Daycare

[westvirginia]

Sigh...i guess I'll have to be the devil's advocate here. I'm really surprised I haven't seen any posts about not sending your'e kids to daycare. In my, and many people's opinion, your'e kids should be home with mommy or daddy during the early years. If you want them to have the same level of values and respect that you have or expect, then stay home and raise them accordingly. And please, don't post the "we can't afford it" response. If that's truly the cse, and I doubt it is, then you haven't thought parenthood through.

 

I share your belief, but I just don't want to start this fight. It's a choice every parent has to make for themselves. We decided before we had kids, that we would be telling our children that the money was more important to us than they were if we put them in day care. Other people don't see it that way. Who am I to tell them differently?

[AtomicCEO]

Sigh...i guess I'll have to be the devil's advocate here. I'm really surprised I haven't seen any posts about not sending your'e kids to daycare. In my, and many people's opinion, your'e kids should be home with mommy or daddy during the early years. If you want them to have the same level of values and respect that you have or expect, then stay home and raise them accordingly. And please, don't post the "we can't afford it" response. If that's truly the cse, and I doubt it is, then you haven't thought parenthood through.

 

Did your'e kids learn grammar at home?

[whoopazz]

Did your'e kids learn grammar at home?

YOU're very observant. One is on scholarship at UNC and the other is 5th in her class at high school. I think I've done pretty well, or at least the best I could (not someone else). Whatever, someone had to say it.

[Double Agent]

Did your'e kids learn grammar at home?

[Double Agent]

Sigh...i guess I'll have to be the devil's advocate here. I'm really surprised I haven't seen any posts about not sending your'e kids to daycare. In my, and many people's opinion, your'e kids should be home with mommy or daddy during the early years. If you want them to have the same level of values and respect that you have or expect, then stay home and raise them accordingly. And please, don't post the "we can't afford it" response. If that's truly the cse, and I doubt it is, then you haven't thought parenthood through.

 

Nothing wrong with your post and those are the feelings I've always had. It was a tough decision for us to make but I know it's the right one.

[AtomicCEO]

YOU're very observant. One is on scholarship at UNC and the other is 5th in her class at high school. I think I've done pretty well, or at least the best I could (not someone else). Whatever, someone had to say it.

 

If I didn't do it, someone else would have.

 

I think it's great that you did well with your kids at home. If you are implying that my family is wrong for not doing it that way, then you are way off.

 

I grew up with a single parent and went to several daycares, and there is nothing wrong with my values. Ask my mom. She'll tell you.

[whoopazz]

Nothing wrong with your post and those are the feelings I've always had. It was a tough decision for us to make but I know it's the right one.

My post was by no means a dig on you or the decision to go with daycare, just my opinion and experience. Kids can get the interaction and exposure through play groups or preschool, but If you feel you've made the right decision for you and you're kids, then stand by it. I had my first daughter in day care for about a week and when I went to pick her up on the first Friday, she was staring out the window looking for me...that was it. My wife quit work, we sacrificed, and we kept them home. In any event, pay close attention to the care and good luck.

[whoopazz]

If I didn't do it, someone else would have.

 

I think it's great that you did well with your kids at home. If you are implying that my family is wrong for not doing it that way, then you are way off.

 

I grew up with a single parent and went to several daycares, and there is nothing wrong with my values. Ask my mom. She'll tell you.

 

Well, I hadn't considered single parent families , my bad. That's a whole nother issue. In the end though, my kids are smarter than yours

[millerx]

Sigh...i guess I'll have to be the devil's advocate here. I'm really surprised I haven't seen any posts about not sending your'e kids to daycare. In my, and many people's opinion, your'e kids should be home with mommy or daddy during the early years. If you want them to have the same level of values and respect that you have or expect, then stay home and raise them accordingly. And please, don't post the "we can't afford it" response. If that's truly the cse, and I doubt it is, then you haven't thought parenthood through.

 

 

I share your belief, but I just don't want to start this fight. It's a choice every parent has to make for themselves. We decided before we had kids, that we would be telling our children that the money was more important to us than they were if we put them in day care. Other people don't see it that way. Who am I to tell them differently?

I use to have both your beliefs...and then I thought we could at least give daycare a try. And I have to say I'm very happy with the results. Our, child (who is now 5 yrs. old and about to start kindergarten in the fall) has benefited tremendously from her daycare experience. Admittedly, you have to do the research on were you send them (which we did). But, if you get them into the right atmosphere, daycare can be an incredible experience for them. I use think that a child would not learn my (and my wife's) belief system if they were not with us 24/7. I was wrong. And I can admit it. I can't tell you how many times we have gone out with friends (with same aged kids) and all they can do is compliment on how well behaved, how mature, and how social our child is compared to their own. All their kids seem to be able to do is hug the leg of which ever parent is closest .

[AtomicCEO]

Well, I hadn't considered single parent families , my bad. That's a whole nother issue. In the end though, my kids are smarter than yours

 

Oh yeah? Can your kids count to 10?

 

My kid can count to 10.

[Chavez]

YOU're very observant. One is on scholarship at UNC and the other is 5th in her class at high school. I think I've done pretty well, or at least the best I could (not someone else). Whatever, someone had to say it.

