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Read this if you have kids


muck
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An update on my cousin, from his wife:

 

"I've hesitated sending updates because it sometimes seems like the medical information always changes. I’m busy keeping a baby happy, caring for a husband, and keeping a house running so email falls down on my priority list. But, because he isn't great at updating his blog, I thought I'd send an update in the new year.

 

He began radiation on December 26. He'll do 28 sessions total, going 5 days a week with his chemo pump dripping continuously on during those days. (His last day will be February 2.) The chemo dose isn’t as strong as his bi-weekly treatments, but because it’s ongoing, the effects are similar.

 

He’s very, very tired and his neuropathy is pretty bad. He also gets a drug called avasten (I doubt I spelled it correctly) every two weeks that kills blood vessels to the tumor. This isn't a new drug - it was one of the drugs given with his chemo since July. Once radiation is complete, the plan is that he will rest and recover for 4 to 6 weeks before surgery at MD Anderson in Houston. The doctors want him to gain strength, eat, rest, etc. So, right now it looks like surgery in March or April. This is the plan and could change at the doctors’ discretion. For example, Houston will run tests before his surgery, if the tumor isn’t a size that they prefer to operate on, he will go through additional chemo treatments to shrink the tumor further. I’m not excited about that option, but the doctors are the experts and know best.

 

I’m asked two questions frequently – How am I doing and what can I do to help. Well… I’m doing as well as can be expected. I have good days and bad days. I try to take out my frustrations on the treadmill when I have energy and our little son seems to hold the keys to making me smile. It’s also difficult to see someone you love endure a lot of pain and fatigue when you can do nothing to help. We try to make the most of every “good” day and don’t plan anything as our lives are on hold until medical issues can be resolved. My answer to those who want to help is prayers and good thoughts. I get many volunteers to help with our son but that is the last of my duties that I will give away as he is my angel and lifeline.

 

I try to remember that this battle is more like a marathon than a quick race. It requires stamina and ongoing strength and after almost 8 months, I’m ready for surgery and the recovery process to begin. I can never adequately thank you for all of the prayers, meals, cards, good thought, concern, and support. Words can never express enough gratitude and I’m so blessed to have family and friends here during the most difficult time of our lives. Please continue to pray for our family and for healing. We will keep the information coming."

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Thanks for the update... some of these threads disappear off the front page and its easy to forget that the problems go on for a long time.

 

And to the original point... still a very good idea to get that long term disability and life insurance!

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  • 2 months later...

Update: Surgery was last week. He's doing well and is hopeful to travel back to KC from Houston on Friday.

 

Here's a link to a spot on our local news last night that featured my cousin. Click here to see it. The video that this links to lasts longer than the clip w/ my cousin on it, but he is the first minute or two.

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You got that insurance in a irrevocable life insurance trust, right? Otherwise, your corpse might not be worth as you think.

 

In a what? As far as I know, if I snuff it, Mrs UM receives a fat check from my employer 'cos the insurance is through them. Kids are flown, so no need to worry about them. Mrs UM will be able to pay off the house and live a life of reasonable ease.

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You got that insurance in a irrevocable life insurance trust, right? Otherwise, your corpse might not be worth as you think.

 

 

Please explain more. I'm sure it varies state to state, but how should the average schmuck protect life insurance payments so they actually go to the beneficiaries?

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Please explain more. I'm sure it varies state to state, but how should the average schmuck protect life insurance payments so they actually go to the beneficiaries?

 

If you don't expect to be affected by federal estate tax, it doesn't really matter. But with estate tax exemptions slated to go back down to $1 million in 2011 - and many proposals to change that floating around - its real hard for people to know if their estate will be taxable or not. But lets plan like you're going to die this year, just for sake of illustration.

 

We've currently got a $2 million, per person, exemption from estate tax. So a married couple with $4 million of community property is safe. Here's the problem: life insurance proceeds, while not taxable for income tax purposes, *is* taxable for estate tax purposes. So take all your stuff, then add in the insurance proceeds. Now do you cross that $4 million line?

 

If so, you can structure your insurance in what is called an "ILIT" (or irrevocable life insurance trust). Because it's irrevocable (i.e., once you put stuff in it, you can't really get it back), the trust is a separate taxpayer. Thus, when you die the life insurance proceeds are not taxable in your estate. Technically, the ILIT cannot directly pay your estate taxes for you. There are two classic ways to get around that problem. First, the ILIT can loan the money to your estate and, over time, the estate pays the money back to the ILIT. Since the beneficiaries of your estate and the ILIT are most likely the same, they probably don't care. Second, the ILIT can purchase assets from your estate. This is a nifty way to keep certain assets held in trust, too, for those who want to do some generational wealth/tax planning.

