whomper Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 (edited) Is this as common as it seems to be in casa de Whomper in your experiences ? I have an 8 year old daughter and a 5 year old daughter. They love each other a great deal but they fight so much that it is driving me and my wife insane. Not only yelling matches every 10 minutes but actual punches thrown regularly. I hear the punch sound like when Eastowood used to hit someone in any which way you can almost every day. I am at the end of my rope. My youngest is to blame IMO about 93% of the time. She is bossy with my oldest . My oldest shows a lot of patience but when she hits her boiling point it gets ugly. The crazy thing is they defend each other when my wife and I step in to discipline them and straighten the situation out. When I go in to seperate them or put one of them in time out the other one defends the one getting punished. When they are playing nice together it is great. They laugh and they have common interests and genuinely love each other but the fighting is enough to drive me Is this more common than I think it is ? Edited January 19, 2009 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 try having 3 boys...... WOW it gets a little nuts to say the least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scourge Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 My kids are 5, 2 and 1.. Can't wait until 5 years from now when this kind of thing is in full effect. In my house, hitting is immediate punnishment. We are using the naughty step with our little ones, but for 8 and 5 year olds, you just need to start taking things away from them for a day if they hit.. Good luck man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fingfootball Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 2 boys and they fight and scrap all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 there are days it does not stop in my house between the my 10 year old daughter and my 12 year old son upsets me even more as they were very close till about 3 years ago Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted January 19, 2009 Author Share Posted January 19, 2009 My kids are 5, 2 and 1.. Can't wait until 5 years from now when this kind of thing is in full effect. In my house, hitting is immediate punnishment. We are using the naughty step with our little ones, but for 8 and 5 year olds, you just need to start taking things away from them for a day if they hit.. Good luck man. Yep. Instant punishment here as well. We take away the DS or TV for the night and they get Timeouts and all of that stuff. They seem undeterred by the threat of the punishment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geeteebee Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 try having 3 boys...... WOW it gets a little nuts to say the least. I see your 3 and raise you 1. "A little nuts" is the calm state right before total chaos, which is where we spend most of our time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hat Trick Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 2 boys and they fight and scrap all the time. +1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Neutron Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Let me know if you figure it out. I'm here. They can get along like the best of friends and act like they hate each other all in the span of 5 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 VERY COMMON. Three boys here as well. One's 16 so he doesn't really factor in, but the 7 and 4 year olds are just like Whomp's daughters - fighting all the time but always, ALWAYS having each other's back. I personally think it's normal and healthy and I don't discipline at all unless one or the other does something that is clearly out of bounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caddyman Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Is this as common as it seems to be in casa de Whomper in your experiences ? I have an 8 year old daughter and a 5 year old daughter. They love each other a great deal but they fight so much that it is driving me and my wife insane. Not only yelling matches every 10 minutes but actual punches thrown regularly. I hear the punch sound like when Eastowood used to hit someone in any which way you can almost every day. I am at the end of my rope. My youngest is to blame IMO about 93% of the time. She is bossy with my oldest . My oldest shows a lot of patience but when she hits her boiling point it gets ugly. The crazy thing is they defend each other when my wife and I step in to discipline them and straighten the situation out. When I go in to seperate them or put one of them in time out the other one defends the one getting punished. When they are playing nice together it is great. They laugh and they have common interests and genuinely love each other but the fighting is enough to drive me Is this more common than I think it is ? Very common.Mine are 9 and 6. I was home with them all day Friday. I do not know which was worse. Watching freaking Zack and Cody ALL DAY or them at each other all day. The only thing that came close to working was warning them that the next time I saw them going at it they would both be punished. That had a pretty good result.If you only punish one they feed off of that. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Is this as common as it seems to be in casa de Whomper in your experiences ? I have an 8 year old daughter and a 5 year old daughter. They love each other a great deal but they fight so much that it is driving me and my wife insane. Not only yelling matches every 10 minutes but actual punches thrown regularly. I hear the punch sound like when Eastowood used to hit someone in any which way you can almost every day. I am at the end of my rope. My youngest is to blame IMO about 93% of the time. She is bossy with my oldest . My oldest shows a lot of patience but when she hits her boiling point it gets ugly. The crazy thing is they defend each other when my wife and I step in to discipline them and straighten the situation out. When I go in to seperate them or put one of them in time out the other one defends the one getting punished. When they are playing nice together it is great. They laugh and they have common interests and genuinely love each other but the fighting is enough to drive me Is this more common than I think it is ? My girls are 10 and 7, act the same way all the way down to defending each other. They youngest in particular will defend the oldest, usually because she knows she is at fault. On the other hand the oldest is less likely to defend her sister against our wrath. Fortunately I think it is starting to get better. Unfortunately my 10 y.o. recently started her period, and that has brought a whole other set of problems. One moment she is just a joy to be around, and the very next something will set her off and you just want to strangle her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_am_the_swammi Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 I see your 3 and raise you 1. "A little nuts" is the calm state right before total chaos, which is where we spend most of our time. +1 Four here (9 & soon-to-be 7,5,&3)...they all rage at each other, but are best of friends