Piranha Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 No. Impossible. The gears are always turning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peepinmofo Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Can a guy spend all of his free time(30-40 hours per week) with a single, fairly attractive woman without thinking about mating with her? If the guy is in a happy relationship, it shouldnt be a problem. Im happy in mine and wouldnt think about cheating on my woman. Now if I were single, or unhappy, thats different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 I won't answer each comeback individually... I will respond overall instead. Assumptions made (right or wrong) about the initial post..... Polk is married I believe. At work. Now... I firmly believe that one can work with, or socialize with, a female of the opposite sex without thinking about bedding her. Sure there are times that one thinks "now that's a nice bit of fluff" but one doesn't necessarily think about bedding said fluff. There are a lot more options in the equation when around females than thinking about bedding them. Some are even smart or just fun to be around. They are out there. I'm not dead...nor am I any of the other things that some here have implied. I just have had, over the years, a lot of female friends that I never had the thought of bedding them cross my mind. Several of them were of model quality even....not that it mattered.... more interested in them than thinking thoughts that are of no worth. And yes... I suppose a bit of "judgement" was in there somewhere. But just can't fathom that one can't be around a good lookin' female without thinking of bedding them as anything but a short circuit somewhere. But then I have never been able to fathom one cheating on one's wife either. So there is that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefjay Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 (edited) I'm in a meeting sitting right next to a rather nice looking co-worker for the next 4 hrs and I am pretty sure I'll think about different ways up and down but no have not ever thought about persuing it. Edited July 26, 2007 by chiefjay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polksalet Posted July 26, 2007 Author Share Posted July 26, 2007 It is funny to watch the imagination run wild building all different types of scenarios. I thought I would add a little detail to the question. My female friend is recently divorced. She is one of the sweetest human beings I have ever been around. She has three boys 3,8, and 15. Her husband recently left her for strange and quit his $50k job and moved to Illinois with strange to smoke crack. He has paid her zero child support (she is a school teacher) and does not intend to even if she could find him. She is totally brokenhearted and the whole thing is making everyone around her upset. She teaches Sunday school with my wife and is one of the wife's best friends. She is 35 years old.. In comes a (yankee) visitor to church one sunday. He is in town on a temporary assignment at the local army base. He is a decent enough guy but it is obvious he has has a VERY sheltered life. He is 25 and just out of college. He actually gets his MBA this weekend. Well he becomes friend with recently divorced chick. They are together ALL of the time. No joke, as far as I know ALL of their free time is spent together. You literally do not see one without the other. Now I am as sure as I am fat that there is no official relationship going on there. They just like to hang out together. My belief is, no chick in as vulnerable a state as she is in can hang out with a guy a decent as him and not have strong feelings about it. I also believe no 25 y/o guy can hang out that much with a 35 y/o attractive chick without thinking about it. I believe these two are in love and in denial about it. I have seen this kind of thing before. The hang up is that he leaves for a transfer in Washington DC in about 3 weeks. Most of my friends at church believe I am way off base here. I believe they are very naive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 It is funny to watch the imagination run wild building all different types of scenarios. I thought I would add a little detail to the question. My female friend is recently divorced. She is one of the sweetest human beings I have ever been around. She has three boys 3,8, and 15. Her husband recently left her for strange and quit his $50k job and moved to Illinois with strange to smoke crack. He has paid her zero child support (she is a school teacher) and does not intend to even if she could find him. She is totally brokenhearted and the whole thing is making everyone around her upset. She teaches Sunday school with my wife and is one of the wife's best friends. She is 35 years old.. In comes a (yankee) visitor to church one sunday. He is in town on a temporary assignment at the local army base. He is a decent enough guy but it is obvious he has has a VERY sheltered life. He is 25 and just out of college. He actually gets his MBA this weekend. Well he becomes friend with recently divorced chick. They are together ALL of the time. No joke, as far as I know ALL of their free time is spent together. You literally do not see one without the other. Now I am as sure as I am fat that there is no official relationship going on there. They just like to hang out together. My belief is, no chick in as vulnerable a state as she is in can hang out with a guy a decent as him and not have strong feelings about it. I also believe no 25 y/o guy can hang out that much with a 35 y/o attractive chick without thinking about it. I believe these two are in love and in denial about it. I have seen this kind of thing before. The hang up is that he leaves for a transfer in Washington DC in about 3 weeks. Most of my friends at church believe I am way off base here. I believe they are very naive. ok, i agree with you, they likely have feelings about each other, but they are holding back for all sorts of reasons (mostly good ones). it will be interesting to see how the relationship develops after he transfers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 pics would help TIA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gonkis Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Now I am as sure as I am fat pics would help TIA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexgaddis Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polksalet Posted July 26, 2007 Author Share Posted July 26, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 I also believe no 25 y/o guy can hang out that much with a 35 y/o attractive chick without thinking about it. More to a relationship than thinking about getting laid. Maybe they just like hanging out with each other. Nah.... you guys wouldn't buy that at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azazello1313 Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 More to a relationship than thinking about getting laid. Maybe they just like hanging out with each other. Nah.... you guys wouldn't buy that at all. i think you're missing the point, sky. polk is talking about whether these two have a romantic interest in each other, not so much whether the dude is trying to score. