SteelBunz Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 I watched an idiot a few cars ahead of me yesterday during rush hour cut across three lanes of traffic to get to an exit. Then decide....nah......this isn't the exit I wanted.....and swerve back onto the highway. What a moran. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTed46 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Buy him "How to drive in a capitalistic society society for dummies" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliaz Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 1. Get some marbles and put them in his gas tank. Every time he starts to go forward or come to a stop he'll hear the sound of them rolling around in the gas tank. 2. Put carpet tacks under his tires 3. Smear dog crap under the door handles 4. Take a crew driver and poke holds in his muffler 5. Stick a fish under the hood of his car 6. Cover it with posty notes 7. Crack the hood and put a smoke bomb in the engine and put the fuse next to a component that gets real hot. It will simulate a fake car fire 8. Also, put vegetable oil all over and inside the muffler, it will begin smoking something fierce and will simulate a fake car fire 9. Siphon gas out of it 10. Take a small rock (or multiple Rocks) and glue it to the tire in between the tread with epoxy. He wont be able to figure out why the car is so shaky when he takes off down the road Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazinib1 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Try driving in Hollywood during rush hour. It's literally enough to drive a man insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeeR Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 1. Get some marbles and put them in his gas tank. Every time he starts to go forward or come to a stop he'll hear the sound of them rolling around in the gas tank.2. Put carpet tacks under his tires 3. Smear dog crap under the door handles 4. Take a crew driver and poke holds in his muffler 5. Stick a fish under the hood of his car 6. Cover it with posty notes 7. Crack the hood and put a smoke bomb in the engine and put the fuse next to a component that gets real hot. It will simulate a fake car fire 8. Also, put vegetable oil all over and inside the muffler, it will begin smoking something fierce and will simulate a fake car fire 9. Siphon gas out of it 10. Take a small rock (or multiple Rocks) and glue it to the tire in between the tread with epoxy. He wont be able to figure out why the car is so shaky when he takes off down the road Wouldn't sugar water in the tank be a lot quicker (so less chance of getting caught) and more damaging? Amateur. So did this d-bag get off the hook? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikesVikes Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Yea, one time a dude passed me and immediately made a left turn. There was on-coming traffic so we had to wait for him to make his left turn, into the trailer park where he lived. Yes it was tempting to not slow down that day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lennykravitz2004 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 1. Get some marbles and put them in his gas tank. Every time he starts to go forward or come to a stop he'll hear the sound of them rolling around in the gas tank.2. Put carpet tacks under his tires 3. Smear dog crap under the door handles 4. Take a crew driver and poke holds in his muffler 5. Stick a fish under the hood of his car 6. Cover it with posty notes 7. Crack the hood and put a smoke bomb in the engine and put the fuse next to a component that gets real hot. It will simulate a fake car fire 8. Also, put vegetable oil all over and inside the muffler, it will begin smoking something fierce and will simulate a fake car fire 9. Siphon gas out of it 10. Take a small rock (or multiple Rocks) and glue it to the tire in between the tread with epoxy. He wont be able to figure out why the car is so shaky when he takes off down the road 11. For use in freezing weather: take a pack or two of bologna and put the full circle pieces all over his car. After the bologna freezes, he'll have to: wait until the weather gets warm, get a hair dryer with a long extension cord and some patience, take paint and frozen bologna off his car, or just drive with a polka-dot bolognamobile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikesVikes Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 1. Get some marbles and put them in his gas tank. Every time he starts to go forward or come to a stop he'll hear the sound of them rolling around in the gas tank.2. Put carpet tacks under his tires 3. Smear dog crap under the door handles 4. Take a crew driver and poke holds in his muffler 5. Stick a fish under the hood of his car 6. Cover it with posty notes 7. Crack the hood and put a smoke bomb in the engine and put the fuse next to a component that gets real hot. It will simulate a fake car fire 8. Also, put vegetable oil all over and inside the muffler, it will begin smoking something fierce and will simulate a fake car fire 9. Siphon gas out of it 10. Take a small rock (or multiple Rocks) and glue it to the tire in between the tread with epoxy. He wont be able to figure out why the car is so shaky when he takes off down the road You are my number one source on these things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 C'mon...the car was green? Who the hell buys a green car? Some pansy actor might buy a