You are a True Heroic American. Like Rush Limbaugh.

[Brentastic]

I use to have both your beliefs...and then I thought we could at least give daycare a try. And I have to say I'm very happy with the results. Our, child (who is now 5 yrs. old and about to start kindergarten in the fall) has benefited tremendously from her daycare experience. Admittedly, you have to do the research on were you send them (which we did). But, if you get them into the right atmosphere, daycare can be an incredible experience for them. I use think that a child would not learn my (and my wife's) belief system if they were not with us 24/7. I was wrong. And I can admit it. I can't tell you how many times we have gone out with friends (with same aged kids) and all they can do is compliment on how well behaved, how mature, and how social our child is compared to their own. All their kids seem to be able to do is hug the leg of which ever parent is closest .

I'm glad you chimed in coming from both angles. My wife and I are expecting in July and I have been adamant about having one of us stay home to raise our child. However, unlike whoopazz's opinion, we cannot survive in Chicago on only one income. That being said, we found a daycare that is comprised of a family of Greek women (mom and her 3 daughters) who seem to be ideal. They make homemade meals, teach the children to speek Greek, teach dancing and have organized activities etc... The only thing that is scary but common here in the city, is that the child will start daycare at about 3 months. Unfortunately, our country doesn't put family first like most other nations - so the 12 weeks of maternity leave is all we get (a lot of countries get 12 months).

 

I will definitely try missoulagriz's idea of dropping in un-announced from time to time. But for now, I have no choice but to put our child into daycare. This thread is encouraging and I'm glad to have read it - I'm not so worried and actually see it as a positive. I just hope that I can still influence my child even though he will actually spend more time with the daycare

[Grits and Shins]

Amazing. :shakeshead:

 

People exclaiming how their kids are better off in day care then they are at home. Obviously I am in the minority when I believe that a child benefits the most when they are actually raised by their parents.

[twiley]

I'm sorry, but this cracks me up.

 

(I took my 11 month to the playground today and the skill I worked on with him was standing up in the stroller and then falling out of it onto his head.)

Don't be hatin just because my kid is farther along than yours.

 

My kid is already doing the doggie paddle at swim lessons largely in part to the developmental exercises he gets at daycare.

Edited May 29, 2008 by twiley

[Double Agent]

Amazing. :shakeshead:

 

People exclaiming how their kids are better off in day care then they are at home. Obviously I am in the minority when I believe that a child benefits the most when they are actually raised by their parents.

 

Did you home school your kids Grits?

[whoopazz]

Oh yeah? Can your kids count to 10?

 

My kid can count to 10.

 

logrithmically, or on fingers and toes?

[millerx]

I will definitely try missoulagriz's idea of dropping in un-announced from time to time. But for now, I have no choice but to put our child into daycare. This thread is encouraging and I'm glad to have read it - I'm not so worried and actually see it as a positive. I just hope that I can still influence my child even though he will actually spend more time with the daycare

One thing I can safely say about my own experience is that you will always have the MOST influence in your child's life. Again, that was one of my biggest fears...only to find out it was unfounded. You can almost relate it to going to school. Did you listen and follow your parents or your teacher? You may respect your teacher but you love and follow your parents.

 

Another suggestion...Unlike most every other business out there, I do feel as though the "chain" daycare systems seem to be more reliable and better structured to handle kids. Where I live (suburbs of Atlanta) they are very structured and open. Meaning, they have a curriculum to have your kids learn physically, socially, and mentally. The rooms are viewable from the lobby and hallways so you can always see what is or is not being done with the children. Some even have webcams that you can log on to from work during the day to watch them doing whatever. (gives you a sense of security that they are not being neglected or abused). However, those fears are largely unfounded in the "chain" daycare places and parents of other children are continually coming and going (for different reasons) so their is little time for those things to occur.

 

I admit, it broke my heart in the begining, to hand over my child to someone else. To listen to them cry as you leave. Just know that it only takes minutes (if not seconds) from when you are out of site, before they are laughing and playing with the other kids. Double back on yourself and sneak a peak...you will feel better once you see they are enjoying themselves.

 

Edit: one thing I forgot to mention, EVERY kid has separation anxiety the first time the leave their parents side for an extended time(whether it is the first day of kindergarten or daycare). But they learn you will be coming back. Some just learn it in daycare while others that stay at home in the early years, learn it later. YOU still raise the kid and your influence is the one they listen to.

Edited May 29, 2008 by millerx

[Piles]

Amazing. :shakeshead:

 

People exclaiming how their kids are better off in day care then they are at home. Obviously I am in the minority when I believe that a child benefits the most when they are actually raised by their parents.

 

Where can I find one of these 24/7/365 daycare centers?

[whoopazz]

I'm glad you chimed in coming from both angles. My wife and I are expecting in July and I have been adamant about having one of us stay home to raise our child. However, unlike whoopazz's opinion, we cannot survive in Chicago on only one income. That being said, we found a daycare that is comprised of a family of Greek women (mom and her 3 daughters) who seem to be ideal. They make homemade meals, teach the children to speek Greek, teach dancing and have organized activities etc... The only thing that is scary but common here in the city, is that the child will start daycare at about 3 months. Unfortunately, our country doesn't put family first like most other nations - so the 12 weeks of maternity leave is all we get (a lot of countries get 12 months).

