theeohiostate Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 Many know that i was divorced about 15 months ago. In our separation and child custody agreement. I get my son 3 full days each week. I was ordered to pay $1200 per month. Well, during the last 15 months, I have actually felt like a single parent, my ex has shoved all responsibility for my son on me. I get him 4-6 days each week. I take him to and from school all 5 days, pay for his sports, pictures , clothes and more. My question is, why in the hell am I paying child support, when I feel she should be paying me !! First off, I am appreciative of the time I have with him, but a little ticked off about paying for support and having her get pissy with me for asking her to take him this weekend, since he is off school this week, and I will have him 6 straight days....all day and all night and would like a little break. Any lawyers here know if I should seek advice on getting the support lowered or if I have a case? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 You need to document every day and night he is with you. Sounds like you are becoming the majority parent in terms of custody. I'm no lawyer, nor did I sleep at a Holiday Inn last night, but you are getting serious grounds to revisit the court system and get custody reversed = child support reversed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Country Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 You need to document every day and night he is with you. Sounds like you are becoming the majority parent in terms of custody. I'm no lawyer, nor did I sleep at a Holiday Inn last night, but you are getting serious grounds to revisit the court system and get custody reversed = child support reversed. This I would think and would hope if there is justice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T_bone65 Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 Many know that i was divorced about 15 months ago. In our separation and child custody agreement. I get my son 3 full days each week. I was ordered to pay $1200 per month. Well, during the last 15 months, I have actually felt like a single parent, my ex has shoved all responsibility for my son on me. I get him 4-6 days each week. I take him to and from school all 5 days, pay for his sports, pictures , clothes and more. My question is, why in the hell am I paying child support, when I feel she should be paying me !! First off, I am appreciative of the time I have with him, but a little ticked off about paying for support and having her get pissy with me for asking her to take him this weekend, since he is off school this week, and I will have him 6 straight days....all day and all night and would like a little break. Any lawyers here know if I should seek advice on getting the support lowered or if I have a case? Not a lawyer by any means, but I have been on your end of a divorce with child support. We didn't go thru social services for payments or ever get the amount reviewed but could of very easily at any time. I am sure you already know this, but your child always comes first and it sounds like your an awesome dad. I would get it looked at for sure, it can't hurt to atleast talk to an attourney about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theeohiostate Posted October 18, 2010 Author Share Posted October 18, 2010 For some reason i feel bad for even thinking this. I have a hard time relating money and time with my son and believe me, if I had too I would sign her my paycheck every week to see him. I am just getting an attitude about the system, I don't think I could ever get full custody regardless, and they probably would just tell me that my wife wants me and my son to spend time together, hell the judge would probably give her a pat on the back for being a good ex. I disagree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furd Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 Well, I'm not a divorce lawyer, but I work with them. Around these parts, that qualifies me as an expert. In any event, in your jurisidction you should be able to file a motion/petition with the court in an attempt to demonstrate that there has been such a substantial or material or somesuch significant change in circumstances that the court should revisit its order concerning child support/custody. Your odds of the court reducing the child support that you pay, under those circumsatnces, is likely extremely low. Courts don't like to take stuff away from kids. Perhaps you can get it modified in some other way. You need to talk to your lawyer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 Per KevinL's experiences, Ohio may not concede anything to you without her consent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theeohiostate Posted October 18, 2010 Author Share Posted October 18, 2010 Per KevinL's experiences, Ohio may not concede anything to you without her consent. enjoyed that post.........gave me some tears to see a good man fight for his children as KevnL did for years. Bottom line for all us single parents is to keep the focus on the kids happiness, whether it be for 2 days a week or 5. I do not argue with my ex in front of my son, as I once did. I am glad to have grown up a bit and put his needs first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinL Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 enjoyed that post.........gave me some tears to see a good man fight for his children as KevnL did for years. Bottom line for all us single parents is to keep the focus on the kids happiness, whether it be for 2 days a week or 5. I do not argue with my ex in front of my son, as I once did. I am glad to have grown up a bit and put his needs first. It's pretty doubtful that the support amount would change without a change in custody, or an agreement between the 2 of you (and even that may not be approved). We had agreed a couple years ago that I would pay $750 / month (3 kids - calculated amount was a little over $1000). Last school year my daughter came to live with me and we agreed that I would still pay $500. After a year Brooke decided to switch back so we wanted to revert to the $750. The idiot magistrate tried to convince my ex that she was giving up $9000 per year. If you want more details, pm me. But in summary, unless the parents agree, there is no "credit" for extra parenting time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whomper Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 (edited) TOS. I have no experience in this area and nothing to add as far as your question but I will address you saying For some reason i feel bad for even thinking this. I have a hard time relating money and time with my son You shouldnt feel bad. Questioning fairness should never be confused with relating money and time with your son. Its obvios to me that you are a good father and your son comes first. Good luck brother. Edited October 20, 2010 by whomper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piratesownninjas Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 You need to document every day and night he is with you. Sounds like you are becoming the majority parent in terms of custody. I'm no lawyer, nor did I sleep at a Holiday Inn last night, but you are getting serious grounds to revisit the court system and get custody reversed = child support reversed. Is there any chance that by doing this it could backfire on TOS and he get less than the three days a week with his child? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljbrun Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 I have a hard time relating money and time with my son ... Don't. I would think that if your son now spends most of his time with you and the child support were adjusted. That would allow you use the money, that you wouldn't have had otherwise, for his benefit e.g. save for college. Of course your ex could be doing the same thing with the "excess". Unfortunately, as I understand it, there is no requirement for accountability on the part of the child support recipient. You may want to talk to the ex first and see if this is just a temporary thing and it will revert back to the agreed upon schedule (don't mention your money concerns). Been through this too and feel that keeping the focus on your child's welfare while recognizing that you and your ex still have lives is key. So I think it's important to maintain some flexibility. Later on you might need some schedule flexibility yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theeohiostate Posted October 20, 2010 Author Share Posted October 20, 2010 Little more background information to why I'm a little more this upset. When i met my wife and married her, she had 2 boys 3 and 4 years old. I supported them and her for 13 years, she never worked and she got $400 a month support from her ex for her 2 sons. That $400 was rarely paid , maybe 3 times a year. She never pursued him to get her arrears, as I made enough for us not to worry about it. Now I pay almost 3 times that much for 1 child whom i get more then her. System is screwed up. Her ex never had to pay anything and was a deadbeat dad, while I do my best and she takes advantage of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thews40 Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 Little more background information to why I'm a little more this upset. When i met my wife and married her, she had 2 boys 3 and 4 years old. I supported them and her for 13 years, she never worked and she got $400 a month support from her ex for her 2 sons. That $400 was rarely paid , maybe 3 times a year. She never pursued him to get her arrears, as I made enough for us not to worry about it. Now I pay almost 3 times that much for 1 child whom i get more then her. System is screwed up. Her ex never had to pay anything and was a deadbeat dad, while I do my best and she takes advantage of it. I paid child support for over ten years and I know how much it sucks. What really sucks is that not only do you pay it, but you pay the taxes on it too. My advice to you would be to keep paying it and continue to spend as much time with your son as possible. It’s hard to force a kid to live with a parent when they’re 13, so if your son decides to live with you at some point it’ll be hard for mom to stop him. If you take her to court, she’ll probably retaliate by reducing the time with you. The system sucks and men get screwed when it comes to child support, but there’s not a lot you can do. The more time you spend with your son over the years is what he’ll remember, which is what matters. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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