 

If you're setting up an ILIT for the first time you can either gift an existing policy to it, or start up a new one. Most people then make "annual exclusion" gifts to the ILIT (currently $12k, muliplied by the number of ILIT beneficiaries) so that the ILIT can pay the premiums, but you don't make any current gifts that have to be reported to the IRS. Yeah, it costs a little money to set up and administer the ILIT, and perhaps your kids would rather have $12,000 cash each year compared to seeing insurance premiums being paid. But hey, the maximum rate for the estate tax is like 45% right now. So keeping your life insurance proceeds from being taxed at that high a rate most likely outweighs the costs of the ILIT by leaps and bounds.

 

Though, I'd like to repeat my prior point that if you will not have a taxable estate to begin with (stuff + insurance proceeds) then structuring your insurance through an ILIT is probably a waste of time and money.

Edited by yo mama
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In a what? As far as I know, if I snuff it, Mrs UM receives a fat check from my employer 'cos the insurance is through them.

 

She will, and they won't take any taxes out for INCOME tax purposes. The life insurance proceeds will, however, have to be reported on your estate tax return. But if your insurance is run through an employer, there's not much you can do about that. You only really want to use an ILIT for insurance you get set up yourself.

 

However, if it makes you feel better, assuming you die first you'll be able to give the Mrs. all the cash your corpse has and no estate tax *should* be due upon your death. (This is because of the estate tax marital deduction). However, any remaining proceeds/assets would then be taxable in her estate when she dies, assuming she owns more stuff than the then existing estate tax exemption.

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I have Aflac accident and big "C" insurance where I work. Combined they only cost 17.85 every 2 wks. Three weeks after signing up, a colleague of mine was diagnosed with brain and lung cancer. Because of Aflac she was allowed to receive new proceedures that were not covered by traditional health insurance. At the onset she was given 6 mos. to live, but survived for 2 and a half more years. If your company doesn't offer insurance like this, I suggest that you ask your HR person to check into it. It was a Godsend to my friend and consequently for those of us who loved her. Where I work it is transferrable if you quit. I got a check from my accident policy when I chipped a tooth on some guacamole dip that had the avocado stem in it as an added treat! I didn't sue because I was the unfortunate one who made it! I'm just glad I was the one who suffered as oppossed to any of my guests. If your company offers any accident insurance check it out, if not, ask them to look into it.

Edited by Scorcher
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She will, and they won't take any taxes out for INCOME tax purposes. The life insurance proceeds will, however, have to be reported on your estate tax return. But if your insurance is run through an employer, there's not much you can do about that. You only really want to use an ILIT for insurance you get set up yourself.

 

However, if it makes you feel better, assuming you die first you'll be able to give the Mrs. all the cash your corpse has and no estate tax *should* be due upon your death. (This is because of the estate tax marital deduction). However, any remaining proceeds/assets would then be taxable in her estate when she dies, assuming she owns more stuff than the then existing estate tax exemption.

 

Cool. Thanks for the explanation. I don't see us being estate tax eligible, even with life insurance proceeds.

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Cool. Thanks for the explanation. I don't see us being estate tax eligible, even with life insurance proceeds.

 

I hope, for your wife's sake, that's because she spends the bulk of the insurance money on chisled, Nicaraguan pool boys... even though you don't own a pool.

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I hope, for your wife's sake, that's because she spends the bulk of the insurance money on chisled, Nicaraguan pool boys... even though you don't own a pool.

 

She can do whatever she likes when I'm pushing up the daisies.

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  • 2 years later...
As an update:

 

He's still battling cancer; just found another tumor in his back (cut one out a few months ago and it grew back).

 

His wife just lost her mom to cancer and her dad has cancer now, too.

 

 

cancer is going to be the pandemic of our generation. with all the crap we put in our bodies and all the radio waves around us. we need a cure for this f'ing disease yesterday!!!!!!

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Sorry to hear this muck. Best of luck to him - sounds really bad, but people have beaten the GD before, even at advanced stages, so here's hoping. PS if he can afford it, MD Anderson in Houston is THE place to go, if possible.

Edited by BeeR
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Sorry to hear this muck. Best of luck to him - sounds really bad, but people have beaten the GD before, even at advanced stages, so here's hoping. PS if he can afford it, MD Anderson in Houston is THE place to go, if possible.

 

He's been flying to HOU since he found out about the cancer...

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  • 6 months later...

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