at times, too. And Whomp, as you stated, they defend each other to the max when me and the missus need to step-in. Its not unusual, so you can breathe easier that its not your disfuntional household. It is a daily part of our lives, and perhaps the most miserable part of it. I think it has a lot to do with such varying maturity levels, abilities to comprehend social skills, mental knowledge, physical abilities, and probably many others. Sibling rivalries are real....we let it go, because they need to often times understand where each fits in our families. If it gets physical, we obviously intercede, and if our older kids are truly bullying the younger ones, we jump in, too. But little spats...if we tried to ref each one, the inmates would run the asylum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missoula Griz Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 12 year old son and 8 year old daughter. Daughter is a drama queen. Everytime he touches her she makes it out to be a full blown punch. Of course, he teases her all the time. Most of the time I have no clue who did what first. I wish I had the whole house fit with cameras so I could be spot on with information....I am with Whomp that the younger one seems to be the biggest problem. I grew up with 6 siblings. We always teased each other. Lots of fighting, but lots of affection too. I suppose this is my payback... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 my 2 kids, boy and girl, aren;t old enough yet tofight, I'm trying to hedge this off, by not creating any jealousy when I hold baby girl, I ask the older 3 yr old boy to help me with her and constantly praise and encourage how sweet he is, and that she loves him--she really thinks he hung the moon, he loves to help her and make her feel better, give her toys and entertain her...now, I can't be naive when they get older, I'll just practice what my mom preached to me and my 4 siblings, never hurt someone's feelings, always take the high road if you're hurt, don't hit back; plus I have an ace in the hole, I lost my sis, and I'll always remind them that no matter what, you'd never want to lose your sibling...one of the most precious bonds you're likely to have in your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 my 2 kids, boy and girl, aren;t old enough yet tofight, I'm trying to hedge this off, by not creating any jealousy when I hold baby girl, I ask the older 3 yr old boy to help me with her and constantly praise and encourage how sweet he is, and that she loves him--she really thinks he hung the moon, he loves to help her and make her feel better, give her toys and entertain her...now, I can't be naive when they get older, I'll just practice what my mom preached to me and my 4 siblings, never hurt someone's feelings, always take the high road if you're hurt, don't hit back; plus I have an ace in the hole, I lost my sis, and I'll always remind them that no matter what, you'd never want to lose your sibling...one of the most precious bonds you're likely to have in your life. I'm sorry you lost your sis, that's got to be tough, but I disagreee with the "don't hit back" comment. I tell my kids that if someone hits them first, to hit them back even harder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I'm sorry you lost your sis, that's got to be tough, but I disagreee with the "don't hit back" comment. I tell my kids that if someone hits them first, to hit them back even harder. like I said, I think it's better to take the high road and not fight fire with fire...hopefully I'll instill some diplomacy and problem-resolution skills in my 2 kids...2 wrongs don't make a right, and both parties generally wind up paying for it if they both start wailing on one another Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 like I said, I think it's better to take the high road and not fight fire with fire...hopefully I'll instill some diplomacy and problem-resolution skills in my 2 kids...2 wrongs don't make a right, and both parties generally wind up paying for it if they both start wailing on one another Fair enough. I have a different take on things, but that's what makes you you, and me me I guess. Trust me - I agree that dispute resolution is obviously the first tact, but once someone hits one of my kids FIRST, I want my kids to know it's ok to defend themselves in kind, and hopefully forcefully enough that the perpetrator knows better than to do it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Fair enough. I have a different take on things, but that's what makes you you, and me me I guess. Trust me - I agree that dispute resolution is obviously the first tact, but once someone hits one of my kids FIRST, I want my kids to know it's ok to defend themselves in kind, and hopefully forcefully enough that the perpetrator knows better than to do it again. I see your point about assertiveness and not wanting someone to push you around...it has its place at times....Iat this tender age, 'm wanting my little ones to report bad behaviors to me and the teachers to sort it all out...this is the case at my 3 yr old's school, any altercation is documented and parents are notified, but even if I weren't my little one comes home and tells me, Aaron is mean, he pushed me and made me fall down, I got hurt, he went to the green mat (time-out). Turns out Aaron was an agressive kid to many and has subsequently been kicked out of this pre-school Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefjay Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Yep. Instant punishment here as well. We take away the DS or TV for the night and they get Timeouts and all of that stuff. They seem undeterred by the threat of the punishment. Yeah, same here with all that crap. Boys, 10 and 8, daughter almsot 5 so we have a lot of this. My 8 year old weighs about 10 more lbs then the 10 year old so the match can be even so neither feels like they have to take it easy. I truely believe those punishments need to be longer to have long term affect. I don't do it much myself admittedly but a week or two or longer without their favorite electronics would help make some real ground in that battle. Kids will be kids of course so I try to take that into consideration but not too much. They can't be hurting each other like I did with my brother back in the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darin3 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 I don't know how much this matters, but my sister and I are 3ish years apart and we fought like crazy when we were younger. Not so much when we were real younger, though. More so when we were approaching our teenage years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Czarina Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Lots of bickering here but no actual fighting. My older son, who is 13 has a very sharp tongue however and will use it to cut my little guy who is almost 10 to shreds. I've warned my older son that someday his little brother will be bigger than he is and he'll be sick of the way he gets treated. I promised the older one that I would most likely be looking the other way when it comes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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