Big Country Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses! 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PantherDave Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 (edited) ...."ya know what I think".....no actually I don't....Professor X is in the comics and movies azzhole Edited March 3, 2007 by PantherDave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PantherDave Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 uhh El Guapo???? let's try....azzhole then??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I hate people who post stuff that's been floating around the internet for 10 years and act like it's the first time anyone probably has ever seen it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocknrobn26 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I hate people who post stuff that's been floating around the internet for 10 years and act like it's the first time anyone probably has ever seen it. Sorta like this: I'm forwarding a forwarded message...read on, it it works you may get $$ from Microsoft. Certainly Bill has enough to share-maybe today we'll be blessed financially! I am forwarding this because the person who sent it to me is a good friend and does not send me junk. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that Internet explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test. When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period. For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $5.00, for every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $3.00 and for every third person that receives it, you will be paid $1.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check. I thought this was a scam myself, but two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on, Microsoft contacted me for my e-mail and within days, I received a check for $800.00. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I hate people who post stuff that's been floating around the internet for 10 years and act like it's the first time anyone probably has ever seen it. Or post untrue stories about jacking off a lizard... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavez Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I was thinking more like this.... 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses! 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? ...but your example works as well, rr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furd Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I hate people that hate stupid things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spain Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 (edited) I hate people that hate stupid things. Hatin on Lions fans again I see... Edited March 3, 2007 by spain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broncosn05 Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Duh Umb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I hate when people go on and on and say absolutely nothing ..they just keep talking and or writing , continuing to proceed , they take up your time and nothing actually is ever said or written that is worth listening to ...it becomes monotone as you sit and listen or read and all the while it continues to go on and on like a broken record and you start to day dream and wonder why you are even there and you start to tune them out and while you do so , they are still going on and on because their battery never seems to run out ...you are exhausted and bored and have gained zero in the whole experience ...and they still keep going on and on Don't you hate that. P.s. Sorry I did that to y'all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irish Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I hate when people go on and on and say absolutely nothing ..they just keep talking and or writing , continuing to proceed , they take up your time and nothing actually is ever said or written that is worth listening to ...it becomes monotone as you sit and listen or read and all the while it continues to go on and on like a broken record and you start to day dream and wonder why you are even there and you start to tune them out and while you do so , they are still going on and on because their battery never seems to run out ...you are exhausted and bored and have gained zero in the whole experience ...and they still keep going on and on Don't you hate that. P.s. Sorry I did that to y'all So you hate reading my posts?!?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursa Majoris Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I hate when people go on and on and say absolutely nothing ..they just keep talking and or writing , continuing to proceed , they take up your time and nothing actually is ever said or written that is worth listening to ...it becomes monotone as you sit and listen or read and all the while it continues to go on and on like a broken record and you start to day dream and wonder why you are even there and you start to tune them out and while you do so , they are still going on and on because their battery never seems to run out ...you are exhausted and bored and have gained zero in the whole experience ...and they still keep going on and on Don't you hate that. P.s. Sorry I did that to y'all This reminds me of the Monty Python sketch with Eric Idle talking about vacations..... Tourist: Good morining Secretary: Oh good morning, Do you want to come upstairs? Tourist: What? Secretary: Do you want to come upstairs? Or have you come to arrange a holiday? Tourist: Er.......to arrange a holiday Secretary: Oh sorry Tourist: What's all this about going upstairs? Secretary: Oh, nothing, nothing. Now where were you thinking of going? Tourist: India Secretary: Ah one of our adventure holidays Tourist: Yes Secretary: Well you'd better speaker to Mr Bounder about that. (Calls out to Mr Bounder) Mr Bounder, this gentleman is interested in the India Overland (walks over to Mr Bounder's desk) Bounder: Ah good morning. I'm Bounder of Adventure Tourist: My name is Smoke-too-much Bounder: Well you'd better cut down a little then Tourist: What? Bounder: You'd better cut down a little then Tourist: Oh I see! Cut down a little then..... Bounder: Yes...I expect you get people making jokes about your name all the time? Tourist: No, no actually it never struck me before. Smoke...to...much....