partially green car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 Some pansy actor might buy a partially green car. You leave SpaceVette and Mrs. Uga alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky11 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 I will piss in my water bottle at my desk today and pour it over his door handle. Maybe he'll get the clap or something. Dot3 brake fluid in a spray bottle. apply liberally to the green Nissan. no fingerprints. paint goes bye-bye. mission accomplished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chargerz Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 In the truck this morning, 30 MPH and some green POS Nissan rides my ass, then cuts around me at 50+ MPH only to swerve in front to make the same left I'm about to make. Why are people so brave in a car but when a deranged redneck calls him a douuchebagg idiot when they step out, they suddenly stare off into space? I hate people so much. It seems to me that drivers are crazier than ever. I see a wacked-out maneuver almost every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddahj Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 (edited) 1. Get some marbles and put them in his gas tank. Every time he starts to go forward or come to a stop he'll hear the sound of them rolling around in the gas tank.2. Put carpet tacks under his tires 3. Smear dog crap under the door handles 4. Take a crew driver and poke holds in his muffler 5. Stick a fish under the hood of his car 6. Cover it with posty notes 7. Crack the hood and put a smoke bomb in the engine and put the fuse next to a component that gets real hot. It will simulate a fake car fire 8. Also, put vegetable oil all over and inside the muffler, it will begin smoking something fierce and will simulate a fake car fire 9. Siphon gas out of it 10. Take a small rock (or multiple Rocks) and glue it to the tire in between the tread with epoxy. He wont be able to figure out why the car is so shaky when he takes off down the road My personal fav...crisco all the windows on the vehicle. Or if he leaves a window cracked, fill it with cement. Edited May 26, 2011 by buddahj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 11. For use in freezing weather: take a pack or two of bologna and put the full circle pieces all over his car. After the bologna freezes, he'll have to: wait until the weather gets warm, get a hair dryer with a long extension cord and some patience, take paint and frozen bologna off his car, or just drive with a polka-dot bolognamobile. This makes me think of a true story from this past winter. After snow storms here in Pittsburgh it is very normal for people to shovel out a parking spot and then think they own it forever. Most of us actually respect that process when there is a significant snow. Now after a big storm a guy shovels out his spot like normal. His bitch of a neighbor who gets home from work about 20 minutes before him takes his spot. He tells her about her lack of judgement and offers to have his son dig out her spot so long as she pays the kid. She tells him to get bent. Next day he comes home to her car in the spot and goes nuts. He calls a guy with a backhoe and pays him to bury her car. LOL It ended up with police and even made the news with pictures and all. Now the lady claims that people harass her over taking his spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tosberg34 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 In the truck this morning, 30 MPH and some green POS Nissan rides my ass, then cuts around me at 50+ MPH only to swerve in front to make the same left I'm about to make. Why are people so brave in a car but when a deranged redneck calls him a douuchebagg idiot when they step out, they suddenly stare off into space? I hate people so much. Sorry, Tim! You were driving so slow I had to do something. Were you driving Miss Daisy? I have to say that 20 miles under the speed limit, in the fast lane with your blinker on is ridiculous. And do you really have purple hair? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Hey Tim, I saw a corvette in Austria yesterday. It was stuck in a traffic jam. Just thought you should know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Cornelius Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Hey Tim, I saw a corvette in Austria yesterday. It was stuck in a traffic jam. Just thought you should know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaterMan Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Try driving in Hollywood during rush hour. It's literally enough to drive a man insane. I bet everyone thinks they are the most important person on the road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 Hey Tim, I saw a corvette in Austria yesterday. It was stuck in a traffic jam. Just thought you should know. I saw you were over in Germany...you picking up Socialist tips for a new school year? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimC Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 I decided to pin a note to the windshield with the phrase, "If he dies, he dies", then I threw an American flag on the hood, which promptly caught on fire when it touched such a foreign object which, of course, caused SuperBalla and his 3,000 friends to kill him. See, I'm a pacifist...why kill when others will kill for you? On to the next green car.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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