wiegie Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 P.J. O'Rourke in his book The Bachelor Home Companion writes: "As far as I can tell, all children are both spoiled and pestered silly about every little thing they do. This is why there are two things a bachelor hates to see: Children being spanked. And children not being spanked." Somewhat relatedly, a few years ago I was on a flight back from Switzerland and there was the worst behaved kid I have ever seen sitting right behind me. He appeared to be about 8-9 years old spent the first 45 minutes of the flight kicking the back of my seat and loudly singing "Jingle Bells, Batmen smells..." over and over. The parents did nothing. From there it got worse. By the 6th hour of the flight he was screaming and hitting his dad and brother. At about the 7th hour of the flight, the dad finally started spanking him. As we were walking to the baggage claim I overheard a woman asking another women if she had seen the how the man was hitting his child and how terrible it was. I chimed in that they had been sitting right behind me and I agreed that it was terrible how the dad had spanked the child--and then added "he should have hit him harder." The woman's mouth about dropped to the ground--she was clearly appalled at my comment and looked like she was about to say something when another woman spoke up and said "I work with children with behavioral problems and this child was definitely out of control and the parent should have taken more action. A more forceful spanking might have been appropriate." I gave the first woman a sh|t-eating grin and then went to get my luggage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 As we were walking to the baggage claim I overheard a woman asking another women if she had seen the how the man was hitting his child and how terrible it was. I chimed in that they had been sitting right behind me and I agreed that it was terrible how the dad had spanked the child--and then added "he should have hit him harder." The woman's mouth about dropped to the ground--she was clearly appalled at my comment and looked like she was about to say something when another woman spoke up and said "I work with children with behavioral problems and this child was definitely out of control and the parent should have taken more action. A more forceful spanking might have been appropriate." I gave the first woman a sh|t-eating grin and then went to get my luggage. I don't know if I agree with you assesment though. If they let him get away with it for so long... reacting harshly to it all of a sudden isn't really sending the right message. You need to correct the behavior immediately. Then you need to enforce your correction. Then you need to keep enforcing it. That kind of behavior didn't suddenly come up in that kid. It comes from probably years of ignoring the kid while he was doing whatever he wanted to do, and the parents couldn't be bothered to parent him until it was at their breaking point. It's lazy and inneffective. If he got away with it for 6 hours before any correction occurred, why wouldn't he do it again? He got away with it for 6 hours! He'd just try to avoid whatever it was that he did at 5:59 in. Or... maybe not. Maybe the beating was the only attention he got from his parents, and he'd try for it again... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Maybe the beating was the only attention he got from his parents, and he'd try for it again... Much wisdom here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 All you gotta do is invite him for a sleep over at the house and do this to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 All you gotta do is invite him for a sleep over at the house and do this to him. I'd never do that in the fear they might come after me and get knicked by the chain saw, but that is some funny shat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 I would tell them how much you enjoy their company, if you do, but that you have vastly different parenting styles. Tell them that you would still like to hang out when each of you gets "seperate" baby sitters. But your children are the most important things in your life. More important than friends or being good neighbors. They are your life. And you simply cant risk having them be exposed to children who behave like their kids do. And list out some of the behaviors, specifically, that you will not tolerate by your own kids or anyone else's. Let them know that its nothing personal and you will be willing to help them in any way you can. But in this day and age, you certainly dont want any negative influences around your kids and their kids are providing the sorts of influences that you cannot abide. That is called being honest. It is something that YOU OWE YOUR KIDS. You must protect them. Dont expose them to this sort of trash. If the other parents dont like it, well, tough. Your obligation is to your kids, not the other parents. You can do it in a nice way, but be firm and helpful. But stand up for your kids and make sure that their friends emulate the sort of behavior that you expect from your own. If your kids see you abide bad behavior from others, why should they think you would expect a higher level of conduct from them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 (edited) I You need to correct the behavior immediately. Then you need to enforce your correction. Then you need to keep enforcing it. this is the ticket and hard to do my kids can be wild as hellll at times and are very out spoken on what they want... id rather have that than meak lemmings that follow along ..... the twins get away with more than the oldest boy and now im paying for it so we are back to the " 1.... 2..... to youre room " it works but can take time.. my wife can be a nit picker at times and i know that drives them nuts so im a little more lax when she's not home edit to add: when youre kids get to school the will learn and see every bad habit there is.... my 6 year old never sassed anyone till he saw kids in kindergarten sassing the teacher... he tries it at home on occation.... doesnt work out so well for him Edited July 8, 2006 by Yukon Cornelius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 my kids can be wild as hellll at times and are very out spoken on what they want... id rather have that than meak lemmings that follow along ..... I encourage outspokeness in my kids and ask what they think about things constantly. And nobody is advocationg lemmings that follow along. I do think the modern liberal attitude is that they are just "expressing themselves" when they act out with poor behavior. And that proper discipline will somehow stifle their creativity or harm their precious self-esteem. I have been around parents who thought like that and their kids werent worth shooting. Discipline and boundaries actually builds character and self esteem, it doesnt diminish it. These modern child pyschologists with their pyscho-babble are complete morans and part of the problem we have with kids today. Look, there are