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunning Runt Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 More to a relationship than thinking about getting laid. Now this I completely agree with. But I can also tell you I would never be in my happily married wife... errr... life, had I not been sexually attracted to her the first time I laid eyes on her. No way am I buying a slam-pig dinner and a movie.... but if it's someone I wanna tap? You betcha. Basically, you never ever get to the relationship part without answering the "would I do her?" question in your own mind to the affirmative. If that makes me shallow, so be it. I think it makes me normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ill Nuts Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Did you just call him a "Yankee"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylive5 Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 I think it makes me normal. Oh there is no doubt that you are normal. (Well, as far as this topic is concerned. LOL) However, I know for a fact that there have been longterm relationships that started out without the "would I tap it" as the first thing on ones mind. And I know of plenty of friendships that have never had that as part of the equation. Personally, this scenario sounds like they just like each other. Doesn't sound like either are looking for or thinking of anything else. And I don't think I missed the point. We were given limited info... went with that.... then along comes more info... we are going with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polksalet Posted July 26, 2007 Author Share Posted July 26, 2007 So I just talk to her and tell her I have him hooked up with some friends of mine in Mt. Vernon Virginia to find him a crib. She says he wants to quit and stay here and wonders if i can find him a job. He will have to pay the dod back about 4k in tuition. He is on the fast track to a good job with the Army and is willing to leave if to make $8 at Wal-Mart. You make the call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiegie Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 So I just talk to her and tell her I have him hooked up with some friends of mine in Mt. Vernon Virginia to find him a crib. She says he wants to quit and stay here and wonders if i can find him a job. He will have to pay the dod back about 4k in tuition. He is on the fast track to a good job with the Army and is willing to leave if to make $8 at Wal-Mart. You make the call. Too much, too soon. They ain't thinking straight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polksalet Posted July 26, 2007 Author Share Posted July 26, 2007 Agreed, I get to put on counselor's hat at 7pm tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Beatings Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 So I just talk to her and tell her I have him hooked up with some friends of mine in Mt. Vernon Virginia to find him a crib. She says he wants to quit and stay here and wonders if i can find him a job. He will have to pay the dod back about 4k in tuition. He is on the fast track to a good job with the Army and is willing to leave if to make $8 at Wal-Mart. You make the call. Case closed. They're probably already getting "romantic" if he's willing to scrap his career plans and make a permanent move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Swerski Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 I often hung out with a rather attractive female co-woker (and her boyfriend/fiance) while in grad school. She wasn't really my type, so I wasn't overly-interested in tagging her (having a one-night-stand with a co-worker isn't really a good idea anyway). Sine the boyfriend was severely hypoglycemic, he couldn't drink and the type of food that he could eat was severely limited where he could go out to eat. So I was basically her drinking and occasional dinner date. The platonic thing worked well in that case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 When me and the wife started dating, I never considered that she would be a good mother. I never considered she would be a good cook. I never considered if she would be a good home maker. I never considered if she was good at ironing pants. I never considered whether or not she was frugal. I never considered if she would be a good wife. The only thing I was really thinking about when I asked my wife out the first time was "I wonder how long it is going to take me to tag this." We've been together for 11 years now, and I'm very thankful for all the things that I never considered, and for having her in my life. I'd never cheat on my wife, but to say that I've never entertained fantasies with attractive women I'm around a lot would just be a lie. It is on thing to think about it, and truthfully it is probably healthy to do so just as long as you don't say the other womans name when you are having sex with your wife. As long as it remains in your head, and not in bed, there is nothing wrong with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caveman_Nick Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 (edited) I often hung out with a rather attractive female co-woker (and her boyfriend/fiance) while in grad school. She wasn't really my type, so I wasn't overly-interested in tagging her (having a one-night-stand with a co-worker isn't really a good idea anyway). Sine the boyfriend was severely hypoglycemic, he couldn't drink and the type of food that he could eat was severely limited where he could go out to eat. So I was basically her drinking and occasional dinner date. The platonic thing worked well in that case. Totally possible. Heck, I have had friends in this vein, and even if I knew that I might go for a little tappy-tap-tap if the opportunity was presented to me, it wasn't the reason I was hanging out with them. It wasn't even a reason. I was not pursuing in any way. I think this is a bit different than spending 100% of your free time with someone. Maybe some people are missing that. This isn't a "men and women can't be 'just friends' " discussion, it's more of about the level of involvement these two have. There's definite mojo there. Edited July 26, 2007 by Caveman_Nick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polksalet Posted July 26, 2007 Author Share Posted July 26, 2007 Did you just call him a "Yankee"? He is from Ohio, but he is one of the good 'uns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDFFFreak Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 (edited) Darn near impossible UNLESS she's really annoying or a total b*tch. Now how you act on those impulses make all the difference in the world. Edited July 26, 2007 by TDFFFreak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perchoutofwater Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 He is from Ohio, but he is one of the good 'uns. He's dead? Your lady friend really is in bad shape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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