The Holy Roller Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 He spent the first day sadly packing his belongings in to boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down on the floor in the living room, cracked open a 12 pack, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, some oysters, and a fifth of Jack. When he had finished eating, he went in to each and every room and deposited a few half eaten shrimp and oysters into the hollow of the curtain rods. He replaced the end caps on the curtain rods, cleaned up the living room, and left. When the ex-wife returned with the new boyfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything. Cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-husband called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him they were sellling the house but did not tell the real reasons. He listened politely, and said the he missed the old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing her ex-husband had no idea about the smell, she agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if he were to sign the papers that very day. He agreed and within the hour her lawyers delivered the paperwork for him to sign. A week later the woman and her boyfirend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...including the curtain rods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Wow that is an AWESOME idea. Too bad I've already burned my chance with the 2 ex's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Thanks for the tip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Thanks for the tip! Why would you ever want to leave the twoobs: (And yes, that was a funny non-repeated joke) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 LOVE that story! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Dead bodies stop smelling after a while... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiley Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Why would you ever want to leave the twoobs: (And yes, that was a funny non-repeated joke) It would be the other way around. As you know, I'm quite the handful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cre8tiff Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 It would be the other way around. As you know, I'm quite the handful. A little exercise and a better diet would take care of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 It would be the other way around. As you know, I'm quite the handful. I thought twoobs was the handfuls now I'm confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABearWithFurniture Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 hmmm...so I guess the movers didn't mind the smell? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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