 

I will definitely try missoulagriz's idea of dropping in un-announced from time to time. But for now, I have no choice but to put our child into daycare. This thread is encouraging and I'm glad to have read it - I'm not so worried and actually see it as a positive. I just hope that I can still influence my child even though he will actually spend more time with the daycare

 

This is what bothers me. If you both were adamant about staying home to raise the kid(s) as you say, but can't do it in your current situation (which I fully understand), then change the situation. You could leave Chicago if you really wanted this, or make other sacrifices, or count on family somehow. It sounds like you may have found a good Plan B, but you never really know. I'm not going to try to tell you guys what to do, or make a sweeping opinion that no daycare can be beneficial or secure. But I can tell you this...they grow up REALLY fast and to miss any part of it (first poop or steps come to mind)...well, you may regret it later. We're only talking about two or three years here. In any case, I hope all goes well for you and the Brentbaby, good luck.

[AtomicCEO]

This is what bothers me. If you both were adamant about staying home to raise the kid(s) as you say, but can't do it in your current situation (which I fully understand), then change the situation. You could leave Chicago if you really wanted this, or make other sacrifices, or count on family somehow. It sounds like you may have found a good Plan B, but you never really know. I'm not going to try to tell you guys what to do, or make a sweeping opinion that no daycare can be beneficial or secure. But I can tell you this...they grow up REALLY fast and to miss any part of it (first poop or steps come to mind)...well, you may regret it later. We're only talking about two or three years here. In any case, I hope all goes well for you and the Brentbaby, good luck.

 

I did not miss my kid's first poop for sure.

 

And my wife and I were both there to goad him into his first steps (got it on video).

We teach him how to count, and how to talk, and manners and everything else.

 

I have no complaints.

[cliaz]

My 21 month old started daycare this week. The daycare is owned by family friends right across the street from my office. I really feel great about the school...but dropping him off absolutely rips my heart out. I know I'll get used to it and he seems to love it. We've been very fortunate to have my mother in law be his nanny for the last 21 months. But she needs a break...she disagrees...and he needs the social interaction and classroom setting. He's an only child and really acts like it. I think overall it will really benefit him. My mother in law will continue to watch him once a week.

 

I really wish my wife could stay at home. She has a very lucrative career and it's kind of a no-brainer for her to work...for now. My business is our future so me staying home is not an option either.

 

Did any of you notice improvements after your kids started daycare? Anything to watch out for? Advice appreciated.

 

 

One of the best things you can do as a parent of a child at that age, is to place them in an environment where they have peers to stimulate them with age appropriate social skills. It is critical that a child be in a place with other children in their own age group.

[millerx]

I did not miss my kid's first poop for sure.

 

And my wife and I were both there to goad him into his first steps (got it on video).

We teach him how to count, and how to talk, and manners and everything else.

 

I have no complaints.

I was their for my kids first steps too. Great times! We have it on videotape as well. We helped teach her how to talk, count, manners and everything else as well.

 

I really don't recall the first poop thing, although I know I remember working on it with her. Although it might be because I just don't categorize that as a big moment...I was still happy to see her potty trained!

 

As mentioned in previous posts, mine was in daycare as well. I hate that I come off sounding as though I have to defend our choice to use daycare. But honestly, some people make it sound as though by using daycare, you are sending them off to boarding school. I never missed a big moment in my child's life.

Edited May 30, 2008 by millerx

[Cunning Runt]

They got sick a lot for the first couple of years. The stuff spreads through the day care.

 

On a positive note, they learned early how to interact with other children.

 

Even if it is a family friend, show up unannounced now and again. This will allow you to see really what is happening at the daycare.

 

Without reading any other responses, this pretty much sums it up for me.

 

All in all, the pros outweigh the cons by a long shot in my book.

[AtomicCEO]

I really don't recall the first poop thing, although I know remember working on it with her. Although it might be because I just don't categorize that as a big moment...I was still happy to see her potty trained!

 

Ooohhhh... potty trained poop. Right.

 

We're working on that. I was there for his first pee in a potty. Poop hasn't quite happened yet, but we're working on it (not the daycare, although in his next age group they will be reinforcing it).

[Atlanta Cracker]

Ooohhhh... potty trained poop. Right.

 

We're working on that. I was there for his first pee in a potty. Poop hasn't quite happened yet, but we're working on it (not the daycare, although in his next age group they will be reinforcing it).

 

This is off the mark in this thread but you had input in my potty training thread so here's how it worked with my son. He started going pee-pee in the potty. When he did we put him in regular underwear. After about 5 poop accidents he started going poop in the potty too. A mess to be sure but worked out well in the end. (Note: we only did it that way because we ran out of pull ups and didn't want to buy more when we were about done with them)

 

Side note. My wife stays at home. I think it's great. If you think you are making your kid better by someone staying at home you are wrong. That decision is all about the parents and what makes them happy. The kids will turn out great either way.