muck Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I'm at the office to pick something up and had to take a dump. There are guys in the parking lot working on the water pipes and the water is turned off to the building. My dump would have made Polk proud. And, it's floating on top. If it doesn't get flushed soon, it will really leave a pleasant treat for whomever it is that come in first thing on Monday. Should I leave a note apologizing to whomever comes in first on Monday? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AtomicCEO Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 If you dump a big bucket of water into the toilet fast, it should activate the flush and empty out. It won't refill until the water comes back on, but that should be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_am_the_swammi Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Id've flushed first, then dumped, leaving my wet log to stagnate in the dry bowl for the rest of the weekend. but thats just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 If there is water in the toilet, it should flush... once. If not, go grab the water cooler bottle and send that log home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 I went back in and it was flushed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8tank Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Why didn't you try and flush it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Id've flushed first, then dumped, leaving my wet log to stagnate in the dry bowl for the rest of the weekend. but thats just me. :lmao: wow This reminds me of a commercial I was on at Bill Goldbergs house. Yeah...that Bill Goldberg. I was told to go up to his master bedroom and take a dump. I was so excited, I called 2 of my buddies while dumping a log. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil_gop_liars Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I don't think turds should float? see your doctor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 My dump would have made Polk proud. If it didn't clog up the toilet, it prolly wasn't all that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muck Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 I don't think turds should float? see your doctor. If you're not eating enough fiber, your turds sink. If you are, they float. Per my doctor. FYI. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_am_the_swammi Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 If you're not eating enough fiber, your turds sink. If you are, they float. Per my doctor. FYI. What if they are dark and appear sticky? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheikYerbuti Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 What if they are dark and appear sticky? We're getting into Thread of the Year territory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isleseeya Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 (edited) You had to try and flush ...worst that could happen is you run out with your pants around your ankles while your feet threaded in polluted , contaminated water then at the least you could have looked yourself in the mirror Edited February 2, 2009 by isleseeya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 If the turd don't float Leave a note Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 My turd was green this morning. It was a breacher, but green. Too much Goldschlager last night I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 If you're not eating enough fiber, your turds sink. If you are, they float. Per my doctor. FYI. Odd, I actually had heard that floatability was a function of the fat content of your diet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 WHAT MAKES POOP FLOAT?Surprisingly, not what you might think. Conventional medical wisdom attributes Floaters to the amount of fat in your poop. While this IS true for certain diseases (cystic fibrosis, celiac disease, biliary atresia, abetalipoprotenimia and a few other weird sounding illnesses), it is NOT true for your run-of-the-mill healthy person. Vegetarians would have you believe that the "perfect" stool (that is, one uncontaminated by the consumption of animal parts) is the Floater. Many vegetarians have spent their entire lives in the quest to produce perfection -- when in fact no particular diet can reliably produce Floaters. The vast majority of us bring forth Sinkers. Sinkers really need a good P.R. person -- they have gotten a bad rap over the ages. Sure, Floaters are cute and all, but a good solid Sinker will never let you down. BACK TO WHAT MAKES POOP FLOAT... Actually, it is gas that does it. Increased levels of air and gas in the poop make it less dense, and cause it to float. Simple as that. Dietary changes can lead to an increase in the amount of gas produced by the bacteria that live in the gut, which is probably what the vegetarians are basing their whole "perfect stool" theory on. I don't know -- the whole time I was vegan I never consistently produced Floaters. Then, after a couple of years, I grew disenchanted and yearned for a hamburger. And that was the end of Poonurse the Vegetarian. WHY DOES IT MATTER? Well, I'm a little unclear on that. It must matter greatly to a lot of people, or else they wouldn't take so much time to write to me about it. I guess it could matter if you are worried that you are sick or something. If you have diarrheal-esque Floaters for more than two weeks, you may have a malabsorption problem -- a dysfunction of the GI tract that affects the body's ability to digest and absorb fat. Acute gastrointestinal infections can also result in increased gas content in the intestines, due to rapid movement of stool through the GI tract. SO WHAT? So I am forced to assume that Floaters are NOT the most desirable of all stools. Sinkers are by far more common. Don't spend your life chowing down on tofu burgers just because you think you are being cheated out of a Floater. Neither tofu burgers nor Floaters are worth the trouble. Sinkers are our destiny. http://www.poopreport.com/ http://www.poopnames.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I just realized the biggest oversight in this thread. As the water was turned off, you clearly were unable to wash your hands after your experiences of the poopery arts. Not very hygenic at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbpfan1231 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I just wanted to add that I almost lost the 12 inch Subway club after reading this topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_am_the_swammi Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 As the water was turned off, you clearly were unable to wash your hands after your experiences of the poopery arts. Thank God this thread wasn't started by Detlef. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Thank God this thread wasn't started by Detlef. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Thank God this thread wasn't started by Detlef. I'm sure Detlef has some horror stories from his restaurant concerning this very subject to share with us all. I was once asked by the executive chef of an exclusive country club to clean up a mess in the bathroom stall left by a customer. Lets just say he never asked me to do that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh 0ne Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 If the turd don't floatLeave a note Classic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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