alot of ways kids can express themselves. But they better be doing it in a civilized way that doesnt enfringe on others enjoyment. And they better have manners and respect for others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 But they better be doing it in a civilized way that doesnt enfringe on others enjoyment. And they better have manners and respect for others. Oh I agree but the from my experience it not a liberal or republitarddddd thing.... The absolute worst kids I see are from rich, religious , republican parents....... But that's just what I see at my school of judicated youth.... the asian, indian, mexican and most black kids wont even think of lipen off to a teacher.... but it aint nothing for a white kid to cal me a phukker ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 the main thing i see nowadays is the parents backin the kids....when i was a kid, i was always wrong! i was guilty until proven innocent. that is no longer the case today. and even if i was innocent, i still took some punishment somehow.....shoot 1st ask questions later i guess. True - I'm not a parent, but I do realize that kids are vile, deceitful little b@stards - investigate before racing out to whoop ass on their behalf. Now I'm not sayin' a kid will always lie/slant/bias his version of a story, but usually that's the case. Unless you gave birth to the reincarnation of Jesus (which many parents wrongly feel is the case). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 Uh, sounds like me 2 year old... he screams a lot, he throws huge fits and is very tough to deal with spain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 Yep, and then when the mom comes over to check on her screaming little d*uchebag son, kick her square in the beaver as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Holy Roller Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 I would tell them how much you enjoy their company, if you do, but that you have vastly different parenting styles. Tell them that you would still like to hang out when each of you gets "seperate" baby sitters. But your children are the most important things in your life. More important than friends or being good neighbors. They are your life. And you simply cant risk having them be exposed to children who behave like their kids do. And list out some of the behaviors, specifically, that you will not tolerate by your own kids or anyone else's. Let them know that its nothing personal and you will be willing to help them in any way you can. But in this day and age, you certainly dont want any negative influences around your kids and their kids are providing the sorts of influences that you cannot abide. That is called being honest. It is something that YOU OWE YOUR KIDS. You must protect them. Dont expose them to this sort of trash. If the other parents dont like it, well, tough. Your obligation is to your kids, not the other parents. You can do it in a nice way, but be firm and helpful. But stand up for your kids and make sure that their friends emulate the sort of behavior that you expect from your own. If your kids see you abide bad behavior from others, why should they think you would expect a higher level of conduct from them? Gosh damn, THAT is good!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 True - I'm not a parent, but I do realize that kids are vile, deceitful little b@stards - investigate before racing out to whoop ass on their behalf. Now I'm not sayin' a kid will always lie/slant/bias his version of a story, but usually that's the case. Unless you gave birth to the reincarnation of Jesus (which many parents wrongly feel is the case). My wife is always telling me stories about stuff like that in her work for the DA. She's not part of prosecuting them, she just counsels them after guilt is already established, so there is no reason to lie to her about the crimes. Parents bring in kids and say, "Oh no... my kid didn't do that. He told me he didn't have anything to do with it." So... let me get this straight, your kid who is always in trouble and who has failed three consecutive drugs tests told you that he didn't do it, and you're taking his word over the cops. That's good parenting right there. I wonder why he thinks he can get away with crimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duchess Jack Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 3. the main thing i see nowadays is the parents backin the kids....when i was a kid, i was always wrong! i was guilty until proven innocent. that is no longer the case today. and even if i was innocent, i still took some punishment somehow.....shoot 1st ask questions later i guess. My mom used to tell me 'well that's for something that you did that I did not catch you for' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 Several years ago, before I was married and had kids, I had some friends who had a 6 year old son. These people were sort of the old hippie type. Didnt want to ever hurt the kids self esteem. I guess another way to say it is that they didnt want to discipline the kid. He was very very unpleasant and if he were my child I would have spent a fortune in orthodonic bills as I would have continually knocked the teeth out of his grill. He was just a basstard and thats all you can say. Anyway, I had come down to Dallas and got together with them for the day. It was me and a girlfriend, that couple and their petulent son. Well, we decide to go to Six Flags. Upon arrival at the theme park, this little jack ass decides he doesnt want to go. he starts throwing a fit the likes of which I have never seen. So, the parents capitulate to his wishes, and decide we should just all go home like he wants. I couldnt believe it. They said that they didnt believe in punishing him for being himself or some other such hippie bs. I was completely shocked and told them that I was going to Six Flags, I didnt give a dam of his self esteem, and would catch a cab back home. I never made plans to do anything else with these idiots. The worst sort of parenting as to allow kids to be the shot callers. The parent tells the kids what to do, not the other way around. And knocking down a kids self esteem isnt bad all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 My wife is always telling me stories about stuff like that in her work for the DA. She's not part of prosecuting them, she just counsels them after guilt is already established, so there is no reason to lie to her about the crimes. Parents bring in kids and say, "Oh no... my kid didn't do that. He told me he didn't have anything to do with it." So... let me get this straight, your kid who is always in trouble and who has failed three consecutive drugs tests told you that he didn't do it, and you're taking his word over the cops. That's good parenting right there. I wonder why he thinks he can get away with crimes. I hear and see the same crap every day... Public school is even worse in my opinion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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