(laughs) Bounder: Anyway you're interested in one of our adventure holidays? Tourist: Yes I saw your advert in the bolour supplement Bounder: The what? Tourist: The bolour supplement Bounder: The colour supplement? Tourist: Yes I'm sorry I can't say the letter 'B' Bounder: C? Tourist: Yes that's right. It's all due to a trauma I suffered when I was a spoolboy. I was attacked by a bat Bounder: A cat? Tourist: No a bat Bounder: Can you say the letter 'K' Tourist: Oh yes, Khaki, king, kettle, Kuwait, Keble Bollege Oxford Bounder: Why don't you say the letter 'K' instead of the letter 'C' Tourist: what you mean.....spell bolour with a K Bounder: Yes Tourist: Kolour. Oh that's very good, I never thought of that what a silly bunt Bounder: Anyway about the holiday Tourist: Well I saw your adverts in the paper and I've been on package tours several times you see, and I decided that this was for me Bounder: Ah good Tourist: Yes I quite agree I mean what's the point of being treated like sheep. What's the pointof going abroad if you're just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Coventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, complaining about the tea - "Oh they don't make it properly here, do they, not like at home" - and stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh 'cos they "overdid it on the first day." Bounder: (agreeing patiently) Yes absolutely, yes I quite agree... Tourist: And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellvueses and Continentales with their modern international luxury roomettes and draught Red Barrel and swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending they're acrobats forming pyramids and frightening the children and barging into queues and if you're not at your table spot on seven you miss the bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, the first item on the menu of International Cuisine, and every Thursday night the hotel has a bloody cabaret in the bar, featuring a tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some bloated fat tart with her hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners. Bounder: (beggining to get fed up) Yes, yes now...... Tourist: And then some adenoidal typists from Birmingham with flabby white legs and diarrhoea trying to pick up hairy bandy-legged wop waiters called Manuel and once a week there's an excursion to the local Roman Remains to buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleeding Watney's Red Barrel and one evening you visit the so called typical restaurant with local colour and atmosphere and you sit next to a party from Rhyl who keep singing "Torremolinos, torremolinos" and complaining about the food - "It's so greasy isn't it?" - and you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with an Instamatic camera and Dr. Scholl sandals and last Tuesday's Daily Express and he drones on and on about how Mr. Smith should be running this country and how many languages Enoch Pow ell can speak and then he throws up over the Cuba Libres. Bounder: Will you be quiet please Tourist: And sending tinted postcards of places they don't realise they haven't even visited to "All at number 22, weather wonderful, our room is marked with an 'X'. Bounder: Shut up Tourist: Food very greasy but we've found a charming little local place hidden away in the back streets Bounder: Shut up! Tourist: where they serve Watney's Red Barrel and cheese and onion....... Bounder: Shut up your bloody gob.... Tourist: crisps and the accordionist plays 'Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner'." And spending four days on the tarmac at Luton airport on a five-day package tour with nothing to eat but dried BEA-type sandwiches and you can't even get a drink of Watney's Red Barrel because you're still in England and the bloody bar closes every time you're thirsty and there's nowhere to sleep and the kids are crying and vomiting and breaking the plastic ash-trays and they keep telling you it'll only be another hour although your plane is still in Iceland and has to take some Swedes to Yugoslavia before it can load you up at 3 a.m. in the bloody morning and you sit on the tarmac till six because of "unforeseen difficulties", i.e. the permanent strike of Air Traffic Control in Paris - and nobody can go to the lavatory until you take off at 8, and when you get to Malaga airport everybody's swallowing "enterovioform" and queuing for the toilets and queuing for the armed customs officers, and queuing for the bloody bus that isn't there to take you to the hotel that hasn't yet been finished. And when you finally get to the half-built Algerian ruin called the Hotel del Sol by paying half your holiday money to a licensed bandit in a taxi you find there's no water in the pool, there's no water in the taps, there's no water in the bog and there's only a bleeding lizard in the bidet. And half the rooms are double booked and you can't sleep anyway because of the permanent twenty-four-hour drilling of the foundations of the hotel next door - and you're plagues by appalling apprentice chemists from Ealing pretending to be hippies, and middle-class stockbrokers' wives busily buying identical holiday villas in suburban development plots just like Esher, in case the Labour government gets in again, and fat American matrons with sloppy-buttocks and Hawaiian-patterned ski pants looking for any mulatto male who can keep it up long enough when they finally let it all flop out. And the Spanish Tourist Board promises you that the raging cholera epidemic is merely a case of mild Spanish tummy, like the previous outbreak of Spanish tummy in 1660 which killed half London and decimated Europe - and meanwhile the bloody Guardia are busy arresting sixteen-year-olds for kissing in the streets and shooting anyone under nineteen who doesn't like Franco. And then on the last day in the airport lounge everyone's comparing sunburns, drinking Nasty Spumante, buying cartons of duty free "cigarillos" and using up their last pesetas on horrid dolls in Spanish National costume and awful straw donkeys and bullfight posters with your name on "Ordoney, El Cordobes and Brian Pules of Norwich" and 3-D pictures of the Pope and Kennedy and Franco, and everybody's talking about coming again next year and you swear you never will although there you are tumbling bleary-eyed out of a tourist-tight antique Iberian airplane... 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Big Country Posted March 4, 2007 Author Share Posted March 4, 2007 Its people like chavez that ruin this darn board.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grits and Shins Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. I don't know about your television ... but I get like 300+ channels and nothing on my television that allows me to move more than 1 channel up or down at a time. That is assuming of course that the television is already set to the satellite. So yeah ... a search for the remote is necesary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGrunt Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 I hate when people go on and on and say absolutely nothing ..they just keep talking and or writing , continuing to proceed , they take up your time and nothing actually is ever said or written that is worth listening to ...it becomes monotone as you sit and listen or read and all the while it continues to go on and on like a broken record and you start to day dream and wonder why you are even there and you start to tune them out and while you do so , they are still going on and on because their battery never seems to run out ...you are exhausted and bored and have gained zero in the whole experience ...and they still keep going on and on ...aaaaaand? What's next? I must here how this story ends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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