Change

[SuperBalla]

S[eaking of old school change...

[i_am_the_swammi]

After what I've been through this past month and a half, I keep telling myself there's only one way to go from here. UP! Most couples will tell you that the number one cause of failing relationships(not that Swammi has one, I'm just saying)is money(or lack thereof). I am personally at a hugh crossroad in my life. But like I said before, I can only go up from here. You will too someday soon, Swammi. After a hit, you simply have to get back up again, and you will.

 

Fortunately, the marriage is rock solid. The wife couldn't be happier these days, as she is almost finished getting here bachelors begree in nursing (after going to school for 9 years at night in between having four kids!). I support her and the kids 100%, emotionally and financially. The fact that she has had something to focus on besides the kids and their lives has made her so much more happier, and in turn, keeps our house on more an even keel. With a degree in nursing, she will never hurt for work (should she choose to work), so that is very comforting for us as we plan for the next 20 years.

 

I never expected to be able to be the same care-free person I always was in my 20's...responsibility, growing up, etc. changed that. Just thought it was curious how much I had changed over the last 20 years, and things that used to make me laugh are now plain annoying. Just a phase, and when the stress comes down in the next 3-6 months, I am sure I'll feel a hugh sense of relief.

[whomper]

Fortunately, the marriage is rock solid. The wife couldn't be happier these days, as she is almost finished getting here bachelors begree in nursing (after going to school for 9 years at night in between having four kids!). I support her and the kids 100%, emotionally and financially. The fact that she has had something to focus on besides the kids and their lives has made her so much more happier, and in turn, keeps our house on more an even keel. With a degree in nursing, she will never hurt for work (should she choose to work), so that is very comforting for us as we plan for the next 20 years.

 

I never expected to be able to be the same care-free person I always was in my 20's...responsibility, growing up, etc. changed that. Just thought it was curious how much I had changed over the last 20 years, and things that used to make me laugh are now plain annoying. Just a phase, and when the stress comes down in the next 3-6 months, I am sure I'll feel a hugh sense of relief.

 

 

:divngboard:

[i_am_the_swammi]

:divngboard:

 

 

already done

[T_bone65]

S[eaking of old school change...

 

 

I miss the page turning

[Bier Meister]

are you sure you're not just the common bitter philadephian?

[jaxfactor]

are you sure you're not just the common bitter philadephian?

 

I think bier might be onto something here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Retrograde assault]

So the last few weeks I have been doing some real intospective analysis and decided I am a cranky old man. I used to be so easy going in my younger years....loud music, drugs, work hard/play hard....i never used to sweat the small stuff.

 

20 years later, I am the old man I used to hate. Argumentative, negative, one to criticize, sarcastic. My wife hates me. My kids hate. Many on this board likely hate me. Buit underneath, I really am a nice guy...or at least I was.

 

What gives? Anyone else becoming Jack Lemmon to my Walter Matthau? Discuss.

 

 

It's called change, and we don't like it. But life is all about things changing. Sucks, but what you going to do? Life changes but we don't. Maybe thats what they mean by " ain't it a bitch?"

[Big Ernie McCracken]

So the last few weeks I have been doing some real intospective analysis and decided I am a cranky old man. I used to be so easy going in my younger years....loud music, drugs, work hard/play hard....i never used to sweat the small stuff.

 

20 years later, I am the old man I used to hate. Argumentative, negative, one to criticize, sarcastic. My wife hates me. My kids hate. Many on this board likely hate me. Buit underneath, I really am a nice guy...or at least I was.

 

What gives? Anyone else becoming Jack Lemmon to my Walter Matthau? Discuss.

 

 

priceless, thanks

Edited July 31, 2009 by Big Ernie McCracken

[Big Ernie McCracken]

So the last few weeks I have been doing some real intospective analysis and decided I am a cranky old man. I used to be so easy going in my younger years....loud music, drugs, work hard/play hard....i never used to sweat the small stuff.

 

20 years later, I am the old man I used to hate. Argumentative, negative, one to criticize, sarcastic. My wife hates me. My kids hate. Many on this board likely hate me. Buit underneath, I really am a nice guy...or at least I was.

 

What gives? Anyone else becoming Jack Lemmon to my Walter Matthau? Discuss.

 

 

[Thews40]

So the last few weeks I have been doing some real intospective analysis and decided I am a cranky old man. I used to be so easy going in my younger years....loud music, drugs, work hard/play hard....i never used to sweat the small stuff.

 

20 years later, I am the old man I used to hate. Argumentative, negative, one to criticize, sarcastic. My wife hates me. My kids hate. Many on this board likely hate me. Buit underneath, I really am a nice guy...or at least I was.

 

What gives? Anyone else becoming Jack Lemmon to my Walter Matthau? Discuss.

This is a great topic... change. If you aren’t forced to change, you’ll only change it you decide to. If external circumstances force you to adapt, then you have to change. What you describe here regarding your kids, I’d make a change. Not sure how old your kids are, but have them ditch school someday and take them to do something very cool. Eat lunch wherever they want and don’t criticize them about anything. If you want change, you have to change

[Ramhock]

I have documented my cerebral struggles which mainly are linked to my inability to be the sole provider. These are uncertain times & at some point these years will be known as a depression, which is an appropriate name. My job, like yours adds to these thoughts as I am a collector & hear people's tribulations, all day, every day. I fear that I will be calling myself in the next few years.

 

I was hoping to get into better shape this summer, having read here that would help. I don't doubt it for a second & hope to get motivated to do that at some point.

 

But if you do SOMETHING for your self, you will feel better.

 

I smoked for 32 years, the last 20 only about 2 packs/week, which is about 2 packs too many. On June 3rd, woke up and needed smokes, like smokers do every 20 days or so. I drove by the Wawa & haven't had one since.

 

In addition, a friend who fishes, gave my 12 & 14 year old fishing poles for a gift, 2 years back, outta the blue. I hadn't caught a fish in 42 years. Since that time they would bug me from time to time to take them. I don't fish.

 

Finally, they wore me down & we went in May. I would bring a book & they would fish for blue gill. We would go every weekend for an hour or two. The 12 year old got bored but the 14 year old is hooked. He finally wore me down.

 

We have now graduated to bass & go 4 - 5 times/wk.

 

These 2 things have helped me greatly. I am by no means cured but feeling better.

 

BTW, what is the fine for not having a fishing license in Delaware?

Edited July 31, 2009 by Ramhock

[tbimm]

priceless, thanks

[matt770]

Augh, I've become bitter too and I'm only 38. It sucks! I would give anything to be happy-go-lucky again. Unfortunately the crotchety gene runs in my family, my grandfather was harsh and demanding, I have an uncle who is exactly the same way and now I'm getting like that. Chasing kids out of the yard, getting pissed if my wife doesn't take things out of the dryer and they get wrinkled, stupid things.

 

And my team has won 3 Super Bowls in my lifetime, so it's not that....

[i_am_the_swammi]

I mentioned to Neutron some of the personal challenges in my life (paying for four kids to be in various forms of daycare full and part time while I fund a wife's college degree as the sole provider). It has been challenging on the family economically...not to a truly concerning point, as every bill is on time and paid....but we've done without the extras, vacations, meals-out, etc for 2+ years, and we are all looking forward to a windfall in cash flow when she graduates in August. She doesn't even have to work...just not paying daycare/college tuition will be a major lifestyle change for us. Its a huge amount of money. For me, it will mean not analyzing every single purchase we make at the store...telling my kids they can't buy a treat, even though they very rarely ask anymore because they know the answer....not getting my hair cut every 6 weeks rather than 4....hopefully not driving a 1998 Camry and parking it next to 2008 BMWs at work. A lot of built up resentment, and its very selfish of me to think "Why do I have to live like this" and "is it really worth it?". We are healthy, we love each other dearly, and even in our current situation, are very fortunate in today's world.

 

Hopefully, all of this is just some short term stress that I just need to manage better.

 

Glad to see this thread re-visited...thanks Slow Ernie!

 

Things have been much much better in recent months.....as noted in bold above, the wifey gets her degree in three more weeks, so with this last round of daycare payments, we are looking forward to life back to normal after two years. Feels great, and we all have the date of her final exam circled on the calendar. I will miss, though, the 26 year-old elementary school teacher who is watching our kids for us this summer.

 

I have a surprise graduation trip planned in October for all of us to Florida to hit Disney for a few days, then off to Santa Rosa to see her best friend from St. Louis who moved there last year. The entire family could use a true getaway, even though we have hit the shore a couple times this summer (though only for a couple days here and there). I can't wait, and can't wait to see their faces when I tell them to pack their bags.

 

While work has been slow, which makes for long days, we are gearing up for a bunch of acquisitions in the next 6-12 months. The extra time has been a blessing , as its allowed me to catch up on getting my priorities back in order. I have lost 14 pounds since I posted in March, and am now down to 192, just seven pounds more than my playing weight in college. I feel healthier, the wife digs my new svelte frame , and I think its helped my overall view on a variety of things. I am swinging the clubs again, though only a few times a month, but just being out of the house and on the course for a few hours here and there has been some great downtime. Card game is back "on", and have been taking out my recent frustrations on some unsuspecting donks...nothing like a large stack of black chips a couple times a month to make you feel a lil' better.

 

Seems as though it was just a temporary doldrums....I hope. I still have my my moments of short-temperedness, but they are much fewer and farther between. As always, thanks for the solid input to those that provided it! Some obviously will never understand the value and camaraderie provided here.

[matt770]

Some obviously will never understand the value and camaraderie provided here.

 

Yep. One forum with knowledgeable football fanatics and another to shoot the sheet about whatever. It's pretty awesome here, can't allow one or two morons to ruin it.

[Big F'n Dave]

I quit church softball for the same reason. One guy wanted to win and decided to bowe up at me in the baseline and tag me out. Well I'm a big guy and still pretty fast. My knee hit him on top of the skull and knocked him smooth out. I honestly thought I had killed him. He was twitching and stuff. I had a hugh knot (baseball size) and the skin went numb for like 2 years. Moral of the story was that he wanted to win so bad he was playing by old school rules instead of just tagging me or waving me by and it nearly killed him. I quit playin after that.

 

I'm just shocked that this story didn't somehow involve you sh*tting yourself.

[nuke'em ttg]

I'm just shocked that this story didn't somehow involve you sh*tting yourself.

[Capt. Waffle]

Sounds like Back Lash to the chitter the world has become lately, it's real easy to be bitter these days with things the way they are globally and here at home.......man, I'm really ready for some fracking football!!!!!!!!