Yukon Cornelius Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 As they get older, they will know that if they ever drink/drug and drive or get into a car with someone who drinks/drugs and drives, they will have no driver's license so long as I am in anyway financially responsible for them. They will also know if they call me to come get them, we will have a conversation, but life as they know it will continue for them. There will be consequences fo them if they get high and I find out. I've already told my wife that the first time one of my sons comes home late with very clear eyes and breath that smells of mint, the schit hits the fan. However, bottom line, I can (and will) continue to educate them and prepare them for the "real world", but at some point, they are going to experiment. 99% of us did and we're still here and doing fine. I'm just not going to make it easy. this is what my parents did and i will do the same....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Cid Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 There is another line of thought on drug testing your kids and this was actually told to me by a teen ager. Her mother drug tested her on a regular basis and she was fine with it. She said that by her mother doing this, it was easy for her to turn down drugs when offered by peers without getting schit from them. All she had to say was that her mother routinely drug tested her and her friends understood why she wouldn't use drugs. If that was the line adopted by the parents from the outset, then that may be the ticket for some people. I'm thinking that it may be too late for this approach to work though. All he may be teaching them is how to beat a drug test. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double Agent Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 While I don't have any experience with this (my son is a toddler), I have seen this first hand with my younger cousin. My aunt and uncle tried the whole "talk it out" thing and he lied every time. He lied to everyone. He stole from them, pawned stuff, moved out, you name it. Come to find out, he was on more than just Josh Gordon. The diplomatic approach usually doesn't work...from what I've seen. If you don't want to forcibly make them pee in the cup, some of my clients have had experience being creative. One turned off the water to the kid's toilet and made sure it wouldn't flush. When the kid complained that his toilet was broken, the mom said she call someone to fix it. She siphoned the urine out with a turkey baster and there you go. It was positive for Josh Gordon. Another had a paramed come out and take blood and urine for a life insurance policy on the child. The paramed was a friend. Most life insurance companies don't require blood or urine from minors, so you probably wouldn't be able to do this legit. IMO, these things escalate over time. I would do whatever I could to determine the truth, then act accordingly. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avernus Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 put some angel dust in their magic stash when they are not home... they'll quit after that.... disclaimer: umm...I was joking.... ....or am I???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil_gop_liars Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Show them this disturbing video Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theeohiostate Posted December 7, 2007 Author Share Posted December 7, 2007 Update. We decided against the testing , i hopes we could strengthen our trust with him. Hopefully it'll work, but as of now he's still grounded and hasn't been around any friends for peer pressure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 All he may be teaching them is how to beat a drug test. That's not exactly a totally useless skill to possess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 New schools? Move? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
driveby Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Wow do I feel lucky. My son is a sophmore in college (Chemical Engineering - honors) and he doesn't drink or smoke (anything). He has a cute, sweet girlfriend who doesn't do either, either. I know you're thinking "driveby you dumbass, all kids do that, he's just slick and you're a blind idiot" All I can say is; he says he doesn't, I"ve never seen any signs that he does, none of his (close) friends do, so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Show them this disturbing video Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 well, if you are past the point where you have had the "man to man" talks with them, and you have asked them point blank and they have denied it point blank, then yeah i would think about testing them. you could set it up something like, "we have asked you, and you have denied it. we would like to be able to trust you, but the fact that we found it in the mailbox really raises our suspicion. so to put our mind at rest, we're going to ask you to pee in this cup so we can have it tested." if it comes back positive, you bring down the heavy artillery on them, not for the drugs so much, but for lying to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keggerz Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 its not always what you say but how you say it.... Buy a test(or few if you want) sit them down and talk to them and tell them that you always want them to be honest with you....tell them why drugs are bad etc etc....tell them that you trust them to make the right decisions and in turn be honest with you.....then tell them(show them) the tests that you have and tell them you dont ever want to have to use them but if you ever think that they aren't being honest that you may randomly require them to take a test....the uncertainty of if or when you might give the test could be enough to make them steer clear....but also make sure you let them know that their actions have consequences and tell them what those consequences would be Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yo mama Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 (edited) its not always what you say but how you say it.... Buy a test(or few if you want) sit them down and talk to them and tell them that you always want them to be honest with you....tell them why drugs are bad etc etc....tell them that you trust them to make the right decisions and in turn be honest with you.....then tell them(show them) the tests that you have and tell them you dont ever want to have to use them but if you ever think that they aren't being honest that you may randomly require them to take a test....the uncertainty of if or when you might give the test could be enough to make them steer clear....but also make sure you let them know that their actions have consequences and tell them what those consequences would be F that. If you *really* think your kid is lying to you, just grab a hair off their pillow and have it tested. You don't have to reveal the results to your kid, or ever let them know you had their hair tested. But what you *do* need to know is whether or not they are lying to you. If the test comes back clean, you can feel safer trusting your kids. If it comes back positive, you know you can't, and you adjust your parenting accordingly. Az is right: this isn't so much about Josh Gordon as it is about whether you kid is lying to you. Edited December 7, 2007 by yo mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Show them this disturbing video Thats is some super funny schit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detlef Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Need I remind you that you don't need due process to ground your stoner kids. Everyone including they knows that was their dope. Regardless of where you stand on how evil pot is, the kid needs his ass kicked for no other reason than being stupid enough to have his bag delivered in the mailbox. Getting busted for something is usually a sign of being careless. Being careless is usually a sign that things are a bit out of control. If he wasn't smoking too much, then he wouldn't be in a situation where he was willing to risk having someone leave his baggie in the mailbox. So, why do you need the test? This isn't a freaking court of law. You know he's smoking pot, you talked to him about smoking pot and he lied to you, then he went and did something stupid like have his Josh Gordon delivered in the mailbox. You really don't need anything else. The only reason this blows up in your face is if he truly hasn't been smoking and the Josh Gordon truly isn't his. Since I would hope that you would need to be totally convinced that he's guilty to resort to drug testing him, then I have to think you'd also be convinced enough to just bust the little f'er. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seminoles Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Show them this disturbing video if that doesn't work than Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donutrun Jellies Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 They are your kids, and you know them better than we do, and how they will react if tested. I wouldn't have any problems testing my kids, but that is just me. The way I look at it, they are living under my roof, they are driving my cars, and effect my insurance, so I have a right to know. Done in a spirit of open, honest communication with the adults being the adults and the law being the baseline of expected behavior, I believe Perch speaks wisely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polksalet Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 your job as a father is not to be their loving friend. your job is to make them good citizens. If I think my kid is doing this I will test him and he fails I will sell everything he own and give the money to the local orphanage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zmanzzzz Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 as a teen nothing alienated me from my parents more than their interference in my Josh Gordon habit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big F'n Dave Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 (edited) BFD, he's a freaking kid. Sorry, I've been pretty high for the last few days and I musta missed this. But, I've got it now. He's a kid. Edited December 8, 2007 by Big F'n Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSab Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 If you suspect something is going on, you have to as a parent. Kids need parents not friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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