myself time for a well-deserved nap, my day would be complete.

 

How many courics